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The Colour Black

by NathanielZykov


Bouncing of light never reaches the deepest, depths,

Leaving nothing behind, like the cold grip of death.

Absorbing all colour, never reflecting a single smile, tear, emotion

Continuously locked away from life’s commotion.

Known to all, seen by none, like the black knight of tale and legend.


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108 Reviews


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Sun Mar 31, 2019 5:13 pm
4revgreen wrote a review...



The rhyming in this was really nice, and worked really well!
I also really loved the structure, as it flowed well and sounded really great when read out loud :-)
I do think you could have experimented a little more with punctuation - you used a lot of comma's, where you could have tried out perhaps a semi colon or something.




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Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:59 am
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kostia wrote a review...



Hello there NathanielZykov

Happy review day!

This is Kostia here to give you a quick review on your poem!

Structure:

This is written in a classic verse to verse rhyming style. I really liked it and I believe it fits perfectly on your theme. It is a small poem and with the current choice of formating it doesn't need to have any stanzas.

With that being said there is not a lot to go through here. I think you might want to reconsider your last verse. If you don't want to add another one to make it rhyme, you should probably seperate it from the rest of the poem.

If I was you I would leave a space between the last verse and the rest of the poem and simplify it from:
“Known to all, seen by none, like the black knight of tale and legend.”
to:
“Known to all, seen by none”

Moreover I think there are more things on that matter so you can expand a bit, make it bigger and more conclusive. The whole poem can fit to a single stanza so you have room to build it up.

Vocabulary/ Phrasing:

I liked your choise of words, simple and yet full of content. You didn't use any unecessary complicated words. Good work!

Spelling/ grammar: Nothing to note here everything seemed okay.

Disclaimer: I am not a native speaker so I might have missed minor mistakes.

Imagery and emotion:
For such a small poem it was discriptive enough and quite imaginetive. The imagery was pretty good, considering that this is basically a poem about the general concept of darkness.

Content:
For a brief poem the content of this was pretty good. In my opinion it was both symbolic and literal which is an element I enjoyed while reading it. It was also full of emotion and philosophical aspects!

Overview:
Over all this was a fairly good read and highly emotional and dramatic. I really enjoyed reading it. Looking forward to read more from you!

Keep writing

Best regards,
Kostia






Thank you so much for the review. I will use your suggestions if I choose to reedits this.



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Sun Mar 31, 2019 12:23 am
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AmadeusW wrote a review...



Great use of descriptive words, metaphor, etc. Black is an interesting color to focus on in poetry because it has so many different historical, emotional, and social meanings that can be taken in various ways. You seem to take a few of those meanings and put them together here quite nicely. Two things that stand out to me in terms of editing is the comma you place in the first line after the word "deepest". To me this seems like a typo. Second thing is the last line use of the words "tale and legend", which contain little to no rhyme to the other line endings, something that in the name of consistency should probably be revised to keep your pattern of AABB(CC). If you want to keep "tale and legend", then maybe you could add another line after that to really seal the deal here.

Good job, happy writing!






Thank you for the review. I will implement your suggestions if I'm going to add morello the poem.



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Sun Mar 31, 2019 12:02 am
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Anma wrote a review...



Hello Nathaniel!

Anma here for a review!

This is a nice piece, short, but nice.
There is some imagery in this which I like fairly much.
The way you explained it was mostly specific, It made it more interesting.
Instead of just saying (Blacks a ,dark, color) If you understand what I mean. :)


There is a few things that bother me when I see it though so I am just putingt it out there.

The first line

"Bouncing of light never reaches the deepest depths.
I am hosnestly not going based on the actual rule of comas, but I do feel there is no need for them. When you read it out loud pausing at (deepest, depths) doesn't make much sense.

The third line were it says Colour I think you mean (Color), but is another word for it so i wont push on it. Just if you would want to change it do (Color)
"Absorbing all color, never reflecting a single smile, tear, emotion.

That's all I got to say.

Hope to read more from you!

Keep up the good work!






Thank you so much for the review. I really appreciate the feedback and will use it in the future.
The reason why I wrote 'colour' instead of 'color' is because I'm from Canada and we use the British way of spelling, which adds an additional 'u' to some words.



Anma says...


Ya I figured, that's why I said you don't need to but I did suggest it. No problem away!




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