The Ocean and The Shore

Hey I'm here for a review! (I used to be AliceAfternoon)

Anyway onto this poem! Firstly, the grammar:

Some people are like the Ocean,
They're Calm and Beautiful,
But Deep and Dark,
And Mysterious,
And Unknown.
Some people are like the Shore,
They're Fun and Exciting,
And Fast and Thrilling,
And Never Ending,
But Reliable.
Some People are Like the Ocean,
They're Strong and Scary,
And Dangerous and Traumatizing,
And Hidden,
But Alluring.
Some People Are Like the Shore,
They're Solitary and Empty,
And Lonely,
And Ever-changing,
But No Matter How Much the Shore Changes,
It Always Knows That the Ocean Will Come Back,
And, Although, It May Not Be the Same Ocean or the Same Shore, or ; (I think I'm not very good with semi colons)
The Tide Still Comes In and the Shore Still Waits For It.

I feel like the bold and italicized words doesn't really do much for the poem and quote frankly I just really don't like it. I actually used to write like this, though. My first poem ever (the worst thing ever, by the way) had a lot of bold words. Back then a lot of people told me how great it was and looked but honestly I don't know what anyone is thinking. I believe, no poet should rely on bolding and italics to draw attention to certain words. Also you capitalized certain words too. I feel like your poem looks like of like a mess. The actual words of the poem are good but the way it looks written out just looks...overwhelming to the reader. You also used "and" a lot in the poem and I just recommend trying not to repeat words in a poem. "Never ending" like the shore, but shores do end... You explained how "some people are like the ocean" twice (same for shore) and there are very different each time you explain them...? I actually really...just please don't capitalize every word of a sentence "But No Matter How Much the Shore Changes" please.

marmalade

The grammar is weak here. But the idea and plot set is quite creative. Usage of 'their' is not appropriate and the blankness of this poem doesn't hit at the right spot. But tbh you are a great thinker. Best wishes.

King here

Hello there! Your work is adorable and sweet, using simple things to tell us about the different types of humans that appear in our lives. The messege is very good but I think that the thing that is the wall in between the beautiful potential of this work and the reader who is wanting to read it is the wrong use of capitalization and also the bold parts, same for italics.

I like the use of italics to make some words or phrases pop around the average looking background but whatever you use, you need to use it when it is actually needed. The same for everything else. You can not use only one word or only one mark in each line, this makes it look plain and also you lose the meaning or the word like that. It is not eye catching anymore because the reader sees it as part of the background, used all the time, not only when it is a special part in the work.


I like that you show how people actually are; not all same and boring, but all different with very interesting features that always change as they grow. It shows the human nature perfectly and how we function. Maybe you should bold/italic only the words such as 'ocean' and 'shore' which are more important in the work.

Their Fun and Exciting

Their Strong and Scary

Well written. Could be better if you can make it rhyme. The basic look of the poem is a little messy, maybe you can try correct capitalization, and prevent excessive use of italics and bolds. And yes, I do like it.

Hello.

First things first, grammar! A lot of uses of "their" here feel wrong— "their" is possessive, meaning whenever you use it, you're saying "their quality which they own". While that makes some sense in the context you have, it feels you were trying to go for "they're", which is the contraction of "they are" and means they, well, are the qualities you list.

Next up, your capitalization. I figure you were trying to draw attention to the qualities and the poem itself, but when you capitalize the first letter of nearly every word, then there's no emphasis anywhere. You get over this with the bolding and italics, but in the end they make the poem look a little messy.

The topic of the poem itself is cute. You picked a really good metaphor to show how people grow apart, change, come back, and compliment each other. I really like the general concepts even if they're rather simplistically presented— this is a metaphor you can play with a lot in the future as you grow and change as a poet (much like the poem itself.)

It's just really hard to get a good idea of what the poem's about from the grammar and capitalization. If you polish that up, then you'll have a really strong piece to be super proud of.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions or comments.

~Rosey