Yet another exam poem. I lost the original copy so basically I'm just typing out what I think I wrote. Dedicated to that guy behind me again who sang Focus by Ariana Grande a million times WHILE clicking his pen :D
Focus,
Come on,
Focus!
Focus.
Focus. Focus. Focus.
Oh look,
A butterfly!
I wonder if unicorns
Can poop rainbow?
Or perhaps...
A potato?
Wait...
Leprechauns!
That makes sense.
RIIIIING!
The bell signals my defeat
I bid my empty paper goodbye
Oh well,
I'll just focus next time
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I think, hey seriously, I really think you, brother, you are like an exam-poet! XD
I think I have a short review for you, let's get started!
I have to say, brilliant starting. I can picture my mum, asking me to be more focused. And, a different explanation can be this that, sometimes (Often) there are situations where one needs focusing and their inner selves forces them to do that yet focusing is hard!
This stanza is hilarious and extremely relatable! xD It shows how, in like less than a minute we can lose attention and start daydreaming! You see, (Warning: Mode Psychology is on! :3 ) it is said that,
"Attention means focusing on the material presented."
Now we have lots of things around us. But, do we pay heed to every of them? No. And, that's not even possible. So, there are some factors of attention, objective ones; like: size, intensity, mobility, repitition etc and subjective ones; like: emotion, experience, eagerness etc.
So, yeah, it's strange how we lose focus.
Yet another good ending. You know, your poems are adorable! The kiddish touch these have, I personally love them! So, good work here! I really am looking forward to reading more from you, mate! Have a great day now!~
Nire.
Thank you for this review brother! :3
Haha! I can relate to this very well. I'm not the type of person that can focus on a particular subject, something that I obviously need to fix. I enjoyed your poem, it was entertaining, and I can easily relate to this because I am in that particular situation. Though I think there are several aspects you can improve.
Honestly, if I didn't find this piece under the label poetry, I would just take it as a jumble of words put together. Maybe you should use more poetry elements (is that what it's called?) like rhymes and meters; maybe symbolism and metaphors. You can describe why and how your mind isn't focusing, how these images of "a butterfly," and these questions about "unicorns pooping rainbows" could suddenly pop into your mind.
Still, that's all still up to the writer, I'm only telling you what I think I enjoy. I'm still someone who believes that art is a subjective and relative matter, everyone has the freedom to interpret, and everyone has the freedom to enjoy it.
Overall, it was enjoyable and humorous. Keep writing! Focus on your exams!
Okay, thank you! I will do what you say. I agree too, it doesn't sound like a poem, does it? Thank you again for reviewing
Just an opinion. It's isn't an absolute thing, one can say it isn't, one can say it is; yet art is still art. I don't believe in absolutes when it comes to art, in this case, poetry
Hi MemoryHunter jessiebear hear.
I love the poem it has good riming in this poem and it is brilliant so well don. and I hope you keep on righting poems. and hope you have a good day/night.
Thank you Jessiebear :3
You are welcome MemoryHunter.
This was an awesome poem! In the way that it is random and doesn't make much sense, but at the same time gives off an overwhelming feel-gives it flavor. And yes, I felt this way during exams I totally understand where the muse is for this poem...Great Job!
Thank you! Though I feel it's too short and too underwritten. Well, that's the price of writing poems while taking an exam.
Poems can be short, long, fat, skinny, different shapes and sizes and all about different things...there is no wrong way to write a poem. I say keep writing!