As she looked in the mirror.

Hey! Chitz here for a review.

The plot is excellent. The idea of centering the reflection was great. Using it, the message became more stronger. Appreciable attempt.

Coming on to improvement.
Firstly, I felt you we're too direct. I mean you all of a sudden changed the subject from the person to the reflection at many points. Would be better if keep going with one character first, finish its part and move on to another.

Secondly, in my perspective the last set of lines can go like
"So using her fake smile as a tool,
She won over, proving us fool. "
Guess this would make a better impression. But its your poem, so completely in your hand if you wanna replace that.

Sorry if I was too picky.
But this was an amazing.
Hope to read more of you.
Stay awaken, keep writing!

Hi MaramMK!

Whatchamacallit here for a review.

First off, I really enjoyed this poem - it flows well, I get what it's getting at ... I'm sure a load of us have experienced this.

First off, grammar. As a general rule it's a good idea to check over your poem before you post it for typos, grammar, etc.
I'll give you a few examples:

The reflection said, "Don't let them know inside you are grey, just tell them you are not a prey.

The reflection said . . .

This is a wonderfully written poem, I like it. I wonder if it's what you felt while writing. There are many situations we, humans feel that way. We fake our emotions until we make it and our feeling inside stays unknown for everyone. For everyone, but us and narrator. It feels interesting when you look at it like that.

"thus her inner voice awoke."

I feel like this part Is a little obsolete. The poem itself is written well and I feel like people will understand that without explanation.

"The reflection said,“Dont let them know inside you are grey,
just tell them you are not a prey.”

I like this part really much. when people are sad they think other people don't want to see them happy, and that can be true in some cases, unfortunately. Due to jealousy that people have. as if they are in a direct competition with the whole world.

The question I had after reading this poem was, where did she go wrong? I'd like to read more of this.

If you have some time feel free to review my poem

Dear MaramMk,

First of all, I admire this poem. It, for the most part, flows well. I'm not a master poet, so I'll try not to criticize too much since I'm really just a person behind a screen that can't really tell you what is wrong and what is write (see what I did there) when it comes to your poetry, and your righting (aha, I love puns).

So, second comes the actual criticism where I don't just ramble.

I think that in order to make this poem flow a little better would be to find a way to make all the lines rhyme, that way it won't be so surprising when you hit lines that rhyme. Yeah, it's kind of hard to find a synonym of reflection (Line 2) to rhyme with mirror (Line 1) or vice versa. Also, there's the same situation in Lines 5 and 6, "eyes" and "herself". Again, words are very hard to rhyme, and it seems like you've made a syllable pattern here as well (or at least SEEMS like it, I haven't actually checked), so that makes it all more the challenge.

The 13th line seems a little awkwardly written. Perhaps it should be written as "The reflection said, 'Don't let them know inside you are grey (or you're grey), just tell them you are not prey (or you're not prey).'" I think the "a" in the last part is a little unnecessary, unless for syllable pattern. In that case, I understand where you are coming from, and if it is important that it's in there, it still works.

I feel as though line 13 should be split into 13 + 14 though. Perhaps:
The reflection said, "Don't let them know inside you are grey-
"-just tell them you are not a prey."
It might be a little more physically appearing. Just an OCD thing.

On the thought of OCD, it seems a little strange for the last three lines to be in a different rhyme scheme from the other rhyming lines. I thought maybe the second last line would look better combined in the last line, but then that also seemed strange. I wonder if it would still give the same effect without the second last line ("being strong for a while") at all?

I feel like I'm stepping over a line here, but perhaps it could be written like this:
And she used her fake smile as a tool,
Proving all of us a fool.
(or even as "Proving herself a fool.")

I'm not the one expressing the message, so I really have no place making judgement on your poem. Except for the fact that I need the word count, and like typing on my computer.

I hope this wasn't a complete waste of time for your end. Again, it's your writing. Write as you like! I still find this to be an excellent work of poetry!

Yours Truly,
Sal

Thanks for sharing this very interesting poem concerning a person who feels in need of advice and imagines she receives it from her own reflection in the mirror. Even though it isn't specific with details, the poem does provide certain clues concerning what is going on.

For example, mentioning an inner voice that is contributing with some good advice seems to indicate that the reflection is a symbol of her own inner voice. The relationship of the speaker and the "üs"mentioned is also hinted at. This is indicated in how her fake smile is perceived.

The woman or girl also uses a fake smile to convince others that she is OK. However, the speaker isn't fooled since the speaker tells us that the smile ifs fake. Nevertheless the speaker tells us that she won by deploying that fake smile.

This leads me to believe that the only one aware that the smile was fake is the speaker while the others were fooled. There is also the insinuation that the ones referred to as "us'don;t like to see her happy. Otherwise why would here apparent happiness be considered a win?

So there seems to be an adversarial relationship between her and the others referred to as üs". Whether that adversarial relation includes the speaker isn't clear.

Suggestions:

....the reflection looked back and told her.... reads more smoothly and avoids confusion.

Great day!!

I'm here to review your work. First of all, I would like to thank you for sharing such a wonderful and heart-warming piece. It speaks of the situations in our everyday living. I have also experienced every word you've written. I liked your choice of words and the way you executed your rhyme scheme. A lot of people, mostly teenagers are experiencing such harsh conditions that shouldn't be evident in the first place. Come to think of it, it made me ponder about the strength and confidence one can gain once faced with the situations you've stated.

We experience a mixture of emotions brought about by various circumstances, yet we hold within us the answers.

In terms of suggestion, the line "no longer she was feeling weak" may sound better to be turned to "no longer was she feeling weak" instead.

Nonetheless, I loved reading your work. Keep it up and more to come!! Happy writing