I live the life
Without a life
No one to love
No one to cry
I want to feel loved
I want to be liked
If I had heart
I would have cried
The gallons of tears
I would have poured
If fountain of tears
Would not have dried
Life is a boon
O` yes, its a boon
Only for me
It is a goon
For it has tricked me
To live for ever
Forced me to have
Love for never
Life is a curse
I have to live
Nothing to gain
Nothing to give
The pain of my life
Really too deep
If I had died
I would be heave
I hear that Hellsing is looking for me
He wants to change me into debris
The river of tears that I had dried
Somehow it was again revived
There is something dripping from my eyes
After centuries now I have cried.
It was a misery
for all my life
Now I feel good
I feel alive
My misery is gone
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Hi there, have a nice day!
The title of the poem really attracted me to read it. I though it tells the story of a vampire/Dracula. Apparently it was just a symbol / metaphor. The poem begins with a few short lines written to highlight the impact that could conceivably be more favorable to the poem.
It's a good start with a keyword of life without direction. I love how it starts with a simple way but still be able to bring an amazing impact to the reader.
The second line begins to show the real conflict happens to the poet. It is the conflict of life that often happens to people where they want to be loved / liked.
I am impressed with these lines. For me it has an implied meaning; it’s more than just a word.
Although the next stanzas seems a bit confusing with the statement that looks 'contrary', I think it should be aware so that the goal of the poem does not deviated from its path.
I'm trying to find a reason Why are these two lines are written in a new stanza with the word 'Hellsing' that really ask to be given attention. So I look for the meaning and found that it's from a Japanese anime (also related to the vampire). I just feel it does not give exciting effect in the poem. Or otherwise, this poem is actually inspired from the anime itself.
I noticed that it is very enthralling when you give rhythms on your poem. It runs smoothly without looking 'overburdened / trapped' with the rhythm that you have created. You also have given a conclusion in the poem.
You said that your misery has given you the real meaning of life when it’s started to ‘make sense’ within yourself.
Imageries are also good with the use of metaphor and simile (though it's simple). Various other styles of writing you have tried to expand the effect of the poem. A great way to try out! Keep it up.
Kudos, cheers.
Thank you for your beautiful review.
"I hear that Hellsing is looking for me
He wants to change me into debris"
This stanza was a platform for showing that Dracula has a way to be free from his cursed life. There is a myth that the guy named Hellsing "a vampire slayer" is the only enemy of Dracula who is capable of killing him.
I felt that it was necessary for creating the path to end this poem.
Hello, mangesh.
This poem seemed oddly interesting (in a good way.) I loved every part of the poem. You should write more, you are very good at this. Anyways, my favorite part of the poem was the lines:
Because that's how I feel everyday of my life. Anyways, keep up the good work! You're an awesome poet x3
- K
John 3:16: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Thank you! Please don't feel lonely. That is too sad..
Thank you all for your comments. The "i" was a honest mistake I made while posting this poem. I apologize for this mistake and assure you that it will never be repeated.
You can easily edit it. Just go to your 'portfolio' and select "edit work".
Hello, I am here to review. I really thought that this was a great poem that you wrote. I read the book Dracula by Bram Stoker and who isn't obsessing over vampires now? I am glad to see people write about the long-time legend. It is even better to see Dracula's other side and how he really feels. I would just keep in mind to capitalize your "I"s and if you are going to rhyme in some parts, think about making the whole thing rhyme. Other than a few marks, this is a great poem. I am also glad to see that someone is on the "bad" side because sometimes they are misunderstood. Great job!
Thank you very much. I would like to assure you that this mistake will never be repeated again.
I hope that I helped you out a bit. By the way, could you review my poem, Mirage, for me? No one has seen it except one person and they didn't leave a review. I can't improve unless reviewed... Thanks!
I enjoyed this poem very much! I'm very pleased that someone is still keeping Dracula alive. The only bit of criticism that I have for this is that it's a little bit awkward. Perhaps add a few "a"s and "the"s. If used properly, it won't interrupt the metre.
Thank you for your lovely poem and keep writing!
Thank you!! Thank you for reading my poem. I will definitely take your advice.
What a great poem, it really helps the reader to feel for Dracula. However one thing that I would change is you need to add capital I's mid sentence. That tends to put off many readers when they see someone using improper grammar. It would be a shame for someone not to read this and miss out. It tends to be a rarity for someone to add sympathy to a long hated character but you pulled it off well and for that I applaud you. Well done and keep up the good work.
Thank you very much. It means a lot.