Here's a surprise to most of you. At first they are complete opposites, that's what you think. Just because they are different doesn't mean they aren't the same.
You can get confused between which was is what you truly feel.
Hate
Love
Two completly opposite emotions. But yet, they are the same exact feeling.
Your heart paces. Breathing increases. Eyes get wide. You can barely breathe. A shiver crawls through your body. You get hot. You can't stop thinking of that person.
Same result when you hate someone as when you love someone. The only difference is that when you think of them you either want to kill them or kiss them.
it's still the same thing. They're opposites. But they're the same. Alike, really. You just got to know the difference.
I think you'll be albe to detect it. Just don't confuse them or you'll be screwed.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey, Nike. Here for your second very-belated secret santa review! Sorry your regular santa was a deadbeat santa, but at least I am here to fill in, right? :3
You have such good ideas for essays or little writing snippets. You pick out really good emotions or single-line thoughts and you attempt to bring them out in your writing. Like here, you have the fascinating idea that hate and love are very closely related and you back them up with the detail of how our physical reactions are the same when we experience these emotions. What's extra cool is that by describing physical reactions, you can get our bodies to subconsciously respond to those descriptions, so you might have readers with wide eyes and imagining that situation.
I do wonder, though, how you can increase your breathing and barely breathe at the same time.
I would like to see more details to back up your proclamation, too. For example, you say that we have to know the difference, but you're the one who discovered the similarities in the first place, so you kind of present yourself as an expert. Push yourself further in your writing and give us the differences. Then we can see whether we agree or disagree with you. OTHERWISE, tell us how we might be able to detect the difference.
And go further at the end, too. You leave us on a vague note, which is not gonna make your piece memorable. If you give us a situation where we'd be "screwed" if we confused them, we can pin your thoughts to a concrete scene that we can remember long after we've finished reading this essay.
Hopefully these thoughts were helpful to you! I'd love to see your edits. PM me or reply to my reviews if you have any questions, okay?
Good luck and keep writing!
Hi, Nike!
So, I'm going to have to agree with Rosey. This piece didn't do anything for me. I definitely think that you could flesh this out into either a short story or an essay; this idea has potential to be strong in both mediums. Right now, it's bare, and really too short to make an impact. Right now, it's too short; you are basically putting to writing an observation to writing. My reaction: "Cool, I guess?" It's not convincing.
If you want to make this stronger, first, you have to decide how you want to present your argument. Then you should do some research so you can come up with facts to support your argument and make it stronger. If you're going to make this into essay, it would probably be a good idea to include some statistics. This way, you'll be able to convince your readers to go along your idea, listen to rationale for your argument, and even if they don't agree, see where you are coming from.
If you want to develop it like a story, do what Rosey said-- go through the process. Show everything through the eyes of the characters and use their lives as representation for what you are trying to say.
I hope this helps you! Feel free to shoot me a PM if you have any questions.
Hello.
I think would do better as an opinion piece, maybe fleshed out into a full essay, instead of a story like this.
To critique it as an argument, I'm not buying it. Physical reactions are not the same as mental reactions, and because of how different the two emotions are (which you admit) it's difficult to see how they can overlap based on physical reactions alone. Come up with some examples for how you can confuse the two. Show us how one can progress to the other in a logical fashion. No need to make it into a story if you're going to keep it as an opinion piece. Simply persuade us to your line of thinking.
Persuasion is required because of how radical the argument looks on its surface. Most people will dismiss it for being radical right off the start. Unless you give us arguments to change our minds that hate and love are opposite, then we will continue to dismiss this argument.
If you want to turn this into a story, then go through the story process. Create a character, situation, and emotional progression from hate to love, love to hate, somebody mistaking one for the other, or somebody feeling both at once. This article could help you keep the story short, if you don't want it to become a novella/novel.
Overall, make this stronger. Right now, it's your opinion with no reason to believe it. Give us reasons, and/or take us through an emotional journey. These are not mutually exclusive to essays or stories.
Hope this helps. PM me if you have any questions/comments.
~Rosey