12+

Narthegal's Greed - Ch.2 Aust

PreviousNext

Aust

“So, the first thing to know about my village is that it’s a far off place. Sort of hidden from the world and tucked away. The whole town barely had enough people to sustain any sort of economy. To be fully honest, it was a bit of a skivhole, but the people there were those that didn’t have much in the way of curiosity. I’m honestly surprised my parents allowed me to have free time away from the Demmmeric temple.

See, I had a sort of routine. We would wake up, go to Temple, and then I’d attend Mr. Temmik’s lectures about well...everything there was to talk about, and then help my family on our farm. Mr Temmik’s lectures were my favorite part of every day. It was different each time, one day he might talk to us about the nature of magic, another day about the history of the Caedan Empire. I often stayed for hours just listening to him, and was by far the most attentive of the young people there.

One day, I approached him after his lectures. Nobody usually did that, they just sat there and listened to as much as they cared to, and then left when their interest did. He was standing on his lectern, clearing it of his notes that he used to keep himself on topic, and then, he turned and saw me. He had the bushiest eyebrows, and I always loved how his long moustache moved when he talked. He raised one of his bushy white eyebrows at me and asked,

‘Hmm...A child, standing before old Mr. Temmik with, is that, interest in his eyes? Oh, what a very odd sight indeed. I wonder if he does intend to speak up, or if staring curiously is more to his liking.’ He always talked as though other people weren’t present. I liked that.

‘Well, Mr. Temmik,’ I began, I think I stuttered a bit but I don’t truly remember. ‘I was wondering, what you said about the elvish alphabet. One of the students interrupted by asking you about Armir Arrowshot, even though he should know that it’s a character made up by the author Darril Demmik for his Adventurer’s Handbook. Anyways, I would like you to finish teaching the alphabet to me.’ I was so scared. I had looked up to him like a hero, and I was worried he would tell me the same things my parents did. I was too young, it wasn’t practical, and I should spend my time working on the farm. He didn’t.

‘How truly odd,’ he began, as he took a book from his lectern, ‘Does the boy truly desire knowledge? If he does, I know where to start. This is a guide to the elvish language written by Segal Sequesterson, a linguist from Lakeview who particularly enjoys explaining the workings of other languages. If this book can’t teach you, you can’t learn.’ He stared at me with a strange look, and I could tell he was curious as to what I would do next. I promised him that I would read it, and as I noticed the sun go down, I panicked and hastily made my way home. I looked over my shoulder as I left and saw that he was smiling. I think he was glad I was paying attention to him.

When I got home, my parents asked me why I had a book. They had always been a bit confused by my, well...hunger seems to be the only word for it. I’ve always wanted to know more, especially complex things. My parents never understood it, but they accepted it, and I suppose that’s just as good. I explained to them that the book was on the elvish language, and that I was going to learn everything in it. It wasn’t a very long conversation. They asked me why I wanted to learn something so impractical, and I told them that I just did. They were the kind of people to accept that as a legitimate reason for their son to learn elvish.

To be fully honest. Learning elvish was hard. I mean really hard. It took me the whole week just to get the alphabet down, and that was the easy part. I got a little obsessed, and even started to read it during temple. After a few months went by, I managed to figure out that our temple owned a copy of The Seedling in elvish. I requested it, and they let me read it during temple, and were actually helpful with the nuances of it used in The Seedling. At the same time, I never missed a lecture, they were the highlight of my day, and the one distraction from my obsession that didn’t leave me disgruntled and frustrated.

I finally learned the whole thing by the end of winter. My six moon long obsession with learning elvish was over. I could speak it fluently for a human, which is to say I probably botched it terribly, but I could read it nearly as well as I can read Common script. I went to see Temmik early that day, I remember begging my dad to wake me up before he got to work on the farm so I could go. He did, and just before dawn’s light, I was out walking up to Temmik’s tower. He had one just outside of town. He slept there and I didn’t know much else about it, or why he needed it to be a tower. But that was about to change.

He had a bench by his tower, he would sit there and look up at the sky. He loved to do that. Anyway, there was a book on it, I thought it was a journal at first, so I decided to read it out of sheer curiosity. I knew so little about Mr. Temmik, the opportunity to learn what sort of things he thought were important enough about himself to write down was overwhelming. I couldn’t tell what some of the symbols on it were, I didn’t even know they were Draconic and Sylvanic runes, but I could read the title clear as day; ‘Temmik the Arcanist’s Introductory Book of Magic, Version 5.’ I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised to learn that he was a Wizard, but I had honestly never considered it.

I spent longer than I should have reading it. Elvish was strange, but this book was on a whole new level. For starters, it only rarely used Common as it’s script, and it occasionally trailed off into things I’d never seen before, I had to skip those parts. Overall, without knowing Draconic, Sylvan, or the actual script wizards used to transcribe spells, I could understand very little, although that didn’t stop me from reading as much as I could, and using context to understand some of the rest. It was almost like a game, as I found a word of draconic in the middle of an elvish sentence, I was able to divine its meaning elsewhere in the book.

I ended up missing temple in my sheer fascination for the challenge. It was nearly time for lecture when Mr. Temmik sat down beside me in the bench. He looked shocked to see me, and I remember I immediately apologized about a dozen times, in Common and Elvish, but he just took the blank pages I’d torn out of the back and made into notes, and smiled.

‘Well, that is curious...’ he said to himself as he perused my first few pages of notes. ‘The boy not only figured out the puzzle, but managed to decipher much of the Draconic, and a bit of Sylvan.’ He read on, and my heart pounded in my throat. I was completely embarrassed by what I had done. I’d destroyed his book in my idle curiosity, but...he was smiling as he looked through my notes. ‘He made a few errors, but none that I didn’t make when I was learning, and most of them simply paraphrase the actual text...’

When he turned to the last page of notes, his smile disappeared immediately. ‘You can write it.’ He sounded completely dumbfounded at the revelation. ‘You wrote down a word in...’ He seemed a bit angry to me, but he was excited. ‘How did you discover the meaning of this word?’ He pointed to the first word on that page, it was, well, there’s no way for me to properly say it without the two of you getting a bit of a headache, so I’ll skip it, but the point is, it was a word in the script of wizards. It means many things, but it’s biggest meaning is ‘to create’ or ‘to grow in creation’

I told him that I’d simply used the context that it appeared in later in the book, in the middle of a sentence written in the letters that were closest to Elvish. He started to smile differently as he finished the page’s notes. It was the strangest smile I’d ever seen. There was something in it that a normal smile lacks. I could tell that it meant something wonderful, and something horrible. When he finished, he looked me square in the eye and he said- well, he said the word.

I didn’t understand why he did it, but he asked me how I felt after hearing it. It was a strange experience, hearing the first true magic I’d ever learn. I felt light headed, like I could float away. It was strange, but, it didn’t hurt. I later asked him why he did that, and he explained it to me. Elves can listen to a wizard encant magic all day, and it will do them no ill, because they have magic running through their blood, even if it isn’t much. Dwarves can hear it because their bodies resist magic, like a piece of wet wood resists fire.

Humans though, we cannot. If we hear the slightest encantation, our minds struggle to accept the words. They become confused and pained, and can even kill us rather than accept them, if the encantation is potent enough. However, there are a very small minority of humans who can hear the magical words, and their minds will not flinch back, rather, the mind dives in, and feels free. I was not some simple farm boy, and I would never be able to return to that life and live satisfied, he told me. In the coming days, my mind would start to crave the magic again, because it was a part of me. I was one of the few humans capable of truly becoming a wizard. He told me that he would tell my parents, and talk with them about it. If they were willing to accept it, he would take me in as his apprentice.

That was an interesting conversation, and the first I’d ever heard where he made sure to speak as clearly and well, normally as possible. He’d just finished explaining my gift to them. He told them the fact that I was a member of an extremely small minority of humanity. He said that any human can learn a few cantrips, but only a handful in a generation had the gift that I did, the ability to master true magic. He said that if I were to dedicate myself to magic, I could potentially become an Archmage someday. That’s when mom asked her question.

‘M-My son...he can do this?’ Her eyes were scared, but happy. I’d never seen her look quite so scared before. I didn’t realize why at the time. ‘Where would he have to go to learn such things?’ She muttered

‘Well,’ Mr. Temmik began, ‘In an ideal world, I would like to take him to the Arcane Academy to learn magic from only the best of instructors. It’s every arcanist’s dream to teach one of the rare few who can truly possess his gift.’ She chewed her lip, and I realized that was why she was afraid. I was only nine, and she was afraid for me. ‘However, Mrs. River, it is not an ideal world. Even if I could find the proper components for a Teleport spell in this area, your son would hardly be able to learn much there. The Academy is for those who already have a solid foundation in magic, and is heavily observed by the Lichguard, far too heavily to promote education, especially in one such as your son. If I am honest, I think the best option for him is for him to either come to live with me, in my tower, so that I can give his education the attention it deserves. If necessary, I would be willing to reimburse you and your husband for the extra work that came along with his absence, but if he is to learn the skills he will need to truly-’ That was when my father, who had been quiet this whole time spoke up.

‘Keep your stupid money.’ He said, he was stern, and unyielding when he had fully committed his mind to something. ‘Use it to help ensure that my son can become anything in all the realms he could ever want to be.’ He gave me a hard look, one that told me that he expected me to put everything into this, all of my heart and mind and strength. He told me with that look that he was proud of me. Mr. Temmik saw that look and he smiled.

‘There are few in this village as fortunate as your son, to have a father so committed to them. In time, you may come to hear stories of his exploits, tales of his heroism, and of the monstrosities he will lay to waste.’ He paused then and said ‘There is one small matter to discuss with you, the boy must not be present for it, and it will require both of you. Does he have any siblings?’

‘None,’ my mother replied. I could tell she was trying her best not to cry. She was both happy and sad at once.

‘Well, then perhaps he should pack up his possessions and go to see his friends.’ He seemed oddly fixed on my absence. ‘He should not be here while we discuss this.’

I left, and packed my things. I didn’t have much, but it was all special to me, in the way that everything is special when you’re nine years old. When I eventually returned, I asked what was discussed. They didn’t tell me, although I was able to discern his purpose later.

Next, he took me to his tower. It was a five storied tower, the first room was for visitors, the second was an alchemy station. The fourth was a library, and the fifth was his room. The third had previously been a study, and he made that my room. He even conjured me a bed in there.

Now, apprenticeship is a very, particular endeavor. To be honest, everything depends on your master. He is the one who chooses what school of magic to start you with, which cantrips you should learn, and how much of your time should be split between studying new things, and practicing spells you’ve learned. My mentor was very...indirect in his approach. He would teach me the principals of magic by laying out on my desk a series of books, whichever I brought to him would be the focus of that week’s lessons. By my first year, I had mostly finished the basics, and I was halfway fluent in Draconic.

The second year of my tutelage is when I started to learn my first cantrips, I think you may have heard of them as ‘learner spells’, they’re a bit of magic that’s weaker than a true spell, but still useful in a pinch. I wasn’t surprised when master Temmik determined my focus by laying out eight books on the table, one for each of the schools of magic; Abjuration, Conjuration, Divination, Enchantment, Evocation, Illusion, Necromancy, and Transmutation. What I did find surprising was how...different the books were. Each had a different colored binding, which I expected. what I did not anticipate was how each one made me feel...Abjuration made me feel safe inside, while Necromancy made me feel...as though my blood were alight with power. I took a while with the decision, almost a month, and by the last day, Temmik was getting more and more curious at what I would choose.

Finally, he came to me as I stared at the books and ran my hand along each in turn. It was the first time he’d ever really forced me to make a decision.

‘Hmm...I wonder what the apprentice will pick.’ He said to me, his eyes showed anticipation and curiosity that had been neglected far too long. ‘Will he pick Abjuration, the school of defense?’ He asked, as my hand lingered over the sky blue book, ‘No, I do not think he will, it is quite useful, but abjuration is hardly the most exciting school, a young wizard like my student will tend to something more dramatic.’

My hand slowly moved to the next book, it was an green tome, ‘Perhaps Conjuration then? It is certainly a powerful school in the right hands, but no...he will not find it encaptivating. It will bore him.’

My hand made it’s way to the yellow tome that was next, ‘Divination?’ He gave out a laugh ‘No. Absolutely not. Merciful gods, my apprentice, a diviner? Not a chance in Limbo.’

I shrugged, and moved my hand to the orange tome which was next, ‘Enchantment? Now there’s an interesting one, an enchanter can bend the will of those around them like puppets on strings. It is possible, but he should ask himself if such power he will use responsibly?’

I sighed, I remember starting to wish he would just tell me which to take. I moved my hand to the tome of crimson. ‘Ha, Evocation certainly has flair, but my apprentice isn’t one to take the road most travelled by’

Next, I put my hand over a tome which was a violet shade, he stroked his long moustache, ‘Illusion? Curious, I would expect that he would choose something a bit more exciting, although he does have the mind for it.’

As my hand moved over the black tome, and towards the final one, he paused me ‘He does not wish to learn Necromancy, curious. I would like to know why.’

‘It makes me feel strange to touch this one’ I admitted, he nodded in approval, as though that was as it should be.

My hand moved towards the last tome, it was a soft pearl shade. ‘Transmutation...Hmm possible, helpful enough on an adventure, although only if one has allies, rather difficult for the mage who goes it alone, as my apprentice will often have to.’ That was when I snapped.

‘Will you just tell me!?’ I shouted, I had been struggling all month with this decision, and then he basically told me that none of them were right for me. ‘I’ve been trying all month to pick, and I’m no closer than when I first laid my eyes upon them! I don’t care anymore! I just want to learn something, anything! I don’t care if it’s too common, or needs responsibility, or isn’t showy enough!’ My hand moved on it’s own, curled it’s fingers around a book by instinct, I remembered feeling a sense of safety, I raised the blue tome up in my hand and felt secure in my choice. ‘Here! This one! Teach me to be an abjurer, if it will settle this matter!’ I shouted.

‘Abjuration...’ He began, as he eyed the book in my hand, his lips curved into a devilish smile, as though my outburst was exactly what he had wanted. ‘Now, that is interesting...’

The next few years of my apprenticeship were spent learning the protective power of Abjuration. I’d go into the details, but frankly they would bore even you, Sehine, so I’ll skip to the actual start of my quest. It was a few moons back. I’d already learned all I could in Abjuration there, so he was helping me branch out into some Evocation and Transmutation, I didn’t know why at the time, but now I’m beginning to think Master Temmik was getting me ready for, well, this.

We had been deep in the forest, he had been teaching me some alchemy, and he found something he wanted to show me. It was a plant with thin leaves, and which had a flower that was bright pink with a dark blue center.

‘Does my apprentice know this plant?’ he asked curiously, when I shook my head, he continued ‘That is because I have not taught it to him. It is called Kingsbane, and it is a very tricky little thing. If the blue of the petals is ground up, it will make a rather potent healing tonic when mixed with dragontail and fresh water. However, if even the smallest portion of the pink, or even the tiniest hint of it’s nectar are imbibed, death will certainly follow. It is a very dangerous plant, but also a very important one.’

I eyed the plant with curiosity, it didn’t seem dangerous, in fact it would probably escape most people’s note in a noble’s garden or a flower shop. I smiled, marvelled by how much power could be in such an innocent seeming plant.

That was when we heard a loud roar, coming from near the city. I had only heard a roar like that once before, when he was showing me an example of Divination, and I asked him if I could see a dragon.

We raced back to town, as quickly as we could, the whole time our travel was haunted by roaring and the sound of foul breath spewed forth by the most wicked of creatures. By the time we made it to the outskirts, the entire place was clouded in a green haze. Tears filled my eyes as my master spoke.

‘Does my apprentice know what sort of dragonbreath lingers in a green haze?’ he asked, as he looked around for the dragon.

‘Acid breath, sir...’ I replied, I could see from here that nowhere in the entire town was spared. Even the farms were destroyed and tainted by the evil haze. ‘from a black dragon.’ I finished. I don’t remember how long I cried before he spoke up.

‘I wonder if my apprentice, can tell what happened here without divination?’ he asked. I didn’t know why he was doing it, making me see it, stoking my anger.

‘The dragon must have flown by and known of the town, probably that it was out of the way. Or maybe he stumbled upon it, it’s hard to tell.’ I looked at the destruction wrought, there were no guards that I could see, and bodies seemed to be pretty scattered. ‘He took out the armory first, probably having guessed that it would be the second largest building, which means he must be old enough to shapeshift and infiltrate many places, or that he’s old enough to have seen several places and know that most Caedan towns tend to have similar layout.’ My heart crumbled as I watched the desolate scene, some of the bodies were twitching. I wanted to go to them, to help them, but I knew that the acid would be potent enough that none would survive it.

‘Next’ I continued, after a quiet pause, ‘he hit the temple, so that any clerics would be incapable of healing the damage done.’ The temple was broken, stones lay scattered around it’s ruin, and it could hardly be recognized. ‘He finished by destroying the tower, he would have targeted it earlier, but there were no wizards attacking him, so he may have assumed it to be abandoned, he smashed it anyway, and would likely have taken anything that looked valuable from it and the town hall.’ I trembled as I finished, I can still remember the feeling of helplessness as I spoke. ‘Then he swept the town for survivors and destroyed them.’

‘Yes...’ My master replied, his eyes were sad as he looked over the complete devastation that had been wrought upon our peaceful town. ‘My apprentice is right. That is how it happened...’ he stayed quiet for a while before adding, ‘Does he know what we should do next?’ After a while, I replied, my voice was ragged from sobbing.

‘We should find shelter until the morning, when we can be certain it’s gone, you can clear the fog of acid with a fairly simple evocation. Then we should search for survi-’ I paused, I knew there were none, and that it was foolish to hope. ‘We should go to your tower, and search for anything of use he did not manage to steal. With any luck, there will be enough to help us make our way to Waelstrad. From there, we can make our way to the Arcane Academy and you can apply as an educator, while I will have to apply as a prospective student.’ I had never felt more defeated before. There was nothing that could be done, at least, not that I could see.

‘That is an interesting idea, however, it will require revision.’ he remarked. ‘My apprentice and I are undocumented magic-users, and the Lichguard would put us through something that is worse than death. It is sadly not an option, and yet, the destruction of Lorith mustn’t go unnoticed.’ He took a long pause, and I could tell he was thinking hard, wanting the solution to be anything other than what he feared it was.

‘This is what will happen,’ he began, ‘I must go to the Imperial City and report on the destruction of Lorith I will be imprisoned and tried by the Lichguard. You will make your way to the city of Slavenbog. There, you will meet with a man named Jame Jorval. You will give him this coin,’ he said, as he handed me a gold coin with the strangest symbol on it I’ve ever seen. It looked like a dragon’s head in front of a crossed sword and staff. ‘You will tell him what has happened, and that Temmik has sent you. He will find you allies against the black dragon, and in slaying it, you shall avenge Lorith.’ His eyes closed quietly and when they opened again, they were bright green spheres of light. ‘The dragon who had destroyed Lorith is named Narthegal. You will find it’s lair in the Blackwood Swamps. It will show no mercy.’

After that, we searched through the ruins of Lorith, I buried my family and found a few things to help with the journey. I put them in a bag of holding, which I’ve now foolishly lost to bandits, or goblins or gods know what.

So there, that’s my story, Sehine. I was raised a farm boy, illegally taught magic, my town was laid to waste, and now I’m here, miles from home, on a mission to slay what must be at the very least a two centuries old dragon, and I’ve no weapons, equipment, or food.” Aust was in tears, curled up on a stone by the fire.

Sehine and Kael sat on either side of him, each with an expression of shock and sorrow worn. Then, Aust felt a slap to the back, and Kael spoke

“Aust, you are in the greatest of luck. I happen to be a very skilled tracker, and I’d wager I can find the skivheads who robbed you.” Kael wore a smile, he was always quick to get over sadness, and the feeling of purpose that his words gave Aust actually forced a slight smile to his face. As Kael stood, and began to take inventory of his own weapons, Aust felt a warm, soft hand touch his neck.

“Worry not, Aust.” Sehine whispered to his ear, “We will find them, and retrieve your possessions,” a slight smile crossed her face next, as she whispered, “and a cleric’s promise is always honored.”

Comments & reviews · 2
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Sonder
Review
Sonder wrote a review · Sun Mar 29, 2015 8:22 pm

Hey there! Happy Review Day. Night here for a quick review.

For future reference, I can guarantee that you will get more reviews if you cut this into two or three parts. I'm going to be honest and say that I only skimmed the chapter. There is simply too much content packed into the first chapter and this one for a reader to focus without a break. View chapters as intermissions. You can end it in the middle of the action, and the reader can take a breath. I know it costs more points on here, but it's a decent price to pay for better feedback.

This said, I'm going to mostly focus on grammar.

I saw incorrect dialogue, run-on sentences, and a lot of telling the reader what is going on, instead of showing. For this reason, it was difficult for me to lock on and actually read the whole thing. I'd suggest these links:

Punctuation within Dialogue

Dialogue

These two are good for dialogue stuffs. I also noticed that you were using apostrophes instead of quotations for dialogue, which is incorrect.

Run-on Sentences

This is good for run-on sentence education. :)

Show and Tell

This is good for spicing up your piece. :)

Overall, I think that you have a very interesting fantasy idea going on, and have created a very elaborate culture and characters. However, I don't think I can properly review this piece because it is so long and difficult for me to focus on. Cut it apart, repost it in sections, and I assure you that you will get very detailed reviews. :)

Happy writing!

~Night

User avatar
Que
Review
Que wrote a review · Sun Mar 29, 2015 4:14 am

Hello again, Marak.
Alright, so this chapter was pretty good, and no typos that I could see. However, if Aust I narrating his entire story, the some adjustments should be made.
First, if he is speaking the whole time, you should have quotation marks at the beginning of each paragraph where he's speaking, but not at the end until he is done. Also, you may want to have Kael and Sehine interject or question Aust in the middle of his story sometimes to make it seem realistic.
Last, if Aust is talking about his past, maybe use more action oriented words and less specific details. One cannot remember exact dialogue from every past conversation and recite it perfectly in front of strangers.
Other than that, a good job. Again, nice going with the culture and history. It makes the world seem real.
-Falconer



If you can't get out of your comfort zone, you'll never find what you're looking for. Don't make things quick and easy to feel better short term. Make a change and then you'll feel better longer term.
— Frinderman