Published July 24, 2011
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
This was defiantly a really happy love-y poem and it was really cute. It wasn't too sappy, but sappy enough to get the point across that it was this cute little fling or love or..whatever you would like to call it. Haha. But either way, I can't complain about it because it was so cute. It might be old but it is still cute and sweet. I liked all the imagery and the way you wrote it was if the person was watching it happen. And it was so cute.
Anyway if you need anything else (more critiquing or anything) just message me!
-Hayley
Keep writing this was adorable!
Awww!! What a wonderful poem! I really like it!
This is definitely one of those feel-good, happy poems
I could just picture the whole thing as I was reading the poem! One line that I'm not quite sure about tho, "A gentle breeze to toss my hair". Maybe think of using "A gentle breeze gently tosses my hair"... Although your line could be more effective? haha, maybe just check what the other reviewers have to say. I really did enjoy it tho - was like reading a fairytale story
xxx
This poem is so cute! Although you definitely know what is coming, I think it is one of those feel-good happy-ending poems the hopeless need to hear every once in a while. The only thing I thought was a bit awkward was the word "gratefully", maybe "gracefully" would sound better? In either event, keep up the writing!