Once, towers walked among us—firm and wide,
Their shadows swept the earth with fearless might.
They fetched the sun and bent the day to stride,
Unyielding limbs outpacing noon and night.
But now, the tower trembles when it stands,
Its summit bowed, its echo lost to air.
What once could carry storms with steady hands
Now leans to walls, unsure the ground is there.
The voice once rich with thunder whispers low,
Its hunger dulled, its taste of sweetness gone.
Time, sly and slow, has bent the spine of glow,
And left a soul half-heard, yet looking on.
O hush—this giant fades, not in disgrace,
But like the dusk: with dignity and grace.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hi Nethmi!
Saw this in the green room and thought I'd check it out — and I can't believe I haven't read this earlier! The subject here is so genuine and vulnerable; the simple process of growing old and "losing" the old version of oneself with time is inevitable and makes for a relatable message for anyone reading.
The idea of the grandfather being described as a tower, and its weakening state as it gets older, is so well done! You don't give too much away on the grandfather specifically, but the title hints that the there's a speaker behind the somewhat generalized narration. It otherwise reads as a fairytale of sorts: telling a story of towers "walking" in earlier years, to now being on shaky grounds, in more formal language enhances this feel. The "O hush" is also complementary to this. Almost like the speaker is consoling themself through reflection. The rhyme scheme also works with this in a beautiful way!
I love both of these lines. Your ability to work with the rhyme scheme without giving up language use is impressive. There's a lot of beautiful architectural and natural imagery that is fitting for the theme of time passing. "Dusk" is a great way to describe the slow, inevitable loss of someone in life.
My only constructive comment is that we lose out on some of the tower/building imagery in the second half of the poem. "Tower" turns to descriptions of his voice and general presence, and while that's not a bad thing it does kind of veer away from a cohesive metaphor all the way throughout?
I love the ending as it feels like a kind of a soft reminder for the speaker to themselves that while their grandfather may soon pass, there is a beauty in the natural course life takes and the person he is/will always be. It doesn't seem to romanticize death, completely, but it poses a silver lining to counteract the negativity that often surrounds death. I like how gentle it is.
I hope this helped, I loved reading this!
Calamity
such an intimate way to portray the feeling of being a witness to a loved one growing old, without the fear of, or the underlying shame towards, that natural phase of life. this is a lovely poem!
Thank you!
Hey there, Nethmi. I'm Alex here for a quick review
Must start with the best bit - The symbolism. The entire poem is one, the towers referring to your grandfather I believe. It depicts how the wheel of time and aging seem to affect your grandfather.
The title suggests your grandfather 's light to be getting dim. You portray him as a lamp or candle, any source of light losing the zest it once had. The more time passes on, the dimmer the light would become, something obvious and universal. But knowing it'll happen doesn't make us prepared or facing it any easy.
The first stanza describes the tower, perhaps pointing out to your grandpa's tall height or straight posture. You describe him as a force to be reckoned with, a might that doesn't bend to nature. Time can't tire our limbs though they've been in action the entire day.
The second stanza, on the other hand, lays quite the contrast. The towers thar once stood firm is now trembling- all due to the lash of time alone. His posture is now bent and his body searches for walls to lean on while walking.
The third stanza is an extension of the second, describing more of what all has rusted. Loud thunders have changed to low whispers. His hunger has lost it's glow while his voice is no longer sweet to listen to.
The final closing stanza hushes the reader's advances at pitying comments about your grandfather's condition. You point out how the giant may have faded but has done so in a graceful and dignified way. You compare his old age to the dusk of day. A part of day neither to be celebrated nor mourned, but acknowledged and experienced.
Old age is not a blessing or a curse. It's merely a phase of life humans go through. Whether we like it or not, we must experience. To prevent it is so go against nature. Old age ought to be cherished and lived like one does his childhood and youth. Like life, old age is beautiful as well, though it may not appear that way to the naked eye. It's a badge of honour that one has lived his life fully, with one's fair share of regrets and failures.
Amazing work with a simple realism about a universal truth, often overlooked.
Thank you for your long and deep analysis. Thanks for the appreciation as well dear reader.