it has always been this partial;
voiding and all consuming, full,
but only of the undone wishes.
my hands had never felt such warmth
it scarred my palms; left burns
on my knuckles and it came to me
like it comes through the milky way;
dark and mysterious, controlling all
of its inner feelings. we are whole;
we are partial, waxing, waning,
gibbous, full, half, new.
it's all the same to me.
stars as gauze, asteroids
as means of reconnecting.
it is dark here, and it has
been all-consuming.
you have never seen a distance
quite like this.
we draw lines between stars
connecting, mapping, charting,
as if the sky is so small we can
pave our way through it.
but farther in, each line becomes
infinitely amplified to forever,
all-consuming, the distance between stars.
to feel partial
is to feel only as a moon
that takes light, never gives,
and washes over
on one side with
a silver glow.
the light I took never filled me,
the darkness I kept always lingered.
to feel whole
is to be a star, always distant,
but bright and powerful evermore,
and never consuming
more.
I gripped light in my hands so hard
I felt my skin go undone,
and never felt so partial.
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hello Ant and herb! Lim here with a review.
The poem seems to play with concepts of emptiness, fullness and light, and play with the idea of contrast between these things. The first lines seem deliberately paradoxical, like “full . . . of undone wishes”, “voiding and all-consuming”. I think the effect of this is to portray the “partial”-ness as being emotionally intense – ordinarily we might think of feeling empty or incomplete as a passive emotion, but by comparing it to being “all-consuming” and saying something is FULL of emptiness, I think that portrays it as a very strong feeling. I think the poem focuses more on the “partial” emptiness, with things that are “full” brought in to juxtapose the emptiness against. The feeling of being partial is described from the inside, but there’s no equivalent part for the feeling of being full - instead the star is described from the outside and at a distance.
Something I like about this poem is how you returned to the idea of “partial”-ness in the metaphor of the moon. I like how that brings together the space imagery and the imagery from the first lines. The metaphor just feels so fitting as well, and the contrast of the moon with a star (possibly the sun?) evokes a poetic tradition and gives a new spin on it. I also like how you did a similar kind of ‘unification’ with the last three lines of the poem. The idea of light hitting the speaker’s hands was in some of the earliest lines in the poem, so “gripped light in my hands” works as a call-back to that.
Something I still have questions about is the line of imagery in the middle of the poem: “stars as gauze, asteroids as means of reconnecting” / “we draw lines between stars, connecting, mapping, charting,”. What’s the role of ‘connection’ in the poem? Is the speaker (the moon) trying to connect with the star? I didn’t quite grasp it even after a few reads, so I thought I’d ask!
Another thing I like about this poem is how you portrayed the ‘full’ light or the stars. It makes a nice narrative foil for the speaker, who feels like they themself are maybe unable to control their emotions in comparison to this light, which is how I understood:
Overall, I thought this was a fascinating poem with dynamic play in imagery. The beginning and ending lines are both really strong, and I did notice the capitalisation of the “I” towards the end there, which makes the tone come across as more intense and convinced? Determined? My main feedback would be to think about that connecting/mapping metaphor and maybe leave a bit more of a hint as to how it fits in with the partialness and star vs moon imagery.
Hope this helps, and keep writing!
-Lim
Thank you so much for the review, Lim! Sorry for the late reply. For your question: The part I wrote, %u201Cwe draw lines between stars, connecting, mapping, charting,%u201D was meant to describe constellations, not us connecting to the stars, but rather trying to make sense of them all, if that makes sense.
Thank you again!
Ohh this is really good! Had me hooked through the whole poem. I'll come back with more thoughts later
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
First things first, WOW! This was truly awesome. I feel like there are countless ways to interpret this piece, depending on where you are in your life and what experiences you've had. The space imagery is particularly intriguing and thought-provoking, inviting readers to explore their own perspectives. Overall, you did a wonderful job crafting this poem. There's nothing negative that I can say about it; it resonates deeply and evokes a range of emotions. Keep up the fantastic work!
Thank you for the kind words!
First read: WOW, astounding!!
The space imagery is immaculate. I'm obsessed.
The way I interpret this is a mix of the idea that we as humans are made of stardust and the philosophical idea that we are the universe experiencing itself. This beautifully describes and paints what dance in my head as I ponder those ideas.
I keep re-reading this, I want it on my wall***** no critiques hehe
Thank you for the review, I'm glad you liked the poem!