Dear Pops

Hi there Merish. Well I have to tell you that opening this poem up, I expected something else. Something witty or amusing. Initially I thought of Corn Pops (I hope that doesn't offend you). But this was so much better. It was filled with emotion, feeling and the whole nine. I felt like you really expressed yourself well here. As nice as it is to read a comedy, this was a refreshing read. My favorite line was the one where you talked about the highlight of your depression-. I also liked the last line-simple, but a strong ending. Well done.

Hi there

Wow. This was so beautiful and so touching!

You really got the emotion across, and made a very personal and amazing poem.

It is so powerful, especially the ending, where you wrote "Dear Pops" twice. It had a great effect.

I like that you used the name "Pops". Because the word itself seems positive, sweet and personal, and you make it the opposite throughout the poem, which have a great effect on the poem and made it very heartbreaking

The wording of the poem is great, the first line, I think is the greatest. It is beautifully written.

I wish you used a bit more imagery, you don't have alot, and what you have is slightly cliché. For example: "you took my heart, and tore it apart." I think the poem would be even greater if you changed it up a bit.

But overall, AMAZING piece. Well done. Just keep writing

Hi there Merish!

Overall, there's clearly a lot of emotion in this poem, but it could be expressed in a more interesting way. I do like the opening line "the highlight of my depression", but what followed is more like telling me what happened. It'd be interesting if there was more imagery: the fighting, him leaving, the speaker waiting for a phone call or a birthday card or something.

You always put
such aggression toward Ma.

You made me feel locked up in a bridle;

Good job! It takes an immense amount of courage to write someone so personal and allowing your heart to feel what it is rightly feeling. I love the "scattered" organization of the poem. It appropriately matches the felling or maybe the lifestyle lived! One waking moment at a time, awaiting for the Dad is fulfil your expectations even though he can never follow through. My only critique would be to change the ending. "I hate you" is probably extremely accurate! But playing the worlds up like "Dear Dad, I am not waiting for you anymore." Or "Dear Dad, You are no longer my farther". I wrote a poem about my dad and his impact on my life called "Don't Go". I would love your critique! I think you have a lot to offer!

Hello. Rebel here to review your poem.

This poem was very deep and emotional. You transferred your emotions in a lucid way; I could tell how you felt about Pops.

My main issue was the structure of the poem. The structure was very disorganized and erratic. In some areas, it was good for the poem, and in others, it wasn't. Here's how I would right the first stanza of the poem:

Growing up without you was the
highlight of my depression.

Overall, this was a nice poem! Keep writing!

This poem is really deep, and I can sense the emotions you put into it. And considering the emotions, I'll try to give the best advice I can while still respecting that.

My main comment is the way you organized the structure of your piece. It feels like, to me, you just hit the 'enter' key whenever you felt like you needed it, instead of when the poem needed it. This is especially evident in the sixth stanza, where it would have been more equal to put,

"I desired you,
I craved you."

However, considering the nature of the poem it could go either way. I understand that you're trying to get your emotions out and emotions are erratic and uneven.

Other than that, this truly was a really good poem! I could practically feel your emotions as you wrote it, and it was just such a good piece of poetry. Please keep writing!