Billy Goats Gruff: Troll Hunters

There was once a forgotten land,

Where dark and death were close at hand,

There will be knolls, and there will be trolls,

And there will be a horned fur brigand!

He is mean and he is quite mad,

But at heart he's not all that bad,

A stubborn gripe who loves his pipe,

And that is Billy Goat Gruff Krad!

He is slim and he is slender,

Though he makes a brave defender,

He's short and tough with fur so rough,

That is Billy Goat Gruff Fender!

Kid is cute and has a pan flute,

That makes a most beautiful toot!

Used as bait to bring trolls their fate,

And this is our band of cahoots!

This bold goat her are an odd sort,

Has been great battles they have fought,

Ends were met, with lives in their debt,

upon trolls their wrath has been wrought.

A great number they have since slain,

For no glory and for no gain,

They cut through vein and inflict pain,

From the Mist-Marsh to the Moons-Bane.

Trolls are craggy and Trolls are wild,

Towns and bridges they have defiled!

Striking in hordes, with no remorse,

To the hilt the bodies were piled!

Eating good folk is what they do,

Sneaking about, they'll wait for you,

Twist, snap and crack, there goes your back,

Where they hid, you wish you had knew!

Hark! Billy Goats Gruff assemble!

Trolls far and wide start to tremble!

Bang and bash and shatter and smash,

Back to their caves, they will scramble,

On one murky misty morning,

Our troop came across a warning,

A troll was abound, their task found,

Off they went as the day was dawning.

Alas they came to the dark wood,

Where the barren trees of old stood,

Out of sight...trolls scurried with fright!

Retreating as far as they could!

The trolls of the trees wailed in fear,

As their untimely end drew near,

As they died, mist seeped from their eyes,

The path was no longer clear.

Eager to bring the troll their wrath,

The goats continued on their path,

By axe or sword, fearless they roared!

In the face of that brute they'll laugh!

There came a castle on their trail,

It stood firm in the icy gale,

Caked in cold snow, nowhere to go,

They seek shelter from the sharp hail.

Towards the old castle they crept,

Into the damp moat their hooves stepped,

Then a great BOOM! Was this their doom?

Across the great marsh a voice swept.

It yelled, "Who dares enter my moat?

Stench of fur and flesh of goat,

Be he bold...or be he brave,

Will find himself an early grave..."

The goats stood tall and simply said,

"We are the Gruff! Fear where we tread!

By fate and scroll, your head will roll!

By the end of night, you'll be dead!"

There came a rumble all around,

Beneath the mass of earthy ground,

Wood and stone, even moss and bone,

Began to converge all round.

This was hard for them to foresee,

A Troll disguised in stone and tree,

With cloth and steel, to trick it's meal,

Into it's trap of old debris!

The iron gates slammed tightly shut,

A nasty feeling in their gut,

Surrounded by stone and all alone,

The goats found themselves in a rut!

It was time to plan their attack!

They refused to be this Troll's snack!

Grabbing their axe, leaving no tracks,

They knew there was no going back...

Krad broke to the left, Fender right,

Kid sat silent, looking so white,

He played his tune and courted the moon,

And waited till the time was right.

It's head swooped down, hungry for Goat,

Laughing so deep within it's throat,

Close to teeth, Kid removed his sheath,

That foul Troll won't have time to gloat!

Dashing out of the misty cloud,

Came Krad and Fender with their heads bowed,

Kid shivered, the blow delivered,

A head butt of which to be proud!

Kid unleashed his blade to the air,

Through flesh and warm blood it did tear,

With a thud, landing in thick mud,

Its eyes fixed in an icy stare.

And just like that the threat was gone,

On their heads, sweet glory had shone,

Their word was true, the troll was through,

Now the Billy Goats could move on.

Let this be a warning to all,

All Trolls foul, and chubby and small,

Beware the gruff, with horn and hoof!

Dare challenge them and you will fall.

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