Niji

Ever since I was younger, I envisioned college life as effortless and stress-free, almost a second heaven. However, reality has proven otherwise, especially at the San Francisco Art Institute (SFAI). Despite studying subjects that may seem straightforward to others, I've found that mastering fine arts and music requires immense dedication.

Growing up, I noticed many musicians I knew didn't formalize their education, which led me to believe artistic pursuits would come naturally. But now, I'm faced with the challenging reality. Sometimes I wonder, "Where are the late-night jam sessions? Where's my partner in crime, my boyfriend?" But harsh reality hits: I have no real friends outside of serious coursemates, and my love life is nonexistent.

Perhaps I unintentionally push away those who yearn to be close, lost as I am in my own thoughts. The weight of guilt perpetually resides in my heart, casting a shadow over my connections. If only I hadn't left my sister alone for those five minutes in that stupid park... The what-ifs haunt me.

"Ryoka!" The distant call grew louder, pulling me from my reverie. I didn't respond at first, lost in thought, until the familiar voice drew nearer. Only then did I realize someone was calling my name.

"oh hey Astrid" I said looking at her. Astrid is my roommate on campus and also my best friend from highschool.

"Hey, Ryoka!" Astrid replied, dropping her backpack onto the floor. "Lost in thought again?" Her bright blue eyes sparkled with amusement.

I shook my head, attempting a weak smile. "Just stressed about school."

Astrid nodded sympathetically. "I know the feeling. But you're doing great, Ry. You're an amazing artist." She paused, studying me. "Is everything okay? You seem... distant lately."

"Yeah... Everything is okay, I guess it's just school work" I said getting up from my bed and walking towards the door.

Astrid's eyes narrowed slightly, her expression skeptical. "Just schoolwork, huh?" She trailed behind me, her voice laced with concern.

I forced a laugh, trying to downplay my emotions. "Yeah, what else could it be?"

We stepped out of our dorm room, into the bustling hallway. Students rushed past, chatting and laughing. The sounds of campus life filled the air, a stark contrast to my inner turmoil.

Astrid matched my pace, her long strides keeping up with mine. "Ry, you know I'm here for you, right? If something's bothering you..."

Her words trailed off, but the unspoken offer hung in the air.

As I walked, I realized I had no destination in mind, having left our room on autopilot. I glanced at my phone - 2 pm. "Yeah, Trid," I said, halting mid-stride. "Nothing's wrong, I'm fine. How about we grab lunch?"

Astrid's face lit up with a smile. "Lunch sounds perfect. Where did you have in mind?"

I shrugged, feeling a slight reprieve from my earlier thoughts. "Anywhere but the cafeteria?"

She chuckled. "Deal. Let's try Jade Garden, that new Chinese place on Grant Avenue in Chinatown."

As we walked off campus, the crisp of San Francisco air filled my lungs, and for a moment, my worries seemed to fade. The vibrant streets of Chinatown enveloped us, with colorful lanterns and intricate architecture transporting us to a different world.

We settled into a cozy booth at Jade Garden, surrounded by the savory aromas of Kung Pao chicken and steaming dumplings.

Astrid perused the menu, her eyes scanning the option. "What's your craving, Ry?"

I shrugged feeling a rare sense of calm wash over me "I'd go with rice noodles with a side of dumplings"

The waiter arrived, and Astrid ordered in fluent Mandarin, impressing me as always.

As we waited for our food, she reached across the table, her hand covering mine. "Hey, Ry? You know I'm here for you, right?"

Her words sparked a mix of emotions, but I managed a smile. "Thanks Trid. Means a lot".

Our lunch arrived, and the first dumpling exploded with flavor, momentarily distracting me from my thoughts. 'But this kinda feels like a date but she's a girl and I'm a girl so nahh' I thought to myself while smiling. 

As I savored the dumpling, Astrid's hand still covering mine, I couldn't shake off the cozy atmosphere. Our eyes met, and for a fleeting moment, I thought I saw something more than friendship in her gaze.

"Nahh, Trid's just being Trid," I mentally reassured myself, brushing off the thought.

Astrid withdrew her hand, smiling warmly. "Glad you're enjoying the dumplings. I was thinking, after lunch, we could check out that new art exhibit on Market Street."

I nodded enthusiastically, grateful for the distraction. "Sounds awesome. Love your taste in art."

As we finished lunch and prepared to leave, I couldn't help but notice the way Astrid's hair fell in loose waves down her back, or the way her smile crinkled the corners of her eyes.

"Stop it, Ry, Trid's not like that" I silently chastised myself. "She's a friend, remember? "

We stepped out into the warm afternoon, the vibrant city sounds and sights enveloping us once more.

We walked to the art exhibit on Market Street, Astrid's enthusiasm was infectious as she explained the artist's inspiration and techniques.

As we stood before a stunning watercolor piece, Astrid's eyes sparkled. "This one reminds me of our hike last year, Ry. Remember that breathtaking view?"

I smiled, recalling the trip. "How could I forget? You almost fell off the cliff."

Astrid playfully rolled her eyes. "Hey, that was one tiny misstep."

Her laughter and energy drew attention from nearby art patrons, who couldn't help but smile at her infectious joy.We continued through the exhibit, I noticed Astrid's passion for art wasn't just about aesthetics; it was about the stories and emotions behind each piece.

"Astrid, what draws you to art?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

She pondered, her gaze drifting across the room. "It's like... art captures life's essence, you know? The beauty, the struggles, the moments that make us human."

Astrid slipped behind me, her warmth surrounding me. She wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me into a gentle hug. "Close your eyes, Ry," she whispered. I obeyed, my senses heightened.

She placed something delicate around my neck, the soft touch sending shivers down my spine. Her breath tickled my ear as she whispered, "Happy birthday, Ry."

A surge of happiness swelled within me. I had completely forgotten it was my birthday.

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I turned to face her. Astrid's smile radiated warmth, and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close.

Just as she kissed my forehead, a sudden realization struck me. "Wait, it's my birthday... and Ryonosuke's too." My twin brother's face flashed in my mind, and a mix of emotions swirled inside.

I pulled back from Astrid, a mix of nostalgia and longing washing over me. "I wonder what Ryonosuke's doing today," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Astrid's expression softened. "You miss him, don't you?"

I pulled out my phone and dialed Ryonosuke's number, my heart racing with anticipation. It rang twice before his familiar voice answered.

"Hey, twin!" Ryonosuke's cheerful tone transported me back to our childhood.

"Happy birthday, nosuke!" I chimed in, emotion thick in my voice.

There was a pause, and for a moment, I worried I'd awakened something painful.

"Hey, Ryoka," Ryonosuke said softly. "Missed you."

My eyes met Astrid's, her warm smile encouraging.

"Missed you too, nosuke. Astrid surprised me with a beautiful gift." I glanced at the delicate necklace.

"That sounds like Astrid," Ryonosuke chuckled. "Send me a pic."

As I sent the photo, Astrid mouthed, "Put him on speaker."

"Put you on speaker?" I asked Ryonosuke.

"Go ahead."

Her eyes sparkled as Ryonosuke's voice filled the space.

"Hey, Astrid! Thanks for making Ry's day special."

Astrid beamed. "Anytime, nosuke. Happy birthday to you both."

The conversation flowed easily, filling the gaps between us.

As I hung up the phone, Astrid's concerned expression softened. "Better now?"

I nodded, feeling a weight lift.

Astrid smiled, glancing at her watch. "It's getting late, Ry. Want to head back to the dorm?"

I checked the time - 7 pm. "Yeah, let's go."

We strolled hand in hand through the quieting streets, the evening lights twinkling around us.

Finally, we returned to our room. Exhaustion and happiness wrestled within me. I hadn't expected anything more from today, but a gift package on my bed caught my attention. "Astrid, where did this come from?" I asked, holding it up.

Astrid shrugged, a sly smile spreading across her face. "No idea. Must be a mystery admirer."

Intrigued, I carefully unwrapped the paper. Inside, a stunning, intricately designed box revealed two black bracelets and a pair of ash Louis Vuitton shoes - the exact ones I'd always wanted but couldn't get. Only my little sister, Yui, knew about this desire.

A small note accompanied the gift:

"To Ryoka, on your special day and always,

Wishing you starry nights and endless dreams.

Ryoka, Yui really wanted you to have these shoes on your birthday and to always be happy. (The bracelets are from me, though; I remembered how much you love them and the color black).

I wish I were around to see you today, but business plans came up. Even though I'm not there with you right now, know that we love you so very much.

From your big bro, Takashi"

My heart swelled, and tears filled my eyes. Mixed emotions flooded me - sadness for Yui and joy from hearing from Takashi.

I looked up at Astrid, who knew me better than anyone.

Astrid's smile faded before she regained her composure. "What's wrong, Ry? Who's it from?"

"I- it's from Takashi," I managed to say, my voice cracking.

Astrid's eyes locked onto mine, her expression softening. "What's wrong, Ry? What's in the letter?"