Hey! Forever here with a review!!
Before I get into the review I would just like to say that I haven't read the previous chapters. So if I by any chance miss something very obvious, I apologize in advance. And now into the review. Also, I have no idea about the actual story of Batman.
This was a very interesting chapter to read. Even though I haven't read the previous chapters, it wasn't totally vague to me which I think is quite good because it gave the independence to a chapter. Not that important but I guess you forgot to categorise it under fanfiction.
First off with the beginning. No idea but it awkardly felt like a prologue to me. I guess it has something to do with the sudden shift of tense from past to present in the beginning. I actually think that there's a time gap between that and the rest of the chapter. Although you can argue, at least to me the time gap was not fully brought out only by the use of shift of tense. Maybe you could use asterisks or something between the present and past tense.
Another thing which I would like to add here is the vague nature of thefirst two sentences. We definitely get to know that he read somthing which made him very angry but we didn't get to know anything about what it was. I think this should be cleared on a bit. That was a case of intentional hiding from the readers and not the tactful hiding which is interesting to read.
Next we have the characters. Gordan seems to be an evil character or at least the kind of apparent antagonist and Joker, the protagonist. Gordan, I guess wants to take revenge on Batman and for that he is harming Joker. From the very little I know about Joker is a kind of supersane person and that is why it's very difficult to deal with him and predict him. And now he is at danger because of that particular thing. Well that's pretty sad. Now comes Bruce. I had a feeling that Bruce is not a very old character in the novel and has been introduced recently because you spent quite some amount of time in doing explicit character development of the person which is not generally done when a novel progresses a bit with one character. Just wanted to point out if you didn't mean it to be like that. Alfred now seems to be a devoted person and helps out Bruce without any selfishness.
The Joker situation has also gotten more complicated. This is how Bruce finds out about it:
Alfred enters the master bedroom with a breakfast tray—cucumber sandwiches and a glass of orange juice.
This portion was not the best portion if we talk about the flow of the story. It felt like a person is just accounting an incident or writing an essay on it rather than telling a story. Something should be done to remove those two colons. Rather than giving a summary, you could directly jump into Alfred bringing tea and then telling it to Bruce. It would be more natural in that way.
He rips it open, breaking the seal, and then unfolds the letter. On the upper end of the full white page are written these words:
“You placed your faith in me. I’m grateful for that. But I’ll never forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve done.
“I’ve studied you. I know what sort of a person you are. You’ll tell I’m not beyond redemption. But for what I’m about to do, I’m confident that even you will never forgive me. However, this is the only way I can make amends now—the only way to save Joker and this godforsaken city.”
Here, I don't think Bruce read teh whole thing out because Alfred didn't know about the contents of the letter. If so, I think it would be better to put the letter into a box or something rather than enclosing it within dialogue tags.
It's interesting why Alfred threw the letter without even reading it. That honestly wasn't the best move because maybe Alfred knew something which Bruce did not. Alfred could have helped Bruce out. That was a nice cliffhanger though. I wonder what Bruce is going to do next. And also, was the letter written by the person names Richard? I will get to the next chapter soon.
Keep Writing!!
~Forever
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