Young Writers Society

Man Trying To Take Picture Of Mirror To Put On Ebay Knows True Desperation

FADE TO:

INT. DIRTY KITCHEN - MORNING

Dirty kitchen is shown through the reflection of MIRROR. MAN enters shot and sits down. He is in a bathrobe and looks gross and tired. Man yawns and opens the computer. He is on eBay looking at a Sax-o-boom worth an absurd amount of money. He takes cash out of his bathrobe pocket and begins to count it out, looks annoyed, recounts it.

Man runs out of shot and comes back with a handful of coins. He throws them down on the table and counts them too, but now seems to become nervous. He gets up and looks through drawers frantically. Finding nothing, he glances around the room. We see various strange objects around the room. Including but not limited to: Ugly furniture, snorkel and mask, roll of twine, bucket of paint, dirty mirrors, fireworks, gilly suit, cat, ninja costume, and small indoor trampoline. His eyes lock on the Mirror the scene has been filmed through the reflection of. FOCUS SHIFTS, so we too are now looking at the Mirror.

He turns back to the computer. We hear VERY FAST TYPING. Show Screen. He is on a different page on eBay, showing the same Mirror he wants to buy. Beneath it is the price, it’s worth $200. He lets out an exclamation of excitement. 

He walks over to the Mirror and pulls a smartphone out of his pocket. He quickly and, without paying much attention, takes a picture. SNAP. He smiles and holds up the phone to look at the picture. CAMERA MOVES CLOSER TO SCREEN.

It’s of his gross hairy legs, his shirtless stomach, and the bottom of his bathrobe and the cluttered kitchen. PERSPECTIVE CLICKS IN, so the picture takes up the entire frame.

OPENING TITLES

Man Vs. Mirror

FADE IN

INT. DIRTY LIVING ROOM

Man looks at the picture and sees that it’s of his gross legs, he is frustrated. He backs up and tries to get better shot, now he and his home are revealed in weird full glory.

CLOSE UP OF MAN

Man looking at his phone in frustration again.

CUT TO:

INT. REFLECTION OF DIRTY ROOM

Man nowhere to be seen. Man’s hand shoots out from behind a piece of furniture, and a picture is taken. The hand is brought back in. From behind the furniture, we hear the man make annoyed sounds. 

MAN

*Annoyed sounds*

CUT TO:

INT. REFLECTION OF DIRTY ROOM

Hold a shot of the empty room shot again, this time for longer. Then the Man jumps out from behind a piece of furniture wearing a blanket like he hopes to surprise the mirror. This does not work.

CUT TO:

Man drags a chair into frame, places laptop computer on the chair, plugs computer in. Press to start the countdown to a picture. Man tries to run out of frame, trips over the chord, he falls out of the frame and so does the computer.

OFFSCREEN

Two CRUNCH’s

Music begins to swell and get faster.

Music begins to swell and get faster.

All following shots are tightly edited together, take place in the same dirty living room, and with the Man wearing an even more absurd outfit than before, and with a bloody paper towel in his nose.

CUT TO:

Shot A: Man is seen cleaning window with unnecessary emotion

CUT TO:

Shot B, Man is struggling to tie a string around the phone.

CUT TO:

Shot C: Man is setting up varies previously seen mirrors

CUT TO:

Back to Shot A: Man in the far background through the window trying to get a picture.

CUT TO:

Shot D: Man is trying unsuccessfully to tie a phone to his squirming cat

CUT TO:

Back to Shot B: Man successfully dangled the phone in front of the mirror, he looks excited, then the joy melts from his face as realizes he still has to click the button to take the picture. Desperate and deflated he taps the phone with his finger like it’s a hot pan.

CUT TO:

Shot F: He’s painting himself the color of the wall.

CUT TO:

Shot E He’s setting up an indoor trampoline next to it.

CUT TO:

Shot G: his body is contorted in a strange position to hold the phone in his barefoot.

CUT TO:

Back to shot C: He can see himself in many mirrors reflection, we see a disappointed look on his face through the dirty glass.

CUT TO:

Shot H: The room is dimly lit and everything is hard to make out, and then with the flash of a camera we see Man is wearing an all black Ninja suit and holding his phone.

CUT TO:

Back to shot Shot F: Man’s the color of the wall and he tries to take the picture but slips in paint

CUT TO:

CLOSE UP ON MAN'S FACE

 Back to Shot E: We pause for a moment as he looks at the tramp, summoning his bravery. ZOOM OUT. He runs, jumps off the tramp, and past the mirror, leaving the frame with a CRASH. (maybe he is just jumping off a stool, will have to see while filming)

In all future scenes, Man will have a bloody paper towel up one nostril, his foot will be in a boot, and he’ll have paint on his face.

CUT TO:

INT. AT TABLE

Shot I: Man cutting out pieces of a newspaper.

CUT TO:

INT. IN BATHROOM

Shot J: Man putting on a gilly suit and looking in the bathroom mirror.

CUT TO:

EXT. NEXT TO POOL

Shot K: Man dramatically putting on goggles next to pool.

CUT TO:

EXT. DRIVEWAY

Shot L: Man lights a smoke bomb and burns himself. He shakes his burnt finger and stuck it in his mouth.

CUT TO:

EXT. FIELD

Shot R: Man frustratedly trying and failing to get the camera to look through a telescope at the faraway mirror.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARK

Shot M: Man trying to get a picture through the hole in the newspaper with a phone - like a detective.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS

Shot N: Man walking into the forest with mirror.

CUT TO:

EXT. WIDE SHOT OF WOODS

Man is far away mirror trying to climb a tree in a ghillie suit.

CUT TO:

EXT. AT LAKE

Man’s hand holding a phone and his snorkel stick out from the lake, the rest of Man is hidden by water.

CUT TO:

EXT. DRIVEWAY

Shot L: Man stepping through the smoke with phone.

CUT TO:

EXT. UNDERWATER IN POOL

Shot Q: Reflection of man is getting picture of the mirror while underwater.

The music swells to its greatest peak, and cuts are now so fast it’s almost hard to catch what's going on.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARK

Back to Shot M: Man's newspaper getting blown away

CUT TO:

EXT. FIELD

Back to Shot R: The telescope falls off and breaks as Man fumbles with it.

CUT TO:

EXT. LAKE

Back to Shot O: Water goes in the snorkel, Man emerges from the water coughing and spluttering and spitting out water. 

CUT TO:

INT. DIRTY LIVING ROOM

Back to C: The Dirty Mirrors fall and break.

CUT TO:

INT. DIRTY LIVING ROOM

Back to shot B: Phone falls off string and breaks.

CUT TO:

EXT. PLAYGROUND

Shot T: Man Swings past it and then falls

Music swells and then finds a place of calm

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS

Shot N: Man in ghillie suit falling out of the tree.

CUT TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE HOME NEXT TO ROAD

Man drags Mirror outside and leans it against a tree.

CUT TO:

INT. CAR

Man gets in a car and nods at the driver. ZOOM IN ON driver's hand, it dramatically shifts the car into drive. ZOOM IN ON the speedometer goes from 5-60 very quickly. Music begins to swell.

CUT TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE HOME NEXT TO ROAD

Car rockets past the mirror with the window down, we momentarily see Man holding up his

Phone. We hear SQUEALING BREAKS and then a CRASH

FADE TO BLACK

FADE IN

INT. BEDROOM

Music calms

Man lying in bed, obviously very hurt, staring at the mirror with both longing and hate, still pointing his phone camera at it.

SMALL CHILD walks up to him, takes the camera, but lets Man keep a loose grip on it. Small child angles the phone in a different direction, so now man not in the reflection.

MAN

(in relief) Aaaah

Man takes a picture, and looks at it happily. As he looks at the picture, mirror wobbles, begins to fall.

CUT TO: BLACK

We hear a SHATTER

MAN (OFFSCREEN)

(angry) aaaaaaaahhh

BEGIN TITLES

Man VS Mirror Appears in white text on the black

Small pause

By Andrew Knorpp

Then the credits begin, the names appearing on all the pictures he took throughout the process.

Sorry if the notations a little off, I'm new to screenwriting and YWS word processor doesn't make it any easier! I'd love to hear if you think this is funny, if you think any of the joke beats don't work, are misplaced, or could be improved! Or any ideas for other funny ways he could try to get a picture of the mirror? 

I plan to film this, and I'll need all the feedback I can get, thanks!