1
There once was a village called Furl,
Where there once lived a poor little girl,
Her house was a state, no food on her plate,
With no food, in the corner she'd curl.
2
She went to the forest of gloom,
To collect a few things to consume,
Up high and down low, her basket in tow,
As the darkness crawled over the plume.
3
Above called the crows who misled,
Why don't you try the berries instead?",
Up in the trees, looking down as they tease,
Knew those berries would leave her half dead!
4
Came a noise from the path ahead,
Where the lost ghouls and bad beasties tread,
Creak, rustle and whack, Sneak, bustle and crack,
She could flee but was frozen instead.
5
A figure emerged from the haze,
A sweet old lady lost in her ways,
Wearing a dull cloak, she gave out a croak,
"Oh my, you haven't eaten in days!"
6
This pot here is a thing of joy
But don't abuse it like it's a toy,
Cook little pot cook! flow fast like the brook,
Make sweet porridge for you to enjoy.
If you shouldn't need any more,
This stern warning you shouldn't ignore,
Say little pot stop, or you'll need a mop,
Or much worse could unfold on the moor.
7
The poor girl rushed home with that pot,
Showed her mom something better than rot,
Her mom was tongue tied, her eyes had grown wide
There's no way they could eat the whole lot!
8
They grabbed their spoons and ate quickly,
The porridge erupted quite thickly,
They soon stuffed their gobs, dipped in small cold cobs,
The porridge by then got quite sickly.
9
They had eaten all that they could,
Certainly more than anyone should,
Bliss was acquired, they soon retired,
And fell soundly asleep on the wood.
10
Next morning she woke in a flash,
Grabbed her things and went out in a dash,
Slam! went the front door, Mom woke with a snore,
And observed her new porridge moustache.
11
"Cook!", I say, "Cook little pot cook!"
The odd pot spat and violently shook,
She yelped in panic, it became manic,
So she crammed herself in a small nook.
12
The porridge grew to a great height,
Shot through the roof and into the light,
Mom let out a scream, was this a bad dream?
In a heap she collapsed from her fright.
13
The village folk began to yell,
Heard from the woods where the girl did dwell,
The girl jumped in shock, she ran to the rock,
And saw something she thought came from hell.
14
A great monster on the attack,
Shouting so loud and throwing a yak,
The girl sharply gasped, her basket she grasped,
Ran with haste through the wood to get back!
15
The village folk planned their defence,
Atmosphere in the village was tense,
Fork, spoon and ladle, book, post and cradle,
The battle became fierce and intense!
16
It roared with pride across the land,
Started to feast with town folk in hand,
Young, wrinkly or small, thin, chubby or tall,
The giant thought it's feast quite grand.
17
Little pot! ,the poor girl cried out,
The brute approached awaiting their bout,
Mouth curved in a grin, goosebumps on her skin,
The foul goo came right up to her snout.
18
Who are you to intrude my space?
The monster spat slime right on her face,
I say Little Pot, Stop this foolish plot,
Then she shielded herself with fine grace.
19
The porridge began to rumble,
As it's insides started to crumble,
All was a shudder, all was a judder,
The creature came down in a tumble.
20
The mad fiend had met it's demise,
The town folk wiped the goo from their eyes,
Their home was a sight, what was this odd plight?
A great mess that came up to their thighs.
21
They now had a large heap of food,
Rejecting this gift would be quite rude,
They ran to gobble, both oat and cobble,
A choice day of fine dining ensued.
22
A week past, they'd not made a dent!
The goo had curdled into cement,
Their bellies had swelled! Their houses still smelled
The stew had caused them only torment.
23
The girl and her mom shared a hug,
After the mishap, they weren't so smug,
Due to their greed, they'd ignored those in need,
And were now stuck with too much to chug.
24
The moral is don't be greedy,
Share your things with the poor and needy,
Eat your porridge stew, before it eats you,
And make off with that pot quite speedy!
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140,930 Literary Works • 673,754 Reviews
Heheheh! Real nice piece of work here. Imagine this in a huge pop-up picture book with each stanza illustrated on a page. I would buy this story for my kids! (Hopefully this will be published by time they are here) The rhymes are consistent and fun, and for like 95% of the piece, kept the beat that was going on while I read. Some of the rhymes were really really forced though. As you needed end-rhymes, sometimes you had to use weird syntax, but it's humorous how forced they are, so it works! (Would be nicer if you removed the "the in stanza 3, line 2 to keep the rhythm, or say something like "why try not the berries instead?", since some of the syntax is already not too orthodox. Also, I think the "past" in line 22 should be "passed".
Very nice piece here! Hope you write many more like these. You are a talent!
Keep Writing.
Adam-Clay.
Wow! Just wow! That's amazing, great use of humor, imagery, metaphors, and rhythm. The moral of the story is pretty good too. The story line I got to say is great, a poor little girl who get's tricked is kinda cliche, but when you added the little pot and how it became a monster, great twist, that separated it from all the other stories and made it very good and original. In short great work, great story line, good lesson, amazing use of metaphors, imagery, and great rhythim (some lines didn't rhyme that much but that understandable not all words can plus that was like 2 or 3 lines out of the 24 sections you wrote so it definately isn't really noticeable) and just wonderfull humor. I totally wanna read more of your work, 10/10 by IGN XD but really GREAT work!