E - Everyone

The Duck Warrior Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Duck Warrior doused his fire, cleaned up his camp, and looked at the view in front of him. The vast plains of Featheria stretched for miles, with a few forests dotting the landscape. The sea was a barely visible from up on mount Herman. Quackstone sat in the middle of it all, the tall towers jutting out of the flat landscape. A few other towns were barely visible.

Duck warrior had his luggage in a bag tied to his back. He jumped off a log he had been stand­ing on, and flew into the air. His powerful wing muscles flapped quickly, and he was soon flying above the trees. He headed down the side of the mountain. Trees and rocks whizzed by, and the ground tore past him at a blinding speed. The wind flew into his face, and was a relief from the hot ground below where there was almost no breeze.

The reason he was flying off the mountain, where he had been living for a year was because he needed some food. He usually had enough to live on the mountain longer, some times as many as three years. But this summer was hotter than normal, and plants hadn’t grown as well.

So Duck Warrior flew to Quackstone. It took him two hours, and he was a little tired from the constant flapping, although if needs be, he could fly for over four hours straight, with­out stopping at all. He was sighted by the weasel and duck guards on the wall before he reached them. By the time he landed on the wall, a crowd had gathered. Everyone knew it was Duck Warrior.

His long sword on his back, and his tunic which was different than any other creatures, showed that he was Duck Warrior. His tunic was yellow and orange, with an armed duck holding a sword and shield. No duck or weasel was allowed to wear anything like it, unless they were able to fight as good as the Duck Warrior.

The king and queen were on the wall with three guards. Two of them, weasels, were quite nervous, but being seasoned veterans, they showed nothing but gladness. The king smiled as he spoke to the Duck Warrior.

“Duck Warrior, how good of you to visit. We haven’t seen you in nearly a year.”

The Duck Warrior smiled back, and spoke in a strong clear voice. “Your majesty.” He bowed. “Plants have not been growing as well on the mountain this year because of the less-than-average rainfall. I am here to buy some food, and some other necessities.”

“Well, please accept my invitation to dine with me this evening.” The king pointed towards the great hall. “We haven’t had a guest for quite some time. Everyone is invited to the great hall for a meal!”

The crowd cheered, for all liked a good dinner in the great hall with plenty of drinks and musicians, talented jugglers, and stupid jesters.

The Duck Warrior smiled. “How can I decline an invitation like that?”

“Good, then it is all settled. I’ll have a guard lead you to a room where you can wash, and by the time you have bought everything you need, the meal will be ready.”

The Duck Warrior bowed to the king. Then a duck guard led him down to the servants’ rooms. There was a big tub, which the Duck Warrior washed in. Then he went to the out­side, where the bustle of activity was at an even higher frenzy than usual. As soon as the Duck Warrior was out of the building vendors flocked to him, each yelling for him to buy their goods. They lowered their prices so much, when Duck Warrior figured out what to do.

“Please, please stop this. I have a solution that will benefit everyone. I need several differ­ent types of fruit, so all the fruit vendors stay here, and all you others, please step back, I will get to you shortly.” The vendors did so, and the Duck Warrior continued. “Now, I see there are five fruit salesducks and weasels. That makes thing easy. I will name a fruit and one of you will sell me that kind. Then I will name the second fruit, and the second salesduck will sell that fruit to me, and so on. Does everyone understand?” Everyone nod­ded. “Good. I need apples.” One of the salesducks raised his wing. Duck Warrior chose twenty apples, and called for the next fruit.

Soon he had enough fruit, and he started with the other vendors. At last, he had bought every­thing he needed, and everyone was satisfied with their sales. The crowd dispersed, each creature going to their home to get ready for the meal in the great hall. A Weasel guard led the Duck Warrior to the same servants’ quarters as earlier, and let the duck wash his wings, and then led him to the great hall.

From the moment the door opened the Duck Warrior had a wonderful time. The whole cas­tle was in the room. For such short notice the cooks had an abundance of food. Meat pies, soups, breads, pies, cordials, ciders, and more. The entertainment consisted of musicians who played hero ballads, folk songs for dancing, soft lullabies, and quitter songs as a back­ground sound. Jugglers performed, jesters did their funny things, and the whole time good conversation was heard.

At the end of it all, past midnight, the Duck Warrior was worn out.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” asked the king as he and the Duck Warrior talked on their way to the outside, where the king, queen, and the Duck Warrior were headed to get some fresh air.

“Oh yes. You host a wonderful banquet, your Majesty.”

“Well, I leave the organizing to my wife and her attendants.” He wrapped his wing around the queen.

“And a good thing he does.” The queen spoke in a quiet clear voice. She chuckled. “He may be a good army commander, but when it comes to banquets, well, let’s just say I do the organiz­ing better.”

They all laughed. The Duck Warrior opened a door to the outside. A cool summer breeze was blowing and it refreshed them all after several hours of being in the great hall with so much activity.

“You must enjoy living up on that mountain” the queen said. “So much fresh air and quiet time to think.”

“Yes, it does me good. A night or two of this castle life is fine for me, but after that I just get itching to go up the mountain and have some rest.”

“William,” that was the king’s name. “He tries to go on a vacation away from the castle a few times a year. He knows how much I enjoy it.”

“But of course we can never be gone too long.” The king added. “Things can go wrong, and with me here the inhabitants are calmer, and less prone to panic.”

“Please come up and visit me next time you do go on a vacation.” Invited the Duck Warrior. “It would be my honor.”

“We will do that.” Replied the queen. “I think it is time to get to bed. Good night . . . Do you have another name other than the Duck Warrior? I don’t mean to be rude but Duck Warrior seems a little . . .” she paused trying to think of the right word. The Duck Warrior inter­rupted her thoughts.

“I understand. You would like to my real name. Not just my title. No trouble at all to tell you. The name is Andrew.”

“Well, good night Andrew. Will you be leaving in the morning?”

“Yes I will. Thank you for hospitality. It was a wonderful banquet you gave. I haven’t so much in quite some time.”

“No trouble at all. It’s an honor to host the greatest warrior in the world.”

“It certainly is. And come back whenever you want. Maybe you should make your visits more often.” The queen offered.

“I might just do that.”

Andrew bowed, and the king queen went back into the castle. A nearby guard, with previous orders walked up to Andrew.

“I will show you to your room for the night.”

“If you don’t mind, could you just tell me the way? I would like to stay out here a little longer.”

The guard nodded, and pointed. “Enter that door. At the first door on the right your bed­room awaits.”

“Thank you.”

The guard walked away, and climbed up on the walls, where he was on patrol. Andrew looked up at the starry night. He sighed and closed his eyes. In the stillness of the night he thought he heard somebody having a conversation. However it sounded like the creatures talking were not agreeing. Andrew shrugged, thinking it was probably just some random creatures, but he had a nagging feeling that he should try to hear what was being said. He had had this feeling before in his long warrior career.

He walked in the direction of the voices, and they led him to a dark alley between several houses. Two weasels stood in the shadows arguing. Andrew came as close as he dared, and listened.

“But Cole didn’t say to!”

“I don’t give a hoot for what Cole said. We can get rid of him now, and Cole probably will be happy for what we did.”

“Or he’ll be real angry and skin you for it! Either way, I don’t aim to be a part of it.” With that one of the weasels began to walk towards where Andrew was listening.

He quickly crept away. He went to his room a small but well-furnished room, with a big bed, red walls, a fancy carpet, a couch and chair, and a large oak dresser. A mirror rested on it and against the wall.

Andrew sat on the couch. He wasn’t sure what the things he had just heard meant, but he knew a few things. A weasel wanted to get rid of some creature, and the second thought that Cole, whoever that was, Andrew guessed animportant duck or weasel, would probably be angry with what the first weasel wanted to do. Except for the part of getting rid of a creature, it just sounded like and argument, but ‘getting rid of’ probably meant kill. That was the part that disturbed Andrew. He pondered over it for a while, but coming up with no solutions he went to bed.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Aravis10
Review

Hi! It's Aravis again! The thing that I liked most about this part was the change of perspective. Knowing both sides brings life to the story! Random question: Is the whole country like weasels and ducks?
I'll try not to repeat the stuff that the last reviewer said. But, a way that can seriously help to pick up all those little things is to read it out loud. I read all my stuff to my younger sister, because she begs me to, but it also helps figure out how to word things so that they are easily understood. Even famous authors do this!
Here are some random things I picked up.
-"The reason he was flying off the mountain, where he had been living for a year was because he needed some food."
-His long sword on his back, and his tunic which was different than any other creatures, showed that he was Duck Warrior.
-They lowered their prices so much, when Duck Warrior figured out what to do.
-William,” that was the king’s name. “He tries to go on a vacation away from the castle a few times a year. He knows how much I enjoy it.”
-You would like to my real name. Not just my title. No trouble at all to tell you.
-Andrew bowed, and the king queen went back into the castle.


Yep, those were boring, but I think important. But, besides that boring stuff, let's talk about descriptions. Well, I'll talk. :) I can see everything you are describing. But, there is so much more to experiencing an event than what you can see. There is what you can hear, smell, taste, touch, what the character is feeling. This is something I struggle with too. I get so caught up with how it looks I miss the things that really bring the reader in.
Well, that's it. Other than one question: Where is the next chapter?!

User avatar
lostthought
Review

Hey again! I only have one thing to nitpick this time. A slight mistake. It seems you have forgotten a space between two words.

~Andrew guessed animportant duck or weasel~
-I'm going to say ~animportant~ should be *an important* right?

Well that's all I saw to nitpick. Well, what I saw that wasn't taken anyhow.

Past the nitpickings, these ducks are quite silly, are they not? They have a warrior duck that likes his solitude in the mountains, and while Andrew hears a plot about someone being killed, all he does is go to bed. I bet that weasel is going to kill either the king and queen or the Duck Warrior.

You left off in a shroud of mystery. Now I want to continue reading about your, err, ducky adventures. The shopping probably left the Duck Warrior all drowsy. I mean, 20 apples? What's next? 50 bananas? Well, keep writing. I am anxious to see your next chapter!

~lost

I'd like to start by saying that this is a downright charming story. Even with darker happenings, the slightly silly names and sheer joy of the fact that it's about *ducks* really puts a smile on my face. That being said, there's a lot that could be improved, which is what I'm here for.
The first problem, which is really more of a minor hiccup, is the inconsistent capitalization of "Duck Warrior". At the beginning of the chapter, both words are capitalized, and in the very next sentence, only "Duck" is capitalized. To me, it seems like the sort of thing that would have both words capitalized, but whatever you decide on, keep it consistent.
The second problem is the fact that the title itself is a bit underdeveloped. What exactly does being the Duck Warrior entail? From the information I'm given in this story, it mostly consists of being offered lots of cheap food by vendors and being well-known. Does the Duck Warrior have any particular duties, or does he/she just stay up on the mountain until they need supplies, at which point they're given a bunch of mostly-free food? You're killing me here - I need details.
The rest of the problems are a lot more minor - stylistic weirdness, grammar hiccups, and little nitpicks. Nevertheless, I'm going to point them out for the sake of clarity.
"...although if needs be, he could fly for over four hours straight, with­out stopping at all." "Needs" should be corrected to "need," and I'd recommend changing this sentence to something that flows a bit more, such as "If need be, he could fly for over four hours without stopping."
"...unless they were able to fight as good as the Duck Warrior." "Good" should be changed to "well."
“We haven’t had a guest for quite some time. Everyone is invited to the great hall for a meal!” I can't help but wonder - if the rainfall has been so bad, how can the King afford to throw a feast every time a visitor shows up?
"They lowered their prices so much, when Duck Warrior figured out what to do." This sentence just does not flow at all. I'd suggest something that more clearly conveys the fact that they were lowering their prices so far that they'd lose profit on the sale, and the Duck Warrior felt guilty about it.
"...quitter songs..." this is probably my most nit-picky criticism, but it's spelled "quieter."
"...he thought he heard somebody having a conversation..." When phrased this way, "having a conversation" sounds a bit stilted and doesn't flow well at all. It should be "he heard two (or more) people having a conversation," or something along those lines, because except in very odd circumstances, one person can't have a conversation on their lonesome.
"He went to his room a small but well-furnished room..." this sentence reads as being just a bit too long, and I'd suggest (a) putting a comma between "room," and "a," as well as (b) finding a word that keeps you from putting "room" twice in the same sentence.
Beyond that, there's just about nothing that needs changing. As long as you keep minor errors from slipping through the cracks of your overbuilding, and have a close eye trained on your spelling, this story should continue to unfold brilliantly!



The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it.
— Sylvia Plath