Published September 13, 2008
I`ve heard you saying
that I`m ugly
and that Im not really atractive
It makes me sad
that you have closed your eyes
so you don`t have
a chance to see
the person I am inside
Look inside of me
and you will see
that every person`s
beauty is really
in her soul and heart
Although outside I
may be ugly ducklin
inside I may be a person sparklin
and the sun is always shinin above me
Look inside of me
and you will see
that every persons beauty
is really in her soul and heart
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141,438 Literary Works • 674,416 Reviews
I think this is how most people feel they want people to see the amazing tragic stories with in themselves and they want the person the show it to, to be wonderful to them
This is a moving and heartfelt poem because it happens to every girl where they feel like everyone is judging them based on what they look like, and every girl feels those feelings of insecurity. It's obviously an inspired poem.
However, this poem holds no real rhythm or rhyme. While it's clear you tried, some things need to be changed. I would definitely keep working on this piece - it's really great!!
Keep up the good work!
-KK
its true and i will use the old phrase...dont judge a book by its cover. this is really nice and has a clear message
good work
as was with ur other poem i recently read, i think you are really lacking in punctuation. without it, the reader reads through so quickly that things cant really be taken in as well and sometimes dont make sense.
secondly, in your first verse, i think it may be an idea to edit it a bit becuase unnatractive and ugly are the same thing. just a thought.
spelling error-in the 4th verse you spelt although wrong. it should be as i spelt it.
those are just a few points that i think may help you
otherwise, good work