Heartbreak; a question of how. Not if.

Wesh! Professor Jade here with a review. Since this is a short poem, I will go through it line by line to help improve your style. Let's just get to it, then.

Love is the one thing that will break your heart some say, therefore you do best to keep away.

This is pretty bittersweet, which I think is a big style trait of this poem. I think you should prefect the grammar but other that it's great. I liked how you say it as it is, and I respect that. I also like how you used italics, it gives it a down-to-earth yet whimsical feel.

But perhaps we are all born with a tiny crack in our heart that we don't feel that much from the start.

Maybe change it to two lines so it reads:

But perhaps we are all born with a tiny crack in our heart
that we don't feel that much from the start.

But that was a great line and I have nothing to say except: GRAMMAR!

Though the longer love is lacking our hearts just keep on cracking.

A great end to your poem and I applaud it!

-Professor Jade

i really liked this poem, it was short, sweet and straight to the point however it kind of actually made me wish the poem was longer. it's quite something that either with or without love the concept of our hearts breaking is going to happen regardless.

The format of the poem is nice as well, full of so many questions yet so many answers.

well done

Hey there MissDevonshire.

I was a bit surprised to see a poem this recent in the Green Room in the middle of Review Day.

One of the things that drew me into this piece was the formatting that you used. It seems that you have some nice poetry/prose going on here and I don't see that very often on YWS. These sentences are working together pretty nicely with how you have them arranged here and overall the piece is enticing.

The flow is a bit awkward when the readers hit the middle like and I think that's from starting it out with "but". The second line is having such a clear disconnect from the first line that it sort of distracts the reader. And it doesn't really seem like the inclusion of "but" is necessary in conveying the thoughts in that line. That's something to consider when you look back over this section.

It took me a little bit to recognize that you had a rhyme scheme going on in this poem and it seems to be working well for you. The rhyme set in the first line sticks a little bit, which also hurts the flow as the reader is trying to jump into the piece. And an overall feeling when it comes to the rhyme scheme in this piece is how it feels so forced. One way to alleviate some of that might be lengthen the piece. if you make the scheme more established, it might start to combine better.

The only critique I really have for the last line is that it's a bit weak. It's still holding up the weight of the rest of the poem but it feels like you could do much better. You've established all of these big points in the first two lines and when we hit the final line it just drops off. My recommendation here is a revaluation of your imagery choices.

I think that's about all that I have. If you have any questions about this review or anything else, feel free to drop me a line.
Happy review day.
- Jack

Hi, I’m here to review! First off, I actually really liked this poem. It was simple and short, and although I wish it were a bit longer, I think it was effective with getting the point across.

I liked the idea that most people tell you to stay away from love so that you don’t get your heart broken, but in this poem, it told you that without love your heart breaks anyways. Like the title said, it’s a matter of how, not if. Speaking of your title, it drew me in, which is an important aspect to have in poetry. I loved your rhyme scheme and word choices.

The only real critique I have for this is I wish it was longer.

Anyways~ you should definitely write more poems because you could write some amazing ones! For real though, I actually liked this poem, I swear I’m not just saying that :3

Well that’ll be it from me.

-Alice