Man Trying To Take Picture Of Mirror To Put On Ebay Knows True Desperation
FADE TO:
INT. DIRTY KITCHEN - MORNING
Dirty kitchen is shown through the reflection of MIRROR. MAN enters shot and sits down. He is in a bathrobe and looks gross and tired. Man yawns and opens the computer. He is on eBay looking at a Sax-o-boom worth an absurd amount of money. He takes cash out of his bathrobe pocket and begins to count it out, looks annoyed, recounts it.
Man runs out of shot and comes back with a handful of coins. He throws them down on the table and counts them too, but now seems to become nervous. He gets up and looks through drawers frantically. Finding nothing, he glances around the room. We see various strange objects around the room. Including but not limited to: Ugly furniture, snorkel and mask, roll of twine, bucket of paint, dirty mirrors, fireworks, gilly suit, cat, ninja costume, and small indoor trampoline. His eyes lock on the Mirror the scene has been filmed through the reflection of. FOCUS SHIFTS, so we too are now looking at the Mirror.
He turns back to the computer. We hear VERY FAST TYPING. Show Screen. He is on a different page on eBay, showing the same Mirror he wants to buy. Beneath it is the price, it’s worth $200. He lets out an exclamation of excitement.
He walks over to the Mirror and pulls a smartphone out of his pocket. He quickly and, without paying much attention, takes a picture. SNAP. He smiles and holds up the phone to look at the picture. CAMERA MOVES CLOSER TO SCREEN.
It’s of his gross hairy legs, his shirtless stomach, and the bottom of his bathrobe and the cluttered kitchen. PERSPECTIVE CLICKS IN, so the picture takes up the entire frame.
OPENING TITLES
Man Vs. Mirror
FADE IN
INT. DIRTY LIVING ROOM
Man looks at the picture and sees that it’s of his gross legs, he is frustrated. He backs up and tries to get better shot, now he and his home are revealed in weird full glory.
CLOSE UP OF MAN
Man looking at his phone in frustration again.
CUT TO:
INT. REFLECTION OF DIRTY ROOM
Man nowhere to be seen. Man’s hand shoots out from behind a piece of furniture, and a picture is taken. The hand is brought back in. From behind the furniture, we hear the man make annoyed sounds.
MAN
*Annoyed sounds*
CUT TO:
INT. REFLECTION OF DIRTY ROOM
Hold a shot of the empty room shot again, this time for longer. Then the Man jumps out from behind a piece of furniture wearing a blanket like he hopes to surprise the mirror. This does not work.
CUT TO:
Man drags a chair into frame, places laptop computer on the chair, plugs computer in. Press to start the countdown to a picture. Man tries to run out of frame, trips over the chord, he falls out of the frame and so does the computer.
OFFSCREEN
Two CRUNCH’s
Music begins to swell and get faster.
Music begins to swell and get faster.
All following shots are tightly edited together, take place in the same dirty living room, and with the Man wearing an even more absurd outfit than before, and with a bloody paper towel in his nose.
CUT TO:
Shot A: Man is seen cleaning window with unnecessary emotion
CUT TO:
Shot B, Man is struggling to tie a string around the phone.
CUT TO:
Shot C: Man is setting up varies previously seen mirrors
CUT TO:
Back to Shot A: Man in the far background through the window trying to get a picture.
CUT TO:
Shot D: Man is trying unsuccessfully to tie a phone to his squirming cat
CUT TO:
Back to Shot B: Man successfully dangled the phone in front of the mirror, he looks excited, then the joy melts from his face as realizes he still has to click the button to take the picture. Desperate and deflated he taps the phone with his finger like it’s a hot pan.
CUT TO:
Shot F: He’s painting himself the color of the wall.
CUT TO:
Shot E He’s setting up an indoor trampoline next to it.
CUT TO:
Shot G: his body is contorted in a strange position to hold the phone in his barefoot.
CUT TO:
Back to shot C: He can see himself in many mirrors reflection, we see a disappointed look on his face through the dirty glass.
CUT TO:
Shot H: The room is dimly lit and everything is hard to make out, and then with the flash of a camera we see Man is wearing an all black Ninja suit and holding his phone.
CUT TO:
Back to shot Shot F: Man’s the color of the wall and he tries to take the picture but slips in paint
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP ON MAN'S FACE
Back to Shot E: We pause for a moment as he looks at the tramp, summoning his bravery. ZOOM OUT. He runs, jumps off the tramp, and past the mirror, leaving the frame with a CRASH. (maybe he is just jumping off a stool, will have to see while filming)
In all future scenes, Man will have a bloody paper towel up one nostril, his foot will be in a boot, and he’ll have paint on his face.
CUT TO:
INT. AT TABLE
Shot I: Man cutting out pieces of a newspaper.
CUT TO:
INT. IN BATHROOM
Shot J: Man putting on a gilly suit and looking in the bathroom mirror.
CUT TO:
EXT. NEXT TO POOL
Shot K: Man dramatically putting on goggles next to pool.
CUT TO:
EXT. DRIVEWAY
Shot L: Man lights a smoke bomb and burns himself. He shakes his burnt finger and stuck it in his mouth.
CUT TO:
EXT. FIELD
Shot R: Man frustratedly trying and failing to get the camera to look through a telescope at the faraway mirror.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK
Shot M: Man trying to get a picture through the hole in the newspaper with a phone - like a detective.
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS
Shot N: Man walking into the forest with mirror.
CUT TO:
EXT. WIDE SHOT OF WOODS
Man is far away mirror trying to climb a tree in a ghillie suit.
CUT TO:
EXT. AT LAKE
Man’s hand holding a phone and his snorkel stick out from the lake, the rest of Man is hidden by water.
CUT TO:
EXT. DRIVEWAY
Shot L: Man stepping through the smoke with phone.
CUT TO:
EXT. UNDERWATER IN POOL
Shot Q: Reflection of man is getting picture of the mirror while underwater.
The music swells to its greatest peak, and cuts are now so fast it’s almost hard to catch what's going on.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK
Back to Shot M: Man's newspaper getting blown away
CUT TO:
EXT. FIELD
Back to Shot R: The telescope falls off and breaks as Man fumbles with it.
CUT TO:
EXT. LAKE
Back to Shot O: Water goes in the snorkel, Man emerges from the water coughing and spluttering and spitting out water.
CUT TO:
INT. DIRTY LIVING ROOM
Back to C: The Dirty Mirrors fall and break.
CUT TO:
INT. DIRTY LIVING ROOM
Back to shot B: Phone falls off string and breaks.
CUT TO:
EXT. PLAYGROUND
Shot T: Man Swings past it and then falls
Music swells and then finds a place of calm
CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS
Shot N: Man in ghillie suit falling out of the tree.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE HOME NEXT TO ROAD
Man drags Mirror outside and leans it against a tree.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR
Man gets in a car and nods at the driver. ZOOM IN ON driver's hand, it dramatically shifts the car into drive. ZOOM IN ON the speedometer goes from 5-60 very quickly. Music begins to swell.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE HOME NEXT TO ROAD
Car rockets past the mirror with the window down, we momentarily see Man holding up his
Phone. We hear SQUEALING BREAKS and then a CRASH
FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. BEDROOM
Music calms
Man lying in bed, obviously very hurt, staring at the mirror with both longing and hate, still pointing his phone camera at it.
SMALL CHILD walks up to him, takes the camera, but lets Man keep a loose grip on it. Small child angles the phone in a different direction, so now man not in the reflection.
MAN
(in relief) Aaaah
Man takes a picture, and looks at it happily. As he looks at the picture, mirror wobbles, begins to fall.
CUT TO: BLACK
We hear a SHATTER
MAN (OFFSCREEN)
(angry) aaaaaaaahhh
BEGIN TITLES
Man VS Mirror Appears in white text on the black
Small pause
By Andrew Knorpp
Then the credits begin, the names appearing on all the pictures he took throughout the process.
Sorry if the notations a little off, I'm new to screenwriting and YWS word processor doesn't make it any easier! I'd love to hear if you think this is funny, if you think any of the joke beats don't work, are misplaced, or could be improved! Or any ideas for other funny ways he could try to get a picture of the mirror?
I plan to film this, and I'll need all the feedback I can get, thanks!
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138,700 Literary Works • 672,249 Reviews
Hello this is Foxmaster!!!🦊
A FEW THOUGHTS:
This was good! I only have a few questions:
What does INT. mean? Just curious!
Is the man broke? (He sounds like a hoarder)
Is this like a tv show?
Did you mean to make that part two times, or was it just an accident?
MOMENTS I LIKED:
Shot D: Man is trying unsuccessfully to tie a phone to his squirming cat
Shot F: He’s painting himself the color of the wall.
Shot G: his body is contorted in a strange position to hold the phone in his barefoot.
Shot H: The room is dimly lit and everything is hard to make out, and then with the flash of a camera we see Man is wearing an all black Ninja suit and holding his phone.
A QUESTION
I am also confused, what do you mean that the man is "Gross"?
OVERALL
This was really funny! The man sounds somewhat ridiculous, and the overall plot is really funny!
-Foxmaster!!!🦊
Hi Andrew! I’m writing this review on my phone, so please excuse any typos
And please feel free to ask any clarifying questions if my message gets lost in them. Let’s get into it!
This was a really entertaining piece! I think you did a great job setting up the premise of this man trying (and failing) to take a picture or this mirror without getting himself in the picture too. Alongside the absurdity of this premise, the man just continues to escalate the situation in a really humorous way, and I admire the creativity that went into it. It’s also great that you hint at some of the ideas the man comes up with by mentioning those items at the very beginning, so it sounds familiar when they come up later.
A potential critique is that you could add a few more descriptions, particularly about the man and the mirror. I get that as a screenplay, descriptions aren’t necessary since the purpose is to script out the actions of and props surrounding the character, but with such an prominent character and item, it could be a bit more useful. What does “gross” mean? Is he disheveled like he hasn’t showered that morning? Just gotten out of bed? Or does it look more habitual, like it’s been several days without changing clothes? Does he match the room in lack of cleanliness? And how about the mirror? Is it big and ornate, or made of gold?
The other thing that I might suggest is to make hints towards the kid earlier in the script. Everything else is set up fairly well, so it doesn’t feel out of place, even when things get increasingly absurd. But we don’t see any mention of him having a kid, not that I recall. I think it would heighten the irony at the end if maybe the kid was at the edge of a few shots, or we saw hints like toys strewn about. It could even interfere in a few attempts! And then at the end it feels like this option has been there the whole time.
Otherwise, this was a really entertaining read! Thanks for sharing ^^ Happy writing!
~ Wolfe
Hi MaybeAndrew,
Mailice here with a short review!
A very interesting script you have written. It presents an engaging variation on a problem that I'm sure several people have experienced (not to this extreme, of course). The first thing that caught my eye right away is your formatting. I like the way you set it up and how the structure made the script easy to read. It helps a lot to visualise how you envisioned it.
I also like how little dialogue the actual script has. Away from the man's short exclamations, I think this gives the script a very narrative aftertaste and makes it feel a bit like a short slap-stick comedy or a short film of five minutes that you can show around the world based on the script without worrying about possible translation. In other words, a short video for the whole world.
Something that struck me was your description. At the beginning it is very detailed and you can already imagine a lot, but later it becomes less and less. There is very little mention of what something looks like, and you actually have to imagine what it looks like based on the word. I would, even if the scene is extremely short, add some sentences about what there is to see, so that you can build up a familiarity as a reader / viewer, as it can come to that some objects add to the importance of the plot.
In general, however, I find it very well written and presented. I didn't find anything that was particularly absurd or grammatically questionable. As I said, the structure makes for a logical presentation and makes it easier for readers who don't often read scripts to imagine it.
You have written an amusing story where the protagonist unfortunately falls from one funny situation to the next, or for himself, probably from one misfortune to the next. I liked it, especially because it was so strange and yet funny.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
Hiya, mint here with a review! ^-^ So I definitely found this funny, although I did feel rather bad for the poor guy when the mirror breaks at the end and all his hard work goes to waste xD But anyways, I’d encourage you to film it~ I think it’d be good! (Just make sure to film safely, of course :P) C: Anyways, here are some more specific thoughts…
Firstly, it was a bit confusing to read how the script jumps around to all these different ways the man tries to take a picture of the mirror, especially the shots that are continuations of previous ones, but I think it’ll make more sense once you film it! Ah but thanks for labeling each shot with letters— that definitely helped me understand the script better :]
I’m also not sure if you thought of something like this already, but I think it could look neat if you placed maybe three shots side-by-side and played them simultaneously? Just to change up the formatting a little from simply cutting to each shot. ^^ I’m by no means experienced in filmmaking, though, so take this with a grain of salt xD
Ooh and another random idea I had was if the man paused sometime in the middle and took a break to eat ice cream and look at the mirror forlornly? Feel free to ignore this idea though— I just feel bad for the guy, and it must be hard to constantly try new attempts at photographing the mirror without a break XD
Here I think you meant “sell” instead of “buy”…? A super tiny thing, but it did confuse me a little ^^’
I don’t know why, but I found this part super funny XDD I also liked the shot when the guy wraps himself in a blanket and tries to surprise the mirror— it’s the zany kind of idea that I can almost trick myself into thinking might actually work :P Ooh and the one with the snorkel was hilarious too xD so yeah, I think you have a great sense of humor!
I do have a couple suggestions too though:
For the car crash, I feel like it would make more sense if the man was driving the car, instead of a separate driver. Then the reason for the crash could be distracted driving >.> Of course, that’s unless you have a specific reason for having a separate driver? (If it makes it safer to film, than definitely don’t change that!)
In the last scene, I really like the idea of having a small child show the man how to take a picture of the mirror. But… I’m wondering… did the kid just appear out of thin air, or randomly walk into the guy’s house, or something? <.< XD It’d be awesome if you could introduce the kid a little earlier in the script, in my opinion! Perhaps the man is the child’s father? If so, I think it could work to have the kid come out in a few shots, trying to show the man the right way to take the picture, but the man just ignores the kid. And maybe the kid shakes their head at the foolishness of the man a few times? Of course, it’s completely up to you— this is just what I personally think I’d like to see! C:
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this script, and I wish you the best of luck filming it! Keep writing, and have a fantastic day/night!! =D
I think the idea for this was quite hilarious. I'm sure we've all seen memes and pictures making fun of people trying to take pictures of mirrors. Each attempt to take himself out of the shot makes it funnier and funnier as the reader tries to figure out what the solution to the problem would be as well. In reality, I'm not sure what the solution to this poor man's problem is. For what you were trying to accomplish with the limited tools you had, you did a wonderful job. I can definitely tell that this is meant to be filmed, not read, but I get the general idea. I would encourage you to go forth with your plan and film! Good luck!!!
Good grammar overall, that style is very hard to write in. It's a good style for a "play script" and the dilemma was quite interesting. At the very end, I ended up trying to figure out the solution myself. Oh and it was definitely funny, I did not understand how crashing the car was relevant though. If you ever make a video out of this I think it will be very funny.