Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Jason sat with his legs crossed on Amata's bedroom floor. She had a large grin on her face, and kept glancing at Jason while she drew a picture. "So tomorrow is the big day. Any thoughts of what you want?" She asked with a laugh
Jason eyed her suspiciously. "The only thing I want is Butch's stupid head to explode. Once I get my pip boy I'm just going to sleep through the rest of the day." He yawned and began tearing apart bits of thread on his jumpsuit.
Amata grabbed a pillow, and threw it at him. He fell flat on his back in a dramatic move. "I hope you aren't being serious. We gotta do something awesome. You only turn ten once. Do you really want to spend your birthday sleeping? She stood up, and grabbed his arm, pulling him to his feet. "C'mon lets go find Stanley, I think he short-circuited yesterday.
6 years later
"Thanks again for getting rid of those assholes for me. Amata stared at a bright blue bruise on Jason's cheek as he rubbed it.
He shrugged and dropped into a chair. "Doesn't matter now. How did you do on the goat?" I got maintenance.
Amata's eyes lit up with excitement. " I got shift manager, Brotch said I might be overseer soon. But I got something to celebrate." She reached under her mattress, and retrieved a half full bottle of vodka.
Jason stood up and grabbed the bottle from her. "Where the hell did you get this?" He asked while holding it up to the ceiling light.
"I stole it from the diner while no one was looking. And give it back I stole it so I drink some first." She grabbed the bottle back from Jason and took the lid off. Instantly the room began to fill with the stench of the alcohol. Amata held it tightly in her hands for a minute with a nervous expression on her face. "On second thought you go first."
"Alright but you better not chicken out. Remember when we found that bottle of buff out?"
"That was totally different and you know it. Hurry up and just drink.
Jason raised the bottle to his lips. Not knowing what to expect he took a large gulp of the liquid, and swallowed hastily. Instantly his throat felt as if it were on fire , and he began coughing furiously. Careful not to drop the bottle he held it out to Amata. "Ok your turn. Hurry up and drink some."
Amata began backing away from him. "Um no thanks it doesn't look that good anymore. You keep it."
"Hell no. I drunk some now it's your turn. No chickening out."
Amata took the bottle, and drank some of the liquid. She sat down, and began coughing. She handed the bottle back to Jason and the two kept drinking. After the bottle was finished Jason tried to stand, and ended up falling onto the bed next to a giggling Amata. He wrapped his arm around her while laughing histerically.
"You know my dad thinks we're dating. He gave me this huge speech about responsibility, and some other stuff.
Amata sat up on the bed, and looked at him amused. "Like what.?"
"About how how guys and girls have different parts. It was really boring."Jason stared at her for a while silently. "Can I kiss you?" As he asked the question a lump began to rise in his throat. Amata nodded slowly and closed her eyes. Jason leaned forward to kiss her. In a split second Amata began puking all over him.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Good to see a Fallout fan fiction on the site. However there are still people who have not played the game. Maybe you could do a little more character development. So far it has only been Lw and Amata. I also like the way you ended the chapter. Instead of including a full on sex scene you averted the situation to appeal to younger audiences. I can't tell you how annoying it is when a whole chapter is spent detailing a cliche sex scene. I would like to see some more adult oriented content, but don't feel rushed. Take your time and enjoy yourself. This is your story, you are in control.
Well...This certainly has the potential of being interesting. For what I see the first chapter is not bad, but we didn't understand almost anything about the characters (I would like to see more character development in the next bit). And that is pretty much everything I had to say except that I'm waiting for the next chapter.
(Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, If I made some)
Thank you for the review