Best Friend..yeah right

When we first met each other,
we were naive and very young.
The two of us were different, This doesn't feel quite right
but we always had fun. This throws off the rythm, it's a syllable short

Opposites attract
is what they all say.
I knew this was true
in every possible way.

I was shy and quiet,
She was bouncy and bright;
We put our trust in each other;
Allowing our hearts to take flight. You put a capital after this use of the semi colon but you didn't use capitals after using commas. It seems inconsistent

Every day we would laugh,
as we expressed who we were.
Together every day;
Time went by in a blur.

A billion different phone calls,
Knowing each other inside and out; This line is sweet, but it disrupts the rythm
Email after email
was all it was about. why was that all it was about? rearrange this so it makes more sense

We spent hour after hour
just talking about our day.
Letting all our laughter out
and letting good times replay.

Through these years something was missing,
and I wanted to know why.
Then it hit me as I wrote this--
We've never let each other cry. I really like this stanza, it's something people can relate to

We stayed away from our worries,
our cares and our stress,
And I wished we could have opened up
instead of making sad emotions suppress. That line seems a bit forced and doesn't sound quite right

She was so busy
with tons of activities and homework galore.
Barely any time to keep up with her friends,
So most of my emails she had to ignore.

She never made free time
to ever email me.
"That's fine," I thought,
and just let her be.

"She's too busy for me," I started to think,
"This is just not fair."
Every night I would wait for a reply,
but accepted the fact that she did not care.

Feelings that I was not important
made me think I was not enough.
Tired of being rejected
left my heart cold and tough.

Looking on at other friendships
made my anger run over like a flood.
"Why can't we be like we were in the past?" I would think.
Right then an arrow hit my heart, spewing out with blood. 'spewing out with blood' doesn't sound right. maybe you should rethink this

I longed for someone to talk to,
to feel everything I carried;
to make me feel loved
and to dig up all the hurt that I buried.

I wanted to call her,
so I picked up the phone.
But I knew if I cried,
she would probably just groan. you should take the word 'just' out

So I put it down quick,
and exploded in rage that I felt.
I had to blame my hurt on her and others
or else my soul would just melt.

She had no idea this was coming;
it took her by surprise.
So I thought she had never seen
what I hid behind my eyes.

My emotions are all out now,
I've said them loud and clear.
This only happened recently,
but I was filled with fear.

I feared she did not care for me
as she did so in the past.
I had loved her oh so much,
And thought this friendship would always last.

Now she swears,
and blames it all on me;
but if she could step in my shoes,
then she would see.

Still, memories can't erase her,
not after all these years.
And as I pray to God,
He has dried my many tears.

I liked this poem, it was so relatable. Don't mind my fussy nit-picking. It's a really good poem. Keep it up

When we first met each other,
we were naive and very young.
The two of us were different,
but we always had fun. <--Instead put "but we always had our fun"...it adds the needed extra syllables

Opposites attract
is what they all say.
I knew this was true
in every possible way. <--I feel like "possible" has too many syllables...try "ever single way" instead

I was shy and quiet,
She was bouncy and bright; <--You've been saying "we" so it would make more sense if you put "you were" here instead of "she was"
We put our trust in each other;
Allowing our hearts to take flight.

Every day we would laugh,
as we expressed who we were.
Together every day;
Time went by in a blur. I love this whole stanza!

A billion different phone calls,
Knowing each other inside and out;
Email after email
was all it was about. "was what it was all about" sounds better here

We spent hour after hour
just talking about our day.
Letting all our laughter out
and letting good times replay.

Through these years something was missing,
and I wanted to know why.
Then it hit me as I wrote this--
We've never let each other cry. I don't like the "we've" because it sounds forced...maybe just "we" instead? Also a very touching stanza...wonderful!

We stayed away from our worries,
our cares and our stress,
And I wished we could have opened up
instead of making sad emotions suppress.

She was so busy Once again you might want to do "you were" instead of "she was"
with tons of activities and homework galore.
Barely any time to keep up with her friends, "your friends"
So most of my emails she had to ignore.

She never made free time
to ever email me.
"That's fine," I thought,
and just let her be.

"She's too busy for me," I started to think,
"This is just not fair."
Every night I would wait for a reply,
but accepted the fact that she did not care.

Feelings that I was not important
made me think I was not enough.
Tired of being rejected
left my heart cold and tough. Augh! This touches me D: I know exactly the feeling...! Nice way to connect with readers!

Looking on at other friendships
made my anger run over like a flood.
"Why can't we be like we were in the past?" I would think.
Right then an arrow hit my heart, spewing out with blood.

I longed for someone to talk to,
to feel everything I carried;
to make me feel loved
and to dig up all the hurt that I buried. Like the stanza...but I don't like carried and buried...just doesn't go

I wanted to call her,
so I picked up the phone.
But I knew if I cried,
she would probably just groan.

So I put it down quick,
and exploded in rage that I felt.
I had to blame my hurt on her and others
or else my soul would just melt. Put in another syllable here, instead of "would just melt" try "would probably melt"

She had no idea this was coming;
it took her by surprise.
So I thought she had never seen
what I hid behind my eyes.

My emotions are all out now,
I've said them loud and clear.
This only happened recently,
but I was filled with fear. Love love love this part!

I feared she did not care for me
as she did so in the past.
I had loved her oh so much,
And thought this friendship would always last.

Now she swears,
and blames it all on me;
but if she could step in my shoes,
then she would see. I connected in this stanza too!

Still, memories can't erase her,
not after all these years.
And as I pray to God,
He has dried my many tears Wonderful ending!

I love all of this! It's really really brilliant, it truly is. I honestly connected emotionally to some of your stanzas because I know exactly what the poem is talking about...and it's very true that sort of thing *sucks* majorly...
All in all very very good! Keep on writing!!

changes
comments
Loved this line

When we first met each other,
we were naive and very young.
We were very different,this line sounded very awkward the way it was originally.
but we always had fun.

Opposites attract
is what they all say.
I knew this was true
in every possible way.

I was shy and quiet,
She was bouncy and bright;
We put our trust in each other;
Allowing our hearts to take flight.

Every day we would laugh,
as we expressed who we were.
Together all the time;
All anger left in a blur. What anger? If you're always laughing together, where does the anger come from?
I would suggest changing the last lines to:
Together every day,
Time became a blur.



A billion different phone calls,
Knowing each other inside and out;
Email after email
was all it was about.

We spent hour after hour
just talking about our day.
Letting all our troubles go
to a place far away.

Through these years something was missing,
and I wanted to know why.
Then it hit me as I wrote this--
We've never let each other cry.

We stayed away from our worries,
our cares and our stress,
Yet I've had such a hard time
recently in all my distress. Didn't like this line. It was a bit awkward and, well, "stress" and "distress" - basically rhyming stress with itself. I would recommend changing it .

She was so busy
with activities and homework galore.
Barely any time to keep up with her friends,
So most of my emails she had to ignore.

She hardly had free time
to ever email me.
"That's fine," I thought,
and just let her be.Get rid of this stanza. It's redundant considering the last one.

"She's too busy for me," I started to think,
"This is not fair." Rhythm is off here; lengthen this line or shorten the others.
Every night I would wait for a reply,
but accepted the fact that she did not care.

Feeling that I was not important
made me think I was not enough.
Tired of being rejected,
My heart turned cold and tough.

Looking on at other friendships
made my anger overflow.
"Why can't we be like we were in the past?" I would think.
Right then an arrow hit my heart, spewing out with blood. What happened here? You didn't even try to maintain rhyme or rhythm. Change, change. D:

I longed for someone to talk to,
to feel everything I carried;
to make me feel loved
and to dig up all the hurt I buried.

I wanted to call her,
so I picked up the phone.
But I knew if I cried,
she would probably just groan.

So I put it down quick,
and exploded in rage that I felt.
I had to blame my hurt on her and others
or else my soul would melt.

She had no idea this was coming,
it took her by surprise.
So I thought she had never seen
what I hid behind my eyes.

My emotions are all out now,
I've said them loud and clear.
This only happened recently,
but I was filled with fear.

I feared she did not care for me
as she did so in the past.
I had loved her oh so much,
And thought this friendship would last.

Now she swears,
and blames it all on me;
but if she could step in my shoes,
then she would see.

Still, memories can't erase her,
not after all these years.
And as I pray to God,
He has dried my many tears.

Pretty good job. I liked it for the most part. Keep writing!