my best friend's name means the sun,
and plants seem to bloom at his feet when he walks in.
no space is ever cold where he exists,
he fills it with rays of life and future.
and he brings light to shadow,
radiance becoming the ultimatum,
constant and beautiful.
--
the house my parents shelter me with is always warm.
it is only cold by the frigid air outside,
never from their gentle and beautiful spirits.
my father seals the stones of our walls,
my mother fills the rooms with air.
here, our breath expands from the compound carbon dioxide
to the animated essence of comfort.
we are safe here.
--
the boy i surrender my dreams to never keeps me cold.
his hands encapsulate mine perfectly,
like interlocked words.
when he is distant, he really never is.
i feel a gentle flame flicker across my chest,
and he is there, radiating beautiful warmth,
like a stone blanketed by the sun.
--
iamheldbywarmth.
yet
chills
s c a
t
t e
r
across my neck.
i glimpse at myself like a phantasm of ice,
thin fingers blackened and wrists pulled taught like tightrope.
the frost still pierces into my veins.
i am still, seething beneath the skin,
and under all of the frozen layers,
--
there is a child.
under the sun.
tossing stones.
--
dreaming.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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i loveee this poem! the way the end is written feels very visual and starts turning into nice abstract art! it's very chilling in a great way in how it conveys being loved yet not loving yourself and the mentioning to childhood at the end where it doesnt describe a temperature is something i like because childhood is often described as simple or carefree, which is what was set in the second stanza. also, you are so smart for putting dashes inbetween the stanzas because i never even thought about doing that despite being annoyed when i'd write out my poem onto here and it'd just have no seperation. but, yea! this is such an awesome poem and i am very impressed by its amazingness! you write very well.
Thank you!!
youre welcome!
this is a very amazing poem of yours!
Thank you!
This poem was so beautifully made. What also made me read this is because, when I think I was younger I made up a story about an Ice princess who was always so cold, and firm, but then she meets this guy who is like a golden retriever; always happy and such.
''the boy i surrender my dreams to never keeps me cold.
his hands encapsulate mine perfectly,''
This part just was so cute and romantic to me. How you said that he never keeps you cold, but his hands are almost like a soft warm embrace. I liked how you also used the word encapsulate.
Overall this is a very good poem, and I really enjoyed it!
Thank you for the review!