Published October 18, 2008
The Ethereal Light;
Golden Rays pouring from the Heavens
Piercing pale blue skin
Angel standing beside me
a lonely out cast
A soul lost crying
heart beating fast
I was on the brink
breath inhaling
Lips fluctuating pink
eyes now opening
Colour reappearing
life regaining
I heard a Voice
saw the Light
But here I am
Aive and well
My soul in sight
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140,820 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Thank you!
I have Not been on here much i kinda took a Leave of Absence as you may have noticed with my Inactivity of Late!
lol
um I have tried very hard to catch up on my writing and further better myself
as others have kindly suggested!
It is hard for me as english is not my native tongue!
and i do struggle to recall such and such
especially with structure and Grammaticalisation!
Points well observed i may add!
Anyhow I may get back into the swing of things being the "new year" and all
Thanks again!
well it was good and needs no editing
gud job and u chose a great topic to write abt too.
I liked it alot. But i have this thing for the really dragged out spacing-it irks me. i said this to a person earlier tonight, but please, don't take it personally, but do take it for face value-the extra lines in between make it seem like you wanted to stretch it out as long as possible, like u needed extra lenght but were too lazi to write more. pleeze just fix the spacing. loved the rest of it.. gold stars!!
Oh No! thanks Carly
Appreciate your reply
Anyone else?
lol
Is this the poem you told me about?
)
I don't know a lot about poetry, I write mostly fictional stuff but I'll still review this for you!
I'm pretty sure I understand everything that happened and I thought it was really well-written. I like that last line, I don't think you need to change it at all.
I liked the descriptions you used and just the whole topic too.
Gold star for you!
(sorry if my review wasn't that helpful
-Carly
by Rascal;
very nice! What was your inspiration? Personal? Please, continue.
by *VAMPTAS;
Your heart and soul, I would say.
To write this verse in this way,
A Beautiful, tribute,
Much understood.
I too, on the Brink,
But will not allow,
Myself to sink.
by AMY G ;
There is beauty in your words, and bittersweet joy. I have been on deaths bed and beside it, and there is joy in returning from there and there is also a sorrowful sweetness in entering Paradise. I love the lines " Golden rays pouring from the Heavens Piercing pale blue skin". Very vivid and moving. Thank you.
Okay So I got pretty GOOD reviews on another site BUT what DO YOU guys think
hm?
should I update the poem? like change that last Line "My soul in sight"? i don't feel like it fits there
but we shall see ..