E - Everyone

Divine love

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The cackling of the child
To the mourning of the mother
It's life,
where everything shudders.

Memories slide past her eyes
When she sees him lying,
Winding her hands around him
dropping her pearls on the shroud and crying.

He was the apple of her eye
who could make her laugh with his first try,
She made him eat
as she thought he began to grow so weak.

But one day
he never turned up
The wait was long, but then
She saw him lying on the roadside with the mob.

Ah! her heart cried,
The love she bore for him
gave her the worst nightmare she could ever imagine.

Today she think her scolding to the child
is the reason why he died,
But is it the God to be cursed?
Because a mother's feeling can't be really crushed.

He is still there, before her eyes,
As for a mother the child can never die.. 

Comments & reviews · 4
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Joyful45 Comment

I love it.

Thank you %uD83D%uDE00

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Joyful45 Comment

I love it.

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Sheadun
Review
Sheadun wrote a review · Thu Sep 22, 2016 6:26 pm

Hi!

Shea here! I am not very good at reviewing poetry, nor am I good at writing it! I read this poem because I am very close with my mother.

Such a good poem, might I add! Each stanza floated perfectly from one to another. Although this poem is sad, it is beautiful and I deeply applaud you for it.

Really, really, beautiful poem! keep writing!
Shea :)

Thank you so much Shea.. Glad you liked it. :D

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Elijah
Review
Elijah wrote a review · Thu Sep 22, 2016 4:55 pm

King here

This work is very amazing even if I find it so sad. It makes you appreciate everything your mother have do and still does for you, her child, only so you can be happy and have what you want. It is not the mother's fault that her child needed to pass away and I am sure that seeing your own child taking his last breath before you is just the saddest thing ever. Unfortunately death comes for young kids also.

I noticed that there is a rhyme which very smoothy went with the flow of this sad work, making it roll around the tongue while being read out loud. Well, it is good even if read in your mind only as I did.

The rhyme has its weak spots unfortunately. The first stanza is one and also during the fifth stanza. Every other stanza is full of emotions and love of a beloved mother and her sad thoughts. The last stanza is the one I just somehow love the most, it is only two lines but for me, it ends the poetry perfectly. It is not rhymed but I still like it.


I think my only bigger problem is the weak start but I am glad it did not stop me from reading it until the end of it.

Have a good day!

Thanks a lot for your kind words King.. People like you keep me motivated. :) :D



so many languages have fallen / off of the edge of the world / into the dragon's mouth.
— Lucille Clifton