Young Writers Society

Hello, I'm here reviewing!!


I really like what you did here. Putting two awesome things together to create a mega awesome song, was the best idea I have seen so far. I mean, FNAF was the most amazing game ever made!(still is amazing) Mrs. Jackson was and still is my all time favorite song. I think that you should go on YouTube and sing/have someone else sing it. SHARE THIS WITH THE WORLD CHILD!!!!

I actually have a little brother that is obsessed with FNAF, and I bet if I showed him this, he would want to try and listen to it. Because it is really good, and I liked how you made it where the characters had their own little part in the song, and how you included the Afton's in it also. That is really creative.

Anyway, I listened to it while having the instrumental to the original playing while I read, and your lyrics fit right in where the original ones would have gone. Keep up the good work!!

~Namjoon~

Hey! This review is coming from Team Tomatoes!

Let's see. I liked your first parody but I think this one is better. Probably because I like the idea of putting Freddy's in a song version. Miss Jackson has a catchy beat so I'm glad you took advantage of this song!

I've only messed around with Five Nights at Freddy's before, but I at least know enough to laugh a little at this song. Having the different animatronics with verses is a cool touch, besides the inclusion of the Afton family. What a creepy story.

You did a good job linking lines together, while still staying true to the song. A couple of times the lines were pretty wordy, so to someone who doesn’t know that song they may be too long, but I’m fine with it. Some parts of this song causes more hurried singing than calm singing, so this still fits.

The line of “They move in circles knowing that they’re being locked out” seems to be on the wordier side. Maybe delete the “that” to allow a little breather? That line definitely has a couple extra beats from the original. I think “that” would take the least meaning away from the line.

You got me very creeped out by the lyrical content, which is probably a goal of yours. If not, it should be, since you achieved it!

Overall, I like how you’ve kept the rhythm of the song for the most part, and I kept finding myself singing all to the beat of the song! Nice work! Hope this review helps!

Hi Zelda!

Not super familiar with Five Nights of Freddy, but I know the basic premise I guess and have watched the little kids at daycare play the game or talk about it occasionally.

So let's get to the review,

I think this piece was really well-executed in how it hightened the terror/creepiness levels as the piece went on. Just like the game, it starts out innocent enough, but then you lace in more and more of the story.

In this section:
"Some tasty pizza but the scenery is so loud" -- I felt like the language could have been more exact, the words "so" and "some" are a bit vague/stilted.

This part was my favorite:
"Way down 'til the crime spree finally dies out

You've got 'em wrapped up in suits so watch 'em fall down

There's something haunting and tragic in the background"

because it tells a clear story, and is specific too, you did a great job with the phrasing and enough near-rhyme to make the piece sound lyrical without being sing-songy. Well done.

The repetition of the "Hey" and "Afton" was a bit much in my opinion, but maybe that's how the song you were relicating sounds, I would take a double look to see if you could mix that up a bit here and there. Maybe highlighting different characters or different phrases.

Overall, I felt like I could follow the line of the story you were telling and could easily pick up on the creepy tone of the piece. I think this piece did exactly what you set out to do - setting Five Nights at Freddy's to a song. My take-away from the piece is certainly a sense of unease of what will happen, not quite Schadenfreude at all. But I think in this case that is certainly the purpose of the game - to instill a bit of fear with this unsettling story.

If you have any questions about my review,

feel free to reach out.

alliyah

This review is from Team Tomato