*This is a true story and I wanted to share it with those who are also struggling with the loss of a best friend. Best friends can be anyone.
I wanted to share how it was for me to see my best friend become more and more sick and how it never really changed him. Unfortunately, while I don't have a verbal agreement from him to share this, being who he was I can confidently say that I don't think he would have minded me sharing this story*
I met him when I was eleven. A little girl going out to celebrate her birthday. When I saw him I knew he would be one of my best friends forever. He was small and quiet other than his brother next to him who was loud and obnoxious. Naturally, I tended to like those who are quieter like me. He was very shy at first and it took months of never giving up and continuously saying “hi” to finally earn his trust to where he wouldn’t run away from me, but actually stay where he was and hang out. He enjoyed being around me. We each had found someone to be a friend.
He didn’t really ever say much, but he was a really good listener. I knew I could trust him with a secret, so every day I talk to him and no matter what day or what time it was, he would always be there to listen to me. He would listen to me talk normally and cry. He would be there to listen to me be frustrated and happy.
He was strange sometimes. His favorite thing to do was eat. He liked to run as well. He loved fruit more than anything. I don't think I ever saw him not like one fruit that he tried. But he wouldn’t eat too loud where he couldn’t hear me. He would just sit there and enjoy his salad or snacks as he listened. He would always run when we were outside. Not to run away from me, but to just get his energy out. He probably thought it was the most hilarious thing ever when I ran after him.
He had the simplest hairstyle that he let me put into a mohawk sometimes. He didn’t really like it when I did it, but he let me do it anyway without arguing or leaving. And he’d leave the hairstyle there too. Maybe not for too long though. Before I knew it he had undone it and put it back to his usual unkempt style.
He was there when I entered high school and was there when I got my first job. Honestly, I don't know what I would have done without him to be there and help comfort me and listen to my struggles throughout school and becoming a young adult.
But then the summer of 2021 came. I was going to be out of reach during June for less than a week while I went on a vacation with my family but in exchange, I made sure to give him extra snacks to keep him happy until I came back. He grudgingly agreed with the deal and I knew he would be there when I got back. He always wanted to be there when I came back. He wanted to always be one of the first to greet me. When I got back I immediately was greeted by him when I went to see how he was doing. At first, I didn’t notice it but within two weeks I would.
He was losing weight. He tried to hide it from me but it was clearly obvious. My best friend was sick and there was nothing I could do for him. I never knew if he had cancer because he never found out himself, but cancer or not he was really really sick. The only thing I could do was visit him with every spare moment I had. But even when he was sick and getting worse every day, he never stopped listening and never didn’t have the energy to come and run over to me, say hi, and hang out. He always had the time to listen, watch tv with me, share a snack with me, and just be there.
I would sit there with him and try not to cry because he was getting so thin. Even with as much as he ate and loved to eat, it didn’t do anything for him. I gave him flowers which he enjoyed but it wouldn’t help him get better. I tried to be brave. I tried to be okay with that one day very soon he wouldn’t be there. And it hurt. It hurt a lot. I would see him and then leave only to immediately go to a bathroom and turn on the shower to hide the sound of my muffled cries and say I had gotten soap in my eyes when I left the bathroom with my eyes red.
But for whatever reason he himself never seemed bothered that he was sick. He just kept on being happy. I think he did it for everyone he cared about. He didn't want to show his pain. He wanted to spread his happiness.
Then one day I said goodbye to him before I left to work. If only I had known the reason why he didn’t leave immediately when I left, but stood there watching as I went down the flight of stairs. I used to work with my mom and I wasn’t old enough to stay and close the store with her so my dad picked me up. When I went to leave my mom called me over and hugged me. She said goodbye and she would see me soon. But why was she sad?
The drive back home was only five minutes but there was silence which only seemed louder. Why did my dad seem sad?
When I went to start a conversation with my dad he slowly cut me off and told me that my best friend had died while I was at work. One of my siblings had gone over to see how he was doing and found out that he had died in his sleep.
It felt like someone had stopped my heart and had taken the air out of my lungs. I didn’t believe him. I didn’t believe that my best friend would die without me there by his side. I didn’t believe him until I saw him for myself. I really wish I had just believed him and hadn’t seen him myself because that wasn’t a memory I wanted to remember him by.
My best friend was my six-year-old guinea pig. My first pet who I loved for every second of his life. His name was Cookie. I knew he died peacefully in his sleep. He died on the night of July 2nd, 2021. He was buried the next morning next to our dog’s kennel because the two were best friends. You’d think the dog would hurt him but instead, he proudly protected him.
Coming that it’s about to be the third year without him, I thought maybe I would share this story. Cookie was my best friend and will always have a place in my heart and I will never forget him.
Animal or human, anyone can be our best friend and have a special place in our hearts.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
I know this is short and it doesn't compare to the length of grief I've been in even after three years, but please understand that this was very difficult for me to write, but even in the difficulty, I'm glad I was able to write this
-Mercedes Blue
This story is so sad. :'-( It's beautiful though.
I really like how the narrator is trying to care for her best friend. She's trying to do well, but she's not ready to handle a traumatizing event. She isn't even ready for her friend's death. She knows her friend is about to die, but she needs a better way of handling things. I believe that everyone has a "friend" they care about, whether it be a loved one, a sibling, a parent, or even their favorite restaurant. It's so sad to see everything so, but you're so attached to it that you won't forget about it and it still lives on in your heart.
I like the prose in this story. It's short and simple, but not too simple. It keeps you hooked enough to realize that maybe it isn't so bad after all. Maybe you'll get better. Perhaps you'll find a new friend you care about, as long as it doesn't die and you have to start all over again. The prose gives you enough energy to keep you satisfied throughout the whole thing, and shows iht its simple language that with enough love, you'll find out about yourself and realize no matter how hard it seems, things will get better.
I like how the writer perfectly convey the feelings of the narrator even without much dialogue. The key lies in the narration. The narration is th voice that leads the reader to the story; it helps the understand what is going on even if no one is there to relate you to it. A good narrator doesn't tell instead of show or fawn over their favorite character; they provid the inner link between the reader and the full story. I believe a good first-person narrator has the ability to convey emotions better than a third-person.
I feel this story doesn't need any improvements; it's fine as it is. It's good to represent the feelings of someone when they've lost their favorite friend, show, you name it. I feel you could tell this to anyone and they'll cry because it relates so much to a terrible and life-changing event that happened in their life, especially at a young age.
Overall, this poem perfectly gives the feelings to someone who lost their family, friend, or other important thing that mattered to them. 5/5
I actually teared up, XD. This really reminded me of my two pets, mouse Kishi, and hamster Rosy.
I don't know if I ever told you this story, but I had a very similar experience with how I figured out that Kishi was dead. I had to deliver a speech the evening she died. I noticed that Kishi was lying around a whole lot. Previously, she had been sneezing blood and had lost some of the fur on the left side of her face. I knew the end was close, and I knew that she may not be there for me when I came home, but I had to go. I asked my little brother to watch my mouse and tell me if she moved at all while I was gone. I delivered the speech and came home late. The lights were off, and everyone but those who had gone with me to the speech contest were in bed. There was a note on the table. I still remember what it said. "Your mouse moved, but it's now dead." My brother had written it. I ran to the back of the house where I kept my mouse's cage. There she lay stiff. Her legs had lost their color. She was obviously dead, and I would be spending the night without her. I was lucky enough to fall asleep despite my grief. But I dreamed that she was still breathing and in desperate need of me. The dream replayed at least twice...but she was gone...and I would never live to see her round one more of her endless circles. I still miss her...I can still remember massaging her neck. I still remember the touch of her fur. I still remember the time she swam to be with her sister (my sister's mouse) on the other side of a little puddle. I don't really know how all these memories are possible...She died in 2020.
Spoiler
I obviously got really emotionally attached to that squeezy little mouse, but I had just as equally a hard time when it came to Rosy. She was fully bald, half-blind, and wrinkly all over when she got close to her final moments. She honestly looked horrible, but I loved her and still thought her to be the most beautiful pet ever. I knew it was her final day that morning. I won't go into the details...most people would find them repulsive, but I knew it. I tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible. I tried to get her to eat, but she couldn't chew. I gave her some peanut butter, because that would be easier for her to eat. She still hobbled around, but I could tell it was getting really hard for her. But she didn't seem to care. She still climbed all the way up to the top of her cage to be close to me. That night, I knew the end had come. She was so bald, and I worried she'd get cold over night. I put a little cloth over her. In the morning she was peacefully lying on it. She had left me in her sleep. I buried her with the cloth covering her beside Kishi. Why do such little things have such short lives? It's like the moment you really start to love them they die...
Okay, I better stop now. I just wanted to share those stories so you know that you aren't the only one missing a best friend.
You're writing here was fantastic, honestly. You really drew emotion and sympathy out of the words you chose. This is really impressive. I know it was hard for you to write this...but sharing the true stories of your life is where the best of your writing is going to come from...from the joy, happiness, sorrow, and emptiness you feel. The more you put yourself into your writing, the better it will be. I'm honestly really impressed with this piece. I don't think I'm ever going to forget it. I'm really sorry you had to say goodbye to Cookie after he was already gone, but in his lifetime, Cookie always wanted you to be happy. Why would he want you to be sad right now?
The only real critiques I have for this piece is the comma issues. Like, whenever you had a sentence where you joined two full sentences with a conjunction (and, but, or, etc) you sometimes forgot to put the period in between them. But I was really so focused on the emotion of this story that I kinda forgot about grammar, so sorry if this review is a little all over the place.
-Kaia
In your story you perfectly expressed feelings of grief and sadness. I love how you led the reader to think your best friend was human than showed that your best friend was your guinea pig. Something else I liked about your story is the message that you send and how you put it out there.
I really enjoyed your story and I'm sorry for your loss.
~Ellie <3 <3 <3
Hi! Thank you!
-Mercedes Blue
Reading this obviously can't compare to the actual feeling of loss, but you do a great job conveying your feelings here - both how you felt about your best friend while he was alive as well as when dealing with his death. I've had similar experiences and my grief manifested in similar ways as yours, and so you providing so much detail allows me to relate to and understand your feelings more. Additionally, not revealing that your best friend was an animal until later on helps deliver the point that the connections we form with animals can be just as deep as with other humans. Overall this was an emotional read and I hope you continue to do well without him <3
Hi!
Not it can't but I felt like writing about it would help. It did. Not because I was able to put it out there but just being able to sit down and write about him.
I'm glad you are able to relate. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you!
-Mercedes Blue
Hey Mercedes,
First off, I'm very sorry for your loss and my sympathies for the loss of your friend - losing pets can definitely be hard.
I really liked how you phrased your author's note at the beginning - it was a good set-up for the read, and I think was important context for the reader that this was a true story rather than just a metaphor. Sometimes it's good for literary works to clarify that - and I think this is a good instance of that.
There's some issue with tense here - "I knew I could trust him with a secret, so every day I talk to him and no matter what day or what time it was, he would always be there to listen to me. " (talk should be "talked")
This sentence to me seems a tad like a run-on, "Honestly, I don't know what I would have done without him to be there and help comfort me and listen to my struggles throughout school and becoming a young adult."
^ Great showing growth in the friendship and the speaker both and the showing of time passing subtly too.
I think I'd break up this sentence too:
Good usage of repetition here to show the intensity of emotion and experience.
You have a good mix of narrative descriptions of what's happening and descriptions of how it made you feel as a speaker - which is a really important balance in these non-fiction pieces I think.
I thought your reveal moment about it being about your guinea pig was very well done - you suspended the secret that it was about a pet until near the end, and it did I think evoke extra sympathy and meaning from the piece without being gimmicky.
Overall I think that there are people who could benefit from reading such a piece - and understanding maybe a little more that grief over the loss of pets can be very painful and is valid. I think one critique I would give would be to eliminate the "smiley face emoticons" from the beginning and end as they make the piece much more informal, and I don't think really fit the tone of the piece so feel a little out of place to me.
I think you had good pacing in this and the story / narrative was very easy to follow all the way through.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I hope sharing Cookie's story brought you some closure too - he sounds like a wonderful and loving pet.
alliyah
Hi!
Thank you!
and thank you also for pointing out where the writing could use improvement!
-Mercedes Blue
A side note, whether animal or human, all grief is indeed valid and I know that this story will help a lot of people who are going through or who have struggled with the same thing. I hope this story gets more views!
Before my review, I must say my deepest condolences. I know it must have been really hard to deal with the loss of dear Cookie and I applaud how brave you are to share your story to anyone who struggled with the same emotion, anyone struggling with that emotion, or anyone who may potentially struggle with it in the future.
This won't be so much as a review, but it will be discussing the authenticity of the grief you have experienced. I'm not doubting its legitimacy. I'm simply showing that this is indeed, for me, a well-documented, well-written story about grief.
I know someone who has lost someone very special to them and until now they still terribly miss that person. They have gone through a similar experience as yours where sometimes the thought of the one they lost will bring tears to their eyes. Every single thing would remind them of the person they lost and they would recount all their memories with them. They would say, "Hey, ___ used to like this or that was ___ favorite song.
I also like how you didn't make it too obvious at first that the one you're talking about is a guinea pig. You did drop subtle notes like saying "Best friends can be anyone" and that the only thing he liked to eat was fruit. When I discovered he was a guinea pig, I felt a small stab in my heart. He must have brought you so much joy and love all his years, just like how pets do. It made me sad as well and that's an amazing thing a writer can do, make someone empathize with them even if they haven't necessarily gone through the same process.
Overall, this is a brave and beautiful recollection about your experience with Cookie. I'm sure that this writing would help you with processing more of your grief because I know it's not easy. Once again, I offer my condolences and I applaud your courage for sharing this with us.
This is alpacaboss, signing off.
Hi! Thank you so much!
I'm glad you were able to read this!
-Mercedes Blue