Tea Time With The Ladies

Seventy-six-year-old Margo was late for tea with her friends. When she got there and sat down she apologized to the three and made excuses about traffic, rabid chihuahuas, and a particularly handsome TV provider salesboy she wanted to come inside to help her with the remote.

“Oh, no problem,” “We’ve got all day,” “Poor you,” the three ladies mumbled over each other unenthusiastically. She was late every year. One would think she could manage to make it on time to a once-a-year thing, but alas, it isn’t true.

“Well, you ladies look nice. None of you look a day older than the last time I saw you, or the time before that, actually,” Margo beamed, showing yellow teeth.

Her friend, Roseanne, gave a tight-lipped smile, “How sweet. You look great too! Say, when did you start cutting back your hairline to add to the whiskers under your nose?”

Margo smiled, her crow's feet uncrinkled, “You are funny, Roseanne.”

The other three all chuckled, dead-eyed.

“Let’s not comment on her whiskers,” Shirley said, “I think she’s insecure. But I, for one, am glad she’s accepted her ratty features. Inspirational, really.

Margo glanced away, hiding her smirk, “Your boyfriend didn’t think I looked so ratty back in senior year.”

“What did I say about talking about my-!”

“Ladies, ladies!” Elenor piped up, “Come on, blood sisters, we haven’t even got any tea yet.” She looked pointedly at Margo who then waved her hand in the air, signaling their waiter.

“Margo,” Elenor started, “what happened to that neighbor you told us about last year? The one who kept stealing your groceries off your porch.”

“Well, I warned him multiple times to stop doing it or I would turn him into a toad.”

“Then what?”

“He didn’t stop so I turned him into a toad.”

The table erupted with genuine laughter. “That’s our girl!” “Got what he deserved” “Ahh, I miss getting payback!”

People were looking at their table oddly, probably thinking, “Crazy old lady,” that was the good thing about being that age.

No one believed you were an actual witch. They just assumed you were mad.

Their water stalked his way over. Roseanne tapped Shirley and Elenor on the arm to say, watch the show!

Margo heard his footsteps and took one hand and rubbed her finger along her teeth to make sure there was no lipstick on them, and then she took her other arthritic hand and ran it through her thin and brittle gray hair. Her eyes took on a twinkle like a blue sea on a sunny day that once had men falling to their knees, Shirley’s boyfriend included.

“What can I get you today?” He asked.

Margo looked up and her expression fell, “Where’s Marcus?”

“He’s out today, family emergency.”

“No, he’s been here every year we’ve come for the past five years. He’s never out.”

The waiter smiled, “Oh, you must be Margo, his special friend that he told me about,” he winked, “Don’t worry ma’am, he appointed me to take care of you today and says he’ll make it up to you next year.”

Margo’s face lit up again, “He called me his ‘special friend’?”

“Sure did.”

The other three ladies all chuckled and tapped on each other, get a load of this.

Margo looked the waiter up and down, “Well, I guess that’s fine. You are nearly as handsome as him,” she tried to twirl her hair in a flirtatious way but it looked more like a spasm, “We still need a few moments to get our order right.”

The waiter looked to the three ladies then back to Margo, “Right,” another wink, “let me know when you’re ready.” He stalked back off.

Roseanne rolled her eyes, “Another boy toy?”

Margo shrugged, “I can’t help that I'm so charming.”

“Charm? More like witchery,” Shirley scoffed.

“I told you I won your boyfriend over fair and square.”

“Liar!” She slammed her hands on the table.

“You were collecting ingredients for a fondness potion shortly before you stole him away,” Roseanne chimed in.

“Was not!”

“Was to!”

Again, “Ladies, ladies!” Said Elenor. “Let’s act our age, we do this every year. Let’s at least get our orders before we start yelling each other's heads off. I want an Earl Grey tea.

Shirley huffed, “Herbal”

“Green,” Said Roseanne, “And two towers of macaroons for the table, please.”

Margo signaled back their waiter with googly eyes and told him their orders.

“Big appetite,” he said after she finished reciting their orders.

“No, we’ll be sharing. Obviously.”

He looked to her friends again, “Yeah, that’s right. Coming right up.”

The women continued chatting about high school and college while they waited, continuing their familiar cycle. Margo brings up something triggering, Roseanne instigates, Shirley gets mad, and Elenor calms them down.

Then, finally, their tea and macaroons arrived.

“You’re getting even more petty with your craft aren’t you, Margo?” Shirley asked.

“I wouldn’t say so. He deserved to be turned into a toad, he looked like one anyway.”

Roseanne smiled, “Just because someone looks like a pest doesn’t mean they should be turned into one. I mean, we kept you around all that time.”

Margo bared her teeth, rather rat-like, “Roseann–!”

“I’m going to stop that right there,” Elenor took a sip of her tea. “Tell us about your search for an apprentice, how's that going?”

Margo tucked her incisors back in her mouth and put back on a more pleasant expression. “Well, I thought I’d have luck with the TV provider salesboy after I told him to stick around and help me find those late-night show programs, but then he just scrambled off."

Shirley rolled her eyes, “I wonder why.”

Margo sipped her tea to hide a smile, “My preferred option, though, was going to be Marcus, but he’s not here today.”

Elenor snapped her fingers, “That’s a shame, he really likes you-”

“For reasons I’ll never understand,” Shirley cut in.

“-he would be a good apprentice. Maybe you could come back when he’s returned to work?” Elenor finished.

“You know I can’t," She smiled sadly, "Though, I wonder what emergency he had?” Margo waved her hand again and called back over their waiter.

“Yes, Miss Margo?”

Margo blushed, “I was just wondering what happened that caused Marcus to miss work?”

The waiter’s expression turned contemplative.

“Come on. I’m his special friend, I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Well, okay, I’m sure you’ve heard it on the news. The old man that went missing a few months ago? That’s Marcus’ grandfather. They think they’ve found a lead that could lead to the kidnapper and he’s helping with the search.”

“What’s the lead?”

The waiter laughed then shook his head, “Sorry it’s not funny.

“What is it?”

“They’ve found residue from what they believe to be…toad slime leading far away from the house. I don’t know what a kidnapper would do with toad slime, but that’s what they found.”

Shirley, Roseanne, and Elenor all made a choking sound in their throat which Margo assumed was them containing their laughs. The waiter didn’t even look their way.

Margo went still, “Well, I hope they find him soon.”

“Me too,” he looked to his right, “I have to go check up on some tables.”

Once he walked away Margo’s peers loudly, and uncontrollably started cackling. Even Elenor.

“Looks like you’ve got a toad to find,” said Roseanne.

“Yup,” Margo took a sip of tea, suddenly embarrassed.

The ladies continued talking and smacking their lips on macaroons but Margo wasn’t listening. How did she not know her neighbor was Marcus’ grandfather? How are they just now finding residue? Could he not leap behind his human, grocery-stealing, life so he kept coming back? And most importantly, how could such a toad have a bloodline of princes?

When Margo came back into focus Shirley and Roseanne were arguing about something.

“It’s your fault we're stuck here, it was your idea!” Roseanne shouted.

“Well, you agreed with your provocative little comments like always, everyone agreed!” Shirley shouted back.

“Ladies, it’s not so bad. How can we blame our twenty-two-year-old selves?” Elenor sang.

“Are y’all talking about The Binding Deal?” Margo smirked, “We all agreed to do that because we love each other so much.”

“Yeah, well, I thought I’d last the longest. You don’t get to talk with your plump skin and charming grandma glow. I didn’t think I’d be the ball of this tetherball game we played with our souls” Roseanne huffed.

Margo feigned a pout even though she was thoroughly enjoying the conversations, “Y’all have become so bitter toward me, why can’t we just remember the good times when we would party and hang out in the forest barefooted?”

Shirley smiled but quickly hid it, “There’ll be time for that. But, now, aren't we supposed to remind you of all the awful things you did until you feel bad?”

“Possibly.”

The women all sipped their tea and ate their sweets until they were full.

“Well, it’s getting late, I better head out. Maybe I can catch that salesboy as he’s leaving my neighborhood,” Margo said, mumbling through a napkin.

“No!” Elenor protested, “Just a little longer.”

“I can't, I have to take my meds.”

“What a stupid rule we came up with.”

“Well, there has to be some consequence for the losers.”

Roseanne, who'd been smiling the entire time finally let her face drop, “Well, see you next year, friend. Or maybe you'll lose the game before then and we'll all be cut loose to move on.”

The women all gave each other bittersweet smiles.

Their waiter made his way over to give them the bill and his jaw dropped upon seeing all the empty dishes.

“You actually finished…” he muttered quietly.

“Well, of course, we share–” Margo started but decided not to finish.

“Right,” he said as he looked to Margo’s friends but not at them.

Margo wondered if he really believed in ghosts or was just being polite their whole stay.

Some people just have no courtesy for the dead. He’s not like Marcus at all, Margo thought, and she could see the same thoughts reflected on her friends’ faces.

Rosanne, Shirley, and Elenor were giving the waiter a death stare as he looked to their chairs.

Roseanne sunk in her seat, “My eyes are up here,” she said.

The four women spewed belly laughs that were sure to hurt later, but the waiter just looked at Margo, confused, while smiling politely. He couldn’t hear the others.