Arthura Pendragon

So, I'm thinking of starting a Merlin story, but I need advice. 

What do you think about the beginning like this? What are your other thoughts?

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I am lying in my fluffy featured bed when the guard storms into my dorm.

“Princess, we are under attack.” he blurts out.

I step out of bed and start wearing tight armor and my crown. I run outside and look around me everywhere. People were in panic. I take my sword and slice through the evil monsters that invade my kingdom.

I look at the iron gate and see that it’s trembling as a horde of men are pushing against it and shaking it. “Commander Strickler, guide the people to a safe passage. The gate won’t hold any longer.”

The commander hesitates for a moment and says, “But princess, we need to get you to safety, without you this kingdom is nothing.”

I stand on my word and say, “The people go first.” There are men that brutally kill my people. They look like wild dogs that haven't been released in years now. It is all so much for me, but I can’t show any fear. I have to stand strong. I can’t just stand there and watch as my kingdom is being torn apart.

My guards are all in combat fighting the “monsters” one by one. It looks like we didn’t stand a chance, there are too many of them. As a guard is running by, I stop him and ask, “Where are the archers?” The guard looks at me, fear fills in his eyes and says, “Your honor, I’m sorry. They murdered them, all of them.” I am shocked, all of them? We had two thousand twenty nine archers. All of them are dead now.

I join the fight and start fighting off the men one by one. I know my sword is sacred and it will help me, but for how long will I be able to hold it off? I wish my father was here.

I see my people running, they’re grabbing food and water bottles. They’re grabbing their children and running with them to the guards I've put in charge. I am fighting as many men as I can, but it isn’t enough. It looks like they are coming and coming. It isn’t stopping.

One man held a woman from my kingdom very tightly by her hair as he stabbed a blade through her husband's heart. The husband's blood spat all over the woman as she screamed and tried to get herself loose. He laughed wickedly and grabbed her by her neck.

I walked up to the man and tried to stab him with my sword, but he quickly reacted and held a blade against the woman's neck.

“Put it down!” he commanded me, “Now! or she dies." I looked at the woman. She looked back at me and said, “Don’t do it, your honor. Run away!” The man looked at me as his dreadlocks fell onto his face and smiled viciously, leaving all his yellow black teeth exposed. “Princess,” he said and grinned.

“I am not letting you die.” I said to the woman and just when I was about to lower my sword a guard came from the back and stabbed the man. The woman fell onto the ground hugging her dead husband's body, sobbing all over. I nodded to the guard as he left again and then I knelt next to the woman. “You need to get inside, it’s not safe here.” I said to her, She looked at me, her eyes filled with tears that washed her face dreaded with blood. I closed her husband's eyes and said, “You really need to go now.” The woman stood up and grabbed her long skirt as she ran into the castle.

Suddenly, the gate is falling down.

No! Not our gate. The gate falls on half of my guard group. I rush towards them and some of them are holding the gate, I join them and hold the gate also. “Stay strong, my people! We can do this! "For Camelot!” Everyone looks at me and says, “For Camelot!” We try to pull the gate up, one of my guards has his foot stuck there and the metal is cutting through his flesh. He screamed out, I can’t help him. “Faster!” I say.

Someone stomps me on my head with a big lump of wood and I lose control. I start feeling dizzy and all sound around me disappears. I look around me and see my guards being teared down one by one, their hands and feet are getting cut off. They’re screaming, but I can’t hear it. My head hurts very much and I am trying to walk but stumble and fall. I frown and feel my head burning. I touch the back of my head and feel warm liquid, I look at my hand and see blood.

Someone grabs me by my hair and takes my crown off. I am being dragged by my hair on the ground over dead bodies and dirt. I can’t fail! I tell myself. I try to bite his hand, but it isn’t working. I get dragged in front of the commander of the horde of men. She lifts my head, “Stand up!” She commands me. I try to lift my feet, but they give up. I fall to the ground once again.

She lifts me up and holds me by my neck. “So your Princess Arthura, I’ve heard so much about.” Her grip is crushing my windpipe, I can’t get any air inside. I try to loosen her hand, but the more I struggle the more she tightens his grip. “Not so princess anymore are you? You’ve failed, Arthura Pendragon. You failed your father, your mother, your brother, your people and your kingdom. You're only seventeen and you already failed this miserably. “Let my people go! This isn’t your land, Morgana!” She spits in my face and says, “It is now.”

She takes Excalibur and stabs me through my back and twists the sword. I feel the blade piercing through my skin. She drops me on the floor with my crown next to me and crushes it with her feet. She laughs wildly and says, “Camelot is ours! Victory is ours!” I see my people crying, wailing, sobbing. I don’t know what to call it. I see my guards getting down on their knees bowing to the enemy. I want to tell them not to lose faith. But I failed. I failed everyone, my people, my father, my kingdom and myself. I can’t save anyone anymore, everyone is done and gone.

A tear rolls down from my left eye as I am breathing out my last breath with the thought of how miserably I failed.