Don't worry, I'm not about to praise this doorstop. But has anyone here ever heard of it? It's a series (only 2 books now) that was first (self)published when the author was 13, and now she's claiming that she is OMG THE WORLD'S YOUNGEST NOVELIST!!!!!one!!!!!111!apple!!!!!1!
1. Gloria Tesch (the author) self-published it, which anyone can do.
2. Nancy Yi Fan published Swordbird at 12. She may claim that Swordbird is only a novella, but a "novelist" can be defined as either a writer of novels or novellas. Just because a book as an 800-page brick doesn't mean it's good.
3. Even if she is the world's youngest novelist, or the youngest person to write a book that long, it doesn't mean it's good.
And it most certainly is not. Excerpt:
It was a difficult situation but the men in the camp stood closely together as one strong force and were ready to fight for their freedom and for their commanders Joey, Maya and Captain Goran.
“It is wonderful to see when the people in this camp believe in their leaders and commanders but it is more wonderful when the leaders believe in their people,” said Joey and continued, “maybe the time will come or has already come that we as leaders of this camp will pay a price to carry out our calling!”
“Bravo, Bravo, Bravissimo…” interrupted Gertrude, “most people think that we are the bad ones but basically we bring peace to the world. My two friends and I have agreed to make you an offer which you cannot reject.”
“And what is this diabolical offer?” asked Maya standing between Joey and General Goran.
“This is not a diabolic offer. It is an honest offer because we are ready, willing, able and we have also agreed that we will let your men go free.
They are all free to go home and they can take all their belongings and possessions with them and go back to their families.”
“You will let them go home?” Goran asked.
“Yes, they can go home… all of them. They do not have to fight our army of over ten thousand men which has your camp surrounded.”
The army of ten thousand also cheered when they heard that they had not to fight.
“Under one condition, of course, will we let them go free…
The condition is that Maya and Joey give their lives freely as human sacrifices in honor of our lord Abbadon the son of the great Apollyon.”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Gloria Tesch... now that's a name I never thought I'd hear again.
Because here we critique works and point out what's bad so the author can become a better writer. However, she wouldn't understand that and believe were bashing her stories for no reason.
That is incredibly sad. She obviously has determination to write that much; I'd like to see all of that fueled into becoming a better writer rather than inflating her own misguided ego by rejecting criticism.
Why not?
The Guinness World Record for youngest published author is something like five. Maybe younger.
Been flicking through her website. Looks really professional. Oh my god at the reviews, though.
Ended up finding my way to her Facebook page. You guys made my day.
To be honest, though, I feel more sorry for her than anything else. Her family and friends obviously keep on telling her how amazing she is, and it's reached the point where she really believes that her books are better than Harry Potter and Twilight (and even if you're a Twilight hater, you've still gotta admit that it's lightyears ahead of Maradonia). They've given her these delusions, and they're not letting her get rid of them.
No matter what the internet says, real people in real life will always be there to tell her that you're just jealous and petty, and that don't know what you're talking about.
She and her family have wasted loads of money printing these books, hiring an editor who obviously only has a vague grasp of the English language, and in the (actually rather impressive) marketig.
And it's all in vain, because they're never gonna get that money back. The only people who will ever buy her books will be friends, family, and idiots who are so impressed that they've 'met an author' that they buy all her books right away.
Although my sympathy is somewhat limited. I really wish she'd stop calling herself the 'world's young author', when she so clearly isn't, and people have pointed out to her that she isn't.
xD
Yes, she does suck pretty bad. And she plugs her ears and runs at the slightest critisim of her books, which I hate the most. She doesn't understand that was how the best authors got better. You know, she'd never be able to survive in YWS...
Blink, you should do that, and then post the transcript of your telephone conversation. XD
Claiming what, exactly?
Hehe, how did I miss this? Trust you, Sureal. =P
Well, yes. It's pretty bad. My friend at school is absolutely obsessed with her, in a kind of creepy way, and even bought a signed Maradonia. XD It's all good fun. We're contemplating phoning her and pretending to be a editors for The Times.
That's awesome. Where?
Blink's been engaging in an online war with her.