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Hey hey, Ardently here for a review!!!

Firstly I really liked how you formatted this poem. It's a little unconventional, but I'm a fan of unconventional poetry formats. And I like the effect it has, when it breaks up the lines.

From what I saw in the other reviews, rigor mortis is the stage of death where the limbs stiffen, and I think it really works as a title. It gives a sense of being trapped, which your last paragraph also gives. This idea that what was once comfortable is now hurting and stifling, but there's no way to escape, much like a corpse in rigor mortis is hard to move. The insects also bring it back to this idea, with flies laying eggs on corpses and the narrator once choosing to remain among them, but now being trapped.

It's quite visceral, the way it's written. There's imagery, that's so bleak and dark. "Fly-egged eyes" and "lingering wasp stingers" is so painful and dark and it contrasts well with just naming the insects a few lines earlier. In a way it reminds me of addiction, but really any toxic life choice, whether it's self-harm or hanging out with a bad group of people or anything else. The whole idea of choosing that life, knowing how harmful it is, and then seeing even deeper and wanting out, but being trapped in the result of your choices.

~ Ardently <3 ~

Good day! This is silentreader to give you a review.

Rigor mortis (Latin: rigor "stiffness", mortis "of death"), the third stage of death, is one of the recognizable signs of death, caused by chemical changes in the muscles post mortem, which cause the limbs of the corpse to stiffen.In humans, rigor mortis can occur as soon as 4 hours post mortem. (Based on the internet)

Honestly speaking, your poem was good because it gives me a new knowledge and adds something on my vocabulary. But as I've read every single line, it lefts me hanging. It seems that you were just breaking a sentence into lines just to make it a poem. In addition, there is no proper usage of punctuation marks because when reading your stanzas it makes me feel like reading a single sentence. Also, when making a poem, each line must have meaning which cannot be seen on some lines of your work.

Try to make a poem that captivates the eye of a reader by using figurative language that can help your work to be more interesting. By means of using this, it can add spice on your work. And It is good to read that you are using it on your work.

I still had a hard time thinking of something that lacks on your work. But anyways, thanks for sharing this. Continue writing and improve your skill. Never give up.

My constructive criticism are just based on my own perspective and knowledge. Hope you like it.

Thank you and God bless

Oooh, a shiny new poem? *nods appreciatively*

Hmmm, the definition of rigor mortis is the stiffening of the limbs of a newly-dead creature. It is an appropriate title for the poem, I think, since the narrator is, if one takes the metaphors literally, going through a painful and agonizing fate that may, if it has not already, kill them. This poem, in that sense, manages to be simple, yet profound. "Fly-egged eyes" and "lingering wasp stingers" are vivid images that demonstrate aptly the feelings/the agony of the narrator on their attempts to be recognized by the night. They both make me want to vomit, sure, but they're conveyed wonderfully, and define this poem's message on the consequences of being absorbed into the homogeneous nature of society effectively. I admit that, given their significance, uniqueness, and strength, the metaphors make the poem a bit imbalanced, as it were. The second half feels far stronger than the first, though I admire the way they're bridged by "spiders; roaches;". That space is distinctive for me, as it conveys to me that there's a huge amount of depth between the two words and the actions of the narrator related to them. Hence, as short as it is, it is my favorite part of the poem.

As for the start of the poem, I didn't much like the line break at "more/often" - it was just too awkward for me. Beyond that, "so much more/often" is unnecessary. To me, it's clutter, and interrupts the streamlined nature of the poem and its message. Since that part suggests an almost total connection between being accepted and sleeping in beds of spiders and roaches, it may be better to ditch that part and go straight for the total connection, as it's basically the same thing. That might be the best way to keep the strongest elements of the first stanza and allow it, with its cohesive, smooth message, to hold up against the second stanza. Regardless, this is a fantastic poem with a resounding theme, and certainly more original than 99% of the poetry I've seen commenting on society, especially in its dark mood and rather grisly imagery. Well done!

Hello Lumi, let me see if I can brush off my lit analysis gloves.
-Dons gloves-Cracks hands-

The poem "rigor mortis" by Lumi Lumiton heavily relied upon the title to lift the majority of the idea from the poem. While this is the style of many poems in the current writing habits, it can often lead to trouble for literary analysis. Because of that, we will look strictly at the text of the poem itself and then delve into the ideas. This poem handles acceptance in a way that may reflect upon the lives of a marginalized group. In many ways this is mostly about the standard wealth deviation between groups who are marginalized and those who are not. The poem's first stanza deals with this deviation as it discusses wealth, rest, and acceptance together. In suggesting that those who are comfortable with bugs may find comfortable sleep anywhere, but later, upon realizing the placement the individual had among society, it was recognized that this was nowhere to be. Next if we look at the connotation of roaches, a bug which is frequently shown as being among the poor and marginalized groups in public displays of degradation such as cartoons and television programs, along with it's lonely placement on it's own individual line, we can see that this individual may have once occupied a state of being marginalized and has somehow gone beyond that. Finally, we must look at the title to understand what has changed, as the author doesn't share that between the three small stanzas in the poem. This is a problem for literary critics at times because we are often taught not to read the title before the poem. In this case, the title was a major clue to the meaning of the poem so trying to analyze it without the title is pointless. Upon death, the speaker has reached a value above that which is required to sleep with the bugs and be damaged by them, and that is the irony of the poem. This shows us that the poem itself is discussing the cultural difference between those marginalized and those not.

To begin this discussion, the poem opens with a stanza strictly about the acceptance and warmth felt with lines like "to feel accepted/in the night" which represents not only an acceptance in things which are usually connotated with good and pure, but also with those which may be considered shady, or underhanded, such as the night. The poem implies with this first stanza that the only acceptable social thing to do in order to feel this way is to sleep with bugs, which means that it is not only the norm for the society, but the enforced norm. This is something which people do as a point of doing it, not something to avoid, or something they do in shame. We see this in the phrasing "I had to sleep" with the strong use of "had" versus another word choice. Together, this means that this is a society which the individual is choosing to operate within. They feel as though they belong and in order to belong well, they must do these accepted rituals such as sleep with spiders and roaches.

The separation of roaches is an interesting point in the poem. As with any individualized word, it develops a sense of independence, and the word "roaches" can mean so many different things such as connections with drugs, and dirty living. In video games such as "Animal Crossing" by [I don't remember] and tv shows such as "Courage the Cowardly Dog" by [I also don't remember] we have a strict relationship between roaches and negative things. To stand alone almost as a point of pride could mean two things. It could mean that spiders are more acceptable bedmates than roaches, and so roaches must be shoved away, as an unconscious way for the speaker to remove themselves from their disgust, or, it could mean the opposite. Roaches may be the one thing that can actually get you "in" the society of those who choose to sleep with bugs as a ritual. This may also be the case as roaches are seen in popular tv programs to be allies to the negative figures, and it is often an unconscious [perhaps conscious] common practice to put marginalized groups in negative roles, which may lead to a sense of identity with negative images such as roaches. Another aspect of the word roach being alone is that some connotations of the word indicate that roaches are admirable things, things which are nearly invisible, and their invincibility is something to worship rather than fear or hate. With all of these interactions with the single word it is hard to decipher which exactly the author meant, and so we must ask ourselves whether the writer was writing the speaker from the perspective of someone dead or alive for that middle transition.

We know that the speaker is dead by the end of the poem due to the "rigor mortis" title, which is something that sets in only post mortem, after death. If we investigate the meaning of the first line of the last stanza, we may be able to decipher whether the "roaches" line, the second stanza, is meant to be positive or negative. "but now, I wouldn't" this line is key because of the "But now" and that indicates that this poem is written from the future rather than as time progresses. If the poem said "And now" then we could be introducing the concept that time leads on rather than against with the difference of and and but. For instance, if I said "But I considered it too long" versus "And I considered it too long" you get two dramatically different meanings. The first indicates that we are speaking in the now, about the past before. "I could have seen the game, but I considered it too long" This means that they missed the game in the past, and they are relaying the conversation. Naturally the counterpart is more of an individual statement, like the "And" is interrupting a current thought with a notice of time passing. Because of this, we may assume that the writer most likely wanted this to be from the perspective of someone who does not like bed mates. We know this because "... I wouldn't/wish these ... on anyone." which is a common phrase of complete disgust from someone who has learned better after experiencing someone. In this way, we can see that "roaches" is most likely off-set due to a feeling of disgust rather than admiration.

As we now know that the poem is written after death, we can understand that the speaker is relaying information about equality. Before, when they were alive, they knew no better than sleeping with bugs and now that they are dead, they find the practice so disgusting, they wish it on no one. The speaker isn't even vengeful enough to wish it on their worst enemy because the practice is so out-of-sync with how they now understand life due to being dead. In a way, that makes this a commentary about how awfully the poor and marginalized are treated, but it is also a commentary on the societies that have been developed, and our expectations after death. The writer is living, and this was not written by a ghost, so our writer is imposing upon the speaker that the idea of sleeping with bugs is too gross to consider once you know the truth of the universe, or once you are literally with the bugs in the grave.

To develop this, we can now surmise that, in a way, allowing societies to force one another into sleeping with bugs creates an environment where they are dead people walking. This is oftentimes how ignored or degraded marginalized groups feel, as well as the poor and homeless. They are treated as those who have gone out of their place and are invading the land of the living, those who live without bugs, and so the poem comes full circle, demanding action against a society which has formulated itself around practices like this, while fighting against our desires to respect their choices, such as allowing people to do what they please in their beds.

In total, the poem handles a complex issue of degradation with very few words, and it is easy to overlook. The poem doesn't provide much commentary about why, or how, or even what we should do, but it provides us with a vivid image of the writer's feelings as shown through the speaker of the poem.

Aley

Hey, AJ here!

Ooh... This is cool! Personally, I'm a little more of a stickler on poetic style, but I try to loosen up about that every once in a while. And this poem is well worth it.

A few suggestions and critiques:

- I often struggle with poems that don't have punctuation. It is a distinct style, but it always just runs together when I try to read it. (Kinda like a pool of gravy without mashed potatoes! Or maybe I'm just hungry...) Maybe play with adding a couple commas or a period to break up the lines

- The "roaches" line is a cool effect, but it doesn't seem to be enough. Also, I don't really feel anything in this poem, physically. Maybe adding something like,
"roaches;
scuttling legs over skin,
(something else that I can't think of)
I think the reader ought to hear the insects moving and/or have the feeling of bugs crawling over their skin. I think that would add to the effect. Again, just a suggestion. Sometimes short and sweet is better.

I love the last few lines. I wouldn't change a thing there!

This really is a cool poem. Poetry is meant for conveying ideas and things like this, and you have certainly used that engine for the greater good! Fantastic poem

Now to go find me some taters, preciousss!

Keep on writing, and happy RevMo!
-AJ