18+ Language Mature Content

Black Contamination_ chapter 3: follow the lies of the darkness.

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

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Eesa spent the rest of the day at the library. He was lucky it was the weekend, he passed time reading about the history of the city. He knew very well that it was false, since his brother had books too on the real history of the city. Which was full of blood, injustice, racism, false science conclusions that were clearly made for political reasons. The book in his hand was the book everyone was reading and believing.

"Well Eesa, it's time to go." he smiled, holding the library keys in his hand, he put on his coat.

"Yes Vincent!" He got up and ran to the history section to return the book. "No running in the library" he said out loud, breaking a rule too himself.

"Sorry!" He put the book in its place and walked back to Vincent with the biggest smile on his face, he smiled back and said, "I'm glad I know someone who loves to seek not only knowledge but also the truth" he locked the library doors behind him and activated the alarm system.

"My brother taught me to always seek the truth in anything that is given to me, because he said a lot of things is this city are complete lies."

He locked the main entrance with his keys as he replied,"I see, your brother was a very knowledgeable man." 

"Yes, I told you he had a bunch of bookshelves in the apartment filled with books about almost everything you should know about the city and the world before and after the war." He took a deep breath after finishing that one long sentence.

He giggled and turned to face him."I didn't know that."

"Oh! I haven't told you?" He couldn't believe that he didn't mention it before. they both constantly talk on and on about each other's life. Well, mainly Eesa's life, and he didn't mention having library in their apartment? Was he half sleepy every time they talked?

"You told me he had a lot of books but not bookshelves." He laughed slightly.

"Haha sorry, I will be more clear next time!" Eesa grinned and both of them walked down the road and Vincent was waiting for a taxi to actually stop for him. And it wasn't easy, unless your a hot chick with a cheesy attitude.

Yet Vincent was worried for the little man, he just lost his brother, he knows very well his brother means the world for him.

"How is he putting up with this? Didn't his brother died just today?!" He thought to himself, he was drowning in thoughts when he noticed that Eesa went silent, very silent. His face was looking down at the ground with a smile on it, he got out his phone and dialed a number, he could see the name of the one he called, it was big brother.

"Eesa?" Vincent was very confused, why he is acting like this, why is he calling his number? 

"Why is he not answering?" He dialed the number again "come on brother, pick up!" Vincent just stood, their unable to bring himself to make him snap out of it, was he still in a shock?

"That's weird, he always pickes up, I should head back home and see what's wrong..." He turned to Vincent as he said that.

Vincent placed his hand on Eesa's shoulder and said, "Eesa, your brother is dead, he died today in an accident"

"...he did?" He said it as if he never knew.

"Yes" he was defiantly worried on him now.

"..." He put back his mobile in his pocket and just stared at the ground.

"Eesa?"

"I won't see him again..." he whispered.

"..."

His eyes started to tear up. "He won't be in his chair reading...or waiting for me to come back home..." his voice trembled as he spoke.

"This is not good..." Vincent thought to himself.

Eesa started to sob uncontrollably and Vincent held him in his arms patting his head as gently as possible "there there... Don't cry." but he did, he burst into tears and hysterical crying, he was so loud some passing people actually looked at them. He didn't want him to hold it back, although it was emarassing for people to be looking at them.

"Come on let's get you home." he said as he helped him up still holding him and Eesa was still crying, people have then ignored them most of the way back to his apartment. When they reached his house Vincent looked at him and said, "Eesa, where are your keys?" He didn't hear him he was still sobbing, Vincent sighed and searched his pockets for the keys. He finally found them, got them and opened the door for him. "Come on..." He lead him in the house, Eesa's face was a mess, his eyes became red and puffy from crying, his breath was very unstable the entire time they walked, his voice was exhausted from all the weezing, sobbing and crying, his nose was red and his cheeks were marked with dry tears.

Vincent stopped for a moment and glanced over him, he was standing right behind him. "It's me all over again..." He thought about his son at this moment, when he did the same exact thing that day. Eesa have finally stopped crying and he was trying to calm his breathing, Vincent sat beside him.

"Are you calm now?" he asked him gently, Eesa nodded and his sobbing became less and less."Y-yes..." he stuttered breathing loudly, sounding as if he had a hiccup.

"Okay, just stop crying..." He gave him a tissue, Eesa cleaned his nose and dried his wet cheeks. He then suddenly giggled saying, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry you had to go all the way here to help a good for nothing like me." He was embarrassed, thus he was glad that he could count on someone now that Ruben is gone.

"Don't you ever say that!" he scolded him, "You always kept me company since-" he stopped an looked at Eesa "-since my son died...you are the best when it comes to emotional support." This caused him to laugh and said, "my brother said the same thing about me too"

"See? Also, I want you to think about what you said, you said a good for nothing, is this a right or wrong issue?" he smiled. Nothing better than a little faith workout to cheer him up.

Eesa looked away thinking about it for few seconds until he replied, "that is a wrong issue, because their is no such thing as a useless existence nor a useless person. Or else he or it wouldn't have existed, even if you don't do anything in your life that can be worthly for the society..."

Vincent continued it for him, "...your exsistance might be an important cause for someone's else destiny or exsistance." Eesa nodded "yes! That's true!" his grin was as big as it can be, he was happy to be reminded of that.

"And keep remembering that whenever you feel down, maybe your brother is not here anymore... But you know who was on your side too?"

Eesa smiled. "Yes, I'm very greatful I know him" they both look at each other for few seconds, then Eesa looked at the clock and gasped.

"Oh my god it's almost ten! You should've been home by now" Vincent laughed and replied, "don't worry! It's fine with me, it's not also that late."

"But it's dangerous! Gangs and thugs would be roaming the streets by now!" his tone was filled with anxiousness.

"Don't worry, I'm armed just fine." He smiled as he got out a blue pen, he clicked on its cover and it got out two metal lids out of it side and you can see red electric current running through them.

He raised an eyebrow exchanging looks at the zapper and Vincent fee times. "An electric shocker? Pardon if I sound rude, but I don't think this is up for the task of protecting a grown up man."

"What? You thought I would get out a gun? I don't like to walk around with dangerous weapons."

"Well...you can stay here for tonight if you want." He offered with a grin.

"No need to be worried about me." He rubbed Eesa's head "you are so kind, even when you're going through rough times..." He kissed his forehead. "Peace be with you Eesa." He opened the door and smiled as he stepped out of the house. "Peace be with you too Vincent..." He closed the door behind Vincent.

He watched through the window's glass as Vincent walked away, until he was out of sight. Eesa sighed and he sat on the couch and got out his school tablet and its pen from the bag.

He started solving his English homework picking his answers, until he received a message from Tiffany. A text message.

"yo Eesa! How r ya doin? :3 you solved the physics h.w?"

He replied, "no I haven't, I'm solving English"

"Aww too bad :'( can you help me with it though? ;)"

"Sure :D"

"AWWW U R MAH BABE!! <3 <3 <3" and with that reply Isa got a call from her, he touched the answer button with his pen and immediately a familiar sound said "yo babe! How is all going?"

"First stop calling me that and I'm fine thank you, you?"

"Oh wait wit wait wait, did Kate call you?"

The moment she asked that, he got another call from Kate and when he clicked the nswer button she spoke in a bothered voice "don't give Tiffany your physics homework, she is too lazy to solve it herself"

"My ass Kate! Maybe if you were a good friend you would have helped me with it!"

"I am a good friend and that is why I know very well you don't want to solve it"

"Your so meaaaan!"

"Yeah, and you're lazy!"

"Girls please, no need to fight over a homework" said Eesa.

"Ugh! Mr. Kris will kill me if I don't solve the homework right this time"

"I admit, these equations look pretty annoying" he said as he switched to his physics homework "we can solve them together if you want"

Tiffany's tone filled with happiness "really? Oh thank you so so so much!"

"That sounds fun" said Kate

In the rate of two hours they finished the physics homework along with English and mathematics.

"Ugh we still have history to go!" Said Kate

"Its okay, we can solve it fast its only three questions" said Tiffany

"Really? He didn't give us much this time" said Kate

"First question! What was the cause of the third world war?"

"Wasn't it the terrorists?"

"Yeah, I think it was they had so many terrorism organisations in Radiant city that started to attack all the other cities and spread fear all over the globe"

"Oh! Oh! Also Radiant owning world illegal and destructive weapons which threatened the world's peace!" said Kate

"What was the last thing again?...hey Eesa are you still there?" Asked Tiffany

"They were planing on invading the world..."

"What?" Said Tiffany

"The third reason...its because they sent threats to the other countries to surrender to them, so the hole cities stepped in and declared war on it, and won the war...of course they would...it's five cities against one..."

"Lies...all of it, I know it was not like that, but even though I know it was a lie but I didn't know the full truth. All the books I found never told anything about radiant itself, I still don't know anything about Radiant city nor why they killed them all, its also forbidden for anyone to travel to the ruins of the city." He thought

"Eesaaaaa!" Called Tiffany.

"Huh?! Oh sorry!" He paid attention again to them

"Gosh when you space out it's impossible to reach you!" Said Tiffany

"I'm very sorry! I'll pay more attention from now on"

"Yeah its only two questions left" she yawns "I'm getting tiered"

After solving the history homework they all yawned at the same time "wow we are all tiered" he giggled

"Of course we are, its midnight and I'm not used on staying up late..." Said Kate

"You two can go to sleep! I'm not that tiered!" Tiffany sounded like someone who is ready to party all night.

"But I will go to sleep because I need rest for the big event tomorrow!"

"Huh? What big event?" He asked

"Oh yeah, the part-" Kate gasped and screamed "oh fuck! the party of the military graduates holy shit! Oh fuck, fuck! This will be super super awesome! Music and partying for the hole city all night!! Whoho!" She cheered

"Wait you forgot about that? How could you?!" Said Tiffany

"Hehe, I guess school and history, by the way Eesa you should come!"

"Oh no, I can't"

"Why what's wrong?"

"He doesn't like gay action, haha! Ohy god remember when he saw those three guys fucking in the boys bathroom? He screamed so hard everyone though he was getting rapped!" They both laughed so hard and Eesa was a little upset.

"And all the fangirls went crazy that day!" Laughed Kate

"They were all like, who took my baby's dee before me?!" They both laughed so hard Kate started to cough.

"Girls I'm still here..." He said a little annoyed.

"And someone actually called the police on him accusing him of hate crime" said Tiffany.

"Yeah, you were going to jail for a second if it wasn't for us" said Kate

"Yeah...thanks for backing me up that day" he had a sad smile on his face, that day was a true nightmare to him. He recalled that day very clearly.

It was only last year when Eesa was falling asleep in class because he kept awake all night to take care of Ruben since he had a very bad fever the day before it, he asked the teacher to go wash his face and when he did he heard weird noises coming from the toilet stall, he turned around and saw the door accidentally openining and revealing the most unpleasant scene ever, he screamed so hard and loud and shouted "no! No! No! No! No!" The entire class ran to see what was happening since his vocals hit the roof. And then the three students were caughed and scolded and suspended, that day someone called the police reporting that Eesa has committed a hate crime against love couples, police came and they questioned him, questioned the principle, the teachers and all his class, everyone started to get pissed from him and the police was actually going to take him to jail, because in hate crimes you immediately get a year in prison plus four years of rehab, just one year in prison was enough since all kind of abuse happens there, Eesa cried at thier feet and he was completely humiliated in front of everyone, he would do anything so he won't go to jail.

But thanks to Tiffany and Kate, they both told the officers he was just caught by surprised and that it was their fault and Eesa told them that he never though someone would do that in school and they both backed him up, so the police left that day, after a lot of tears and screaming and the girls almost getting in a fight with the cops. He got back home late because of this hole fuss, and he could see his brother was of course walking right and left and calling him for the eleventh time, Eesa finally opened the for and walked in.

"Eesa!" Ruben ran to him and held his shoulders, he started to look all over him too "why are you late? Did you get in trouble? Are you hurt anywhere?!" He flooded him with questions, his cheeks were still red from the fever and he looked very tiered.

"No...the police came..." Ruben's eyes widened "they came because someone reported me for a hate crime"

"What?!"

"I didn't do anything! I swear!"

"Then what happened so they can accuse you of hate crime?"

"I...I saw three boys...in the boys bathroom..."

Ruben flinched "..."

"They were...they were having-!"

"No no, I got it I got it" he interrupted him "what the fuck, teenagers are fucking retards" he said but quickly he lost his balance and fell on the floor unconscious, it was his fever.

"Ruben!" Shouted Eesa he held his head and stroke his cheeks gently to wake him up, thankfully he did. "You shouldn't have left your bed!"

He breathed heavily and got up "no..." He was trembling, but he wasn't cold, he was getting angry, very angry.

"..." Eesa was getting scared as he got up.

"Eesa I told you so many timed to controls your feelings! Do you have any idea what could have happened to you if they..." He paused his rage, he couldn't bring himself to say it. Is just stood there looking at the ground, eyes starting to get water in them.

"How could you react this badly?! Why don't you listen to me? Huh?! Do you want to got to prison?!" Eesa was still scilent until Rubem grabbed him from the shirt's collar "answer me!" He screamed at him. Eesa looked at him tears running down his face, Ruben's expression soften... He didn't stand to see him crying. He sighed and let him go.

"I'm so sorry...I was too shocked, I won't do it again I promise" Ruben's heart ached for him and he embraced him saying "I don't want this dreadful city to take eyou away from me, I don't want them to touch a single strand of hair from you with bad intentions"

"I know..." He hugged him back.

"You know I do this because I love you right?"

"Yes..." He smiled as tears went down his cheeks. "I thought I wouldn't see you again... I thought they would arrest me..."

"No don't say that, they will never take you away from me... And if they try to do so, I will destroy this city with all of its evil..." He coughed badly once he finished his sentience.

"Ruben your fever!" Isa placed his hand on Ruben's forehead, it was burning.

"Yeah..." He looked away.

"Come on, I'll make you some soup and get you some ice too for your heat"

"Thanks for taking the bullshit of a grown up baby like me"

"Don't say that, that's the least I can do for the man who raised me all those years" Ruben smiled at him and said "thank you...Eesa"

"And he spaced out again" he heard Tiffany's voice cutting through his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"You know what, you need some serious rest, you have been spacing out too much lately" said Kate.

"Yeah, I do need some rest..." He paused "...to clear my head..."

Comments & reviews · 2
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BrumalHunter
Review

Salutations.

I haven't read any of your chapters before, so instead of critiquing the plot, I'll jump in and look at the other aspects.


I immediately noticed this is difficult to read. The constant perspective-jumping is partly responsible, since most of the time, I can't tell whether it's Eesa or Vincent speaking. But besides that, your sentence and paragraph structure is also confusing. At times, it feels like you're rambling or being too long-winded. To address that, I recommend studying the sentences and removing everything that isn't necessary. The more concise one's writing is, the clearer it tends to be. I struggle with this problem myself, so I speak out of a desire to help, not criticise.

Punctuation and typos also seem to be a problem. Besides that you leave out spaces, you also leave out commas every now and then. You sometimes also forget to capitalise the first word of a sentence. Honestly, these are errors that shouldn't be in here at all, so be very careful when rereading your work. Such things can slip in easily if you're not cautious. Other things that may also have slipped in are malapropisms, although they usually occur because one does not understand the difference between the words. For example, you say "defiantly" instead of "definitely" - the former is an adverb, whereas the latter is an adjective indicating degree.

Lastly, I'm not entirely sure what to think of the dynamic between Eesa and Vincent. They are obviously friends, but I can't predict how they would react. Usually, if you know people well enough, that isn't a problem, and though I naturally don't know much about the duo, I should have been able to glean at least a bit of their personality. Characterisation is important, so characters may have similar personalities, but they should nevertheless be distinct.


Your conclusion was amusing, but it didn't feel right. So soon after his brother died, I would expect Eesa to mourn his death properly. I suppose you just wanted to end the chapter with a light-hearted note. Perhaps you might want to reconsider that in future. Anyway, good luck with your novel!


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Mea
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Mea wrote a review · Sun Jul 31, 2016 10:54 am

Hey there! I'm here for a quick review. I think I may have review a previous part of this, so sorry if I repeat myself.

The first thing I noticed is that you're switching perspectives between Eesa and Vincent. Now, the perspective you're writing is basically 3rd person limited: one person's thoughts at a time. The problem is, you switch between them without changing scenes. You need to put an extra line break to denote the perspective change. (Now, this could also fit under the category of 3rd person omniscient, having a narrator who knows all the character's thoughts and feelings, but I don't think writing 3rd person omniscient would work in this story - it's too hard to do without confusing the reader, and you're only showing 2 characters' thoughts.) So stick with 3rd person limited and put extra line breaks between perspective changes.

The other main thing I have to say is that I don't think Eesa's reaction to learning about his brother's death was that believable. It makes sense that he would cry and be sad, but considering that this was the first he had heard about it, I'd expect his reaction to be more of shock then of grief, and I would expect him to question Vincent about how he knows and even possibly be in denial for a while.

I like how you showed the scene from Vincent's point of view - it offers an interesting perspective on Eesa's grief.

The other main thing I wanted to say was that a lot of their dialogue felt a little bit rushed or cheesy. A good trick is to read it out loud and ask yourself if a real person would say that.

I think that's all I've got for you today! Good luck with this, and keep writing!

Its all said by the narrator, I didn't switch at all xD its just the narrator knows it all perspective.
Secondly he watched his brother die on TV in the first chapter (since u obviously didn't read it) he was very in shock he forgot his brother died and now Vincent reminded him.
Alright I'll keep the cheesy meter in mind. Thank u!



My tongue must tell the anger of my heart, or else my heart, concealing it, will break...
— Katherine, The Taming of the Shrew