Young Writers Society

MirrorOfTheSun,

I like this poem! Though simple, I can understand your feelings in all their complexities. My only note is that repetition in poems is fine, but sometimes too much can confuse the reader. The formatting is a stylistic choice that isn't my cup of tea but that kind of thing is completely up to the writer.

I'd also advise that some readers aren't as well-versed in biology. For example, I had no idea what a "pericardium" is (which is technically on me), but there was an opportunity for more prose explaining what the pericardium is.

Overall, a good poem!

LCP

'Ello there!

Heart– do you understand what I mean by heart?

As the pericardial fluid do.

Cuz it didn't enter the inner heart

Wow.

I’m really impressed with your word choice, that is super intriguing and intricate to read! “By heart...do you know what I mean?” That was a very beautiful line that isn’t often seen in poetry which is really what sets this poem apart! Keep up the stupendous work <3

Hello. Welcome to YWS. Hope you have a greqt time here. It's actually a vwry good site.

Now, review.
It was awesomw, especially for the first time. It was falwless and heart-touching. I liked it. It is really relatable. It happens many a times. I don't know why.

Whatever, keep writing. Bye for now.

Great job, especially for a first time! <3

Hey there! Maple Way here with a short review!!

This was a cool concept! It was very relatable too! I have many times had a great idea for a poem but refuse to write it down and later forget it. I liked how you give the poem magical attributes. It was as if it was really alive and all you need to do is catch it in your trusty poem net! Anyways great poem! Welcome to YWS! And congrats on making the literary spotlight!