Young Writers Society

Hi MayCupecake,

Mailice here with a short review!

Despite the brevity of the poem, one can feel very well what you want to express, perhaps because one has experienced it oneself. You speak of a heartfelt longing that degenerates into melancholy, fading the moment and the memory the narrator had made with his counterpart (presumably his lover).


What I find very great about the poem is how you use the stylistic device of going from thoughts to the next and then showing the outside world. (I don't know exactly how to put it.) I mean how you create the transitions between the verses (Do you remember? - Do you know? - Do you realise? - Do you see?) It's a very great effect you create here, first making someone think for themselves, and with each new point pulling a little more in a direction where you can tell the narrator wants to shout out what they are feeling and what they are feeling. These questions are great steps up and great representations of what he really has in his heart.

You actually create this "level system" in every single line and correlates with the next verse. I really like this and gives your whole poem an excellent touch and tone, as if the narrator is puffing himself up to finally hear from his counterpart what he has wanted to hear for so long.

Do you remember?
When I sat beside you

Do you realise?
That I like you
And known since the yuletide?

Do you see?
The pandemic has become
A barrier between you and me.

Heya, Ruby here with a short review!

1st impressions:
This really is beautiful ; the reader can emotionally connect with you in the poem which I love a lot. It really reaches out to each and every person, hits them and causes them to remember the highlights of this pandemic.

"Do you remember?
When I sat beside you"

These lines are really sweet! It questions me (as well as the pandemic), causing more engagement through the read. I think you should remove the question mark and place it after the 2 line instead like, "Do you remember, when I sat beside you?" however it is totally your call entirely. Just a suggestion.

"The pandemic has become
A barrier between you and me."

Such a sweet and simple way to end it off. It sounds awesome like this but have you thought of saying this instead,
"The pandemic has become a barrier
between both
you and me."
I think it draws a more dramatic finish with pauses in nice places. Your version is great as well though and I like the effect it has.

Stay safe!
Rubes x

I thought this poem was very nice it was short and concise and really got to the point of the feeling that the pandemic has most likely brought us all. I also like the questions you added such as the part where it says "Do you remember?" or "Do you realize?" these really add more emotion and feeling to the poem as if it's an actual person asking these questions. Overall I think this poem is very relatable and there's probably something that anyone can take away from it, great job!

Hey FlamingPhoenix here with a short review! Hope you enjoy the small moment. Lol

Okay lets begin!

This poem is so relatable! I mean I don't go out very often most of the time already but the pandemic just made it harder for me because when I wanted to go out I couldn't. Hahaha.

I also love all the

Don't you remember?

Don't you know?

Don't you realize?

Don't you see?

Hello! This is Momo, here with a review

I really love this poem! It's very well-written, and part of what makes it so good id that the reader can relate with it. Every single person in the world has been affected by the pandemic, and this poem puts that into words. Amazing job!

And known since the yuletides?

Do you see?
The pandemic has become
A barrier between you and me.

Hi MayCupcake!! I'm Anne and here to review your work.
The intro and conclusion are two parts, every poet should be careful about. And you've written both wonderfully. Since it starts with remember, anyone living at this time may automatically get the thought of pandemic going in their head. And it does end with it, thus giving the poem a very lucid flow.

LANGUAGE
First of all, I loved the choice of words here. To the point and amazing.The flow is another thing that requires endless praise.
The consistency and rhyme of the poem are very much appreciated. The shortness of it also gives it a touch of innocent love.

MESSAGE
The message of this poem m is very relatable. The pandemic has indeed affected our relationships. And that makes me talk about another thing which is the line 'A pandemic'. Pandemics don't happen everyday, so this, I thought would have looked better if it was 'this pandemic' or 'the pandemic'. Also, the usage of 'a' makes it appear like a small thing. The idea which I didn't find consistent with the poem, since it talks about remembering someone special. So a small thing shouldn't be a barrier. And of course, pandemic isn't a small thing at all, it just gives the opinion it is in that usage.

Other than that, I don't find any flaws, its perfect as it is. It really is a very enjoyable read. Hope to read more from you. Keep writing

Slubbs here with a review.

This poem was incredibly relatable!
I’ve become slightly more distant from my friends because of the pandemic.

The beginning of the poem was good. I really liked how you used the word deter.

As Another reviewer already pointed out the capitalization of the third line in every stanza, I think it was your just your creativity.

I enjoyed this poem and excited to read more of your works. This poem had a nice flow and was easy to read. You put out a poem where the reader can relate to and think from... if that makes sense.

Overall it was a great poem. Keep on writing cause you’re fabulous, absolutely exquisite!

~slubbs

Hey, here to review if you don't mind!

I really like this. It's short and sweet and gets the message across really well.

One thing is you capitalized the beginning of every line, even though the third line of every stanza is in the middle of a sentence. It's a simple thing and if it was a creative choice, then you can just ignore this.

Overall the rhythm was nice and consistent. I would love to read more of your work!