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Today and Tomorrow

by LucidNightmare


Tomorrow is going to be partly cloudy,

Today I am waiting,

Tomorrow there will be cake,

Today I am anticipating.

Tomorrow I will see balloons,

Today I will be patient,

Tomorrow is going to be tuesday,

Today her smile is radiant.

Tomorrow we will go shopping,

Today I am still waiting,

Tomorrow they will sing to me,

Today the wait is degrading.

Tomorrow has come,

I don’t have to wait anymore,

Never again.


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Fri Jul 05, 2024 9:08 am
TUMININU22 says...



tomorrow is your favorite day
a day to be happy
loved reading the poem and thanks for sharing




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Fri Jul 05, 2024 9:07 am
TUMININU22 says...



tomorrow is your favorite day
a day to be happy
loved reading the poem and thanks for sharing




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Wed Jun 26, 2024 3:49 pm
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AnotherCrowInRow wrote a review...



Hi! I'm here with a seriously short review of this poem.
I'll say right from the start that I really liked it. Other statements are likely to be just different variations on this statement. I like how you use the difference between "Tomorrow" and "Today".
The poem is very minimalistic, but even so everything the reader needs or wants to know is clear. We know that the main character's birthday is almost here, and it is clear from the poem that he is dealing with something more. Still, it's written in a way that sounds more like a suicide note.
You have a very simple writing style that I really liked. A person can read a poem several times and still realize something different.
Have a nice rest of day/night/whatever and stay safe :)




LucidNightmare says...


Thank you!



AnotherCrowInRow says...


You are welcome :)



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Tue Jun 25, 2024 6:20 am
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OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...



Hi.

...

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WROTE ANOTHER POEM??! AHHHH I got so excited the second I saw this I was like OoO wait hold on let me look at that author again is that Lucid?? I almost didn't see this and that would have been a TRAGEDY!! How did you get through the whole day of us being together literally all day and NOT tell me?? Oh, perhaps you didn't think it was a big deal? I think it is. I'm freaking out right now. You have no idea how many bubbles are racing through my head right now. (And Marshmallows.)

I just gotta say - I love the way you do poetry. It's got this sweet repetitiveness to it, that is both not too much and makes every line feel that much more connected, and yet that much more special? The style is actually so unique and I don't think I've seen someone use repetition like this this masterfully before.

Only thing I'm confused about actually has nothing to do with the poem itself. It seems like this is a poem about a birthday, but I know your birthday is over in December... not in... you know... June... unless you've had a different birthday our entire lives that I had no idea about. It seems to be a celebration of some kind tomorrow, at least the way you're describing it with cake and balloons and singing. I'm actually so confused what are you referencing??? It's not your birthday, it's not my birthday, it's not our dad's birthday, it's not our mom's birthday, I don't think it's any of our aunts or uncles birthdays (like we'd know or be close enough to celebrate with them). Plus, the way you're describing it makes it sound like it's happening to you. Another reviewer also mentioned it sounds a bit like a suicide note at the end there and your sister has officially gone into panic mode. You okay buddy? (Okay sorry, sorry, probably over-reacting, and over-analysing...)

Okay, back to the review. I love the way you use "Today" and "Tomorrow" in different ways. You often use synonyms to use things to describe "today", like waiting and being patient and the such, while "Tomorrow" is described with things that you're saying will happen; more fun things and more vivid things. You're saying how so much more will happen tomorrow, and it's kind of a cool theme I've seen before. Like, today won't be as great as tomorrow, and tomorrow will always have amazing things. (But it's not always true.)

Tomorrow is going to be tuesday,

Hmm, well tomorrow is a Tuesday! (as of this being posted and of me writing this review) This just adds to that "what are you talking about" part of my brain that won't shut up. I wanna know what you're referencing soo bad, like, ??? What party? What birthday? What cake? What shopping? I have so many questions (and you better answer them, missy ;) )

Tomorrow has come,

I don’t have to wait anymore,

Never again.

I LOVE this part. Not only does it end everything very nicely, it also is full of so much meaning I just wanna !!!! I kind of expected this to end sad, and in a way it does, at least with some inferences. But often media will depict Tomorrow as something that will never come, that it will always be out of reach. The simple line, "Tomorrow has come," is so beautiful in so many ways. But now, again, (yes I know, sorry) what do you mean by never again? What is it that you're referring to? Is our mom going to go buy you something, so you'll never have to wait again for that thing? Are you actually certain you won't be around for another tomorrow?? I'm so curious and I want to know absolutly everything TELL me PLEASE.

Also, you set this up so well. Partly cloudy is not something you'd expect, so it grabs the reader's interest, and it sets up the rest of what the poem will be about, and it paints a vivid picture. All of that. 7 words. *claps*

Even between the Today, Tomorrow cycle, you still continue the little story you set up here. In other words, it isn't a bunch of synonyms describing the same thing forever. As the poem goes on, the meaning changes, and you add and built more and more as you continue. I just think that's so... lovely. :D

I wish I had more to say, but ahhh this poem is too short. Write longer stuff. (Just kidding; longer isn't necessarily better. Write whatever length you want!)

I hope you're having an amazing day, friend! When you read this (if you read this) I just want you to know that I love you. I really missed you when you were away, and I loved spending today with you. (Sorry I was a little pushy and overbearing.) Keep writing, [Lucid]. You are talented, more talented than you know, and the world needs to hear whatever my little bean wants to say. ^^

(Totally didn't accidently write our real names a few times, nooooo...)




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Mon Jun 24, 2024 11:56 pm
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Ley wrote a review...



Image

Hello fellow writer! Ley here to write a tortoise-y review on this amazing work you've published! This is a new review style that I'm using only for the month of June, in spirit of the Great Tortoise Race! Let's get started, 'shell' we? xD

Shell Start:
Hello! I really enjoyed the structure of this poem. It was perfect, and to me, looks very aesthetically pleasing! To me, it feels like this poem is about what it feels like to anticipate a special day, such as your birthday. Though, I interpreted is as it leaning more towards the negative side, which honestly, I'm not mad at! Birthdays can be dreadful and sometimes come off as repetitive.

Favorite Leaf:

My favorite few lines were these:

Tomorrow they will sing to me,

Today the wait is degrading.

Tomorrow has come,

I don’t have to wait anymore,

Never again.


These lines really spoke to me, and they were the perfect way to end this poem! I really enjoyed the conclusion, because I found myself nodding along to the beat of the poem. I hope that your birthday ends up being exactly what you want (if it is your birthday, of course) <3


Shell Fractures:
I don't usually like pointing out suggestions when it comes to poetry because I feel like poetry if a form of art, and every author has their own way of expressing inner emotions. Either way, this poem is amazing, and I don't have any critique for it anyways! :D

Overall:
Overall, this poem was awesome. I hope to read more of your work in the future! Keep on writing~

Thank you for taking the time to read this review! I hope to see you join the race, and keep being awesome! Happy Writing~

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LucidNightmare says...


It's not my birthday. In fact, this poem has nothing to do with me at all! My dad just told me that tomorrow would be partly cloudy. That is my only inspiration for this work.



Ley says...


Oh, okay! Either way, the poem was great <3



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Mon Jun 24, 2024 6:33 pm
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Coffeewriter wrote a review...



Hi there its Coffee here to drop a cake filled review! Let’s get started!!
First of all, I love how it’s structured and how creative the idea of today and tomorrow is. It’s wonderful as it represents exactly how we think! I always look forward to tomorrow or other events in the future that excite me so I don’t break down essentially about how boring or lonely I sometimes am!

“ I don’t have to wait anymore,

Never again.

I was quite confused by this line. What does it mean by never again? Won’t they have to wait until next year? And the next? Until they’re old and wrinkly? Then again, it also sounds like a suicide letter by the ending. It could be a positive thing too but I don’t quite see anything other than suicidal acts that could have triggered that type of ending. Then again, just my view although, I do quite love how you ended it, it really brings together the whole poem and ends it satisfyingly!



The anticipation was practically oozing out of the screen, that particular emotion was shining but I’d advise you to bring out a range of emotions. The whole poem just gave off a layer of tension and anticipation and the happiness and excitement you feel on a special event we’re kind of washed away by the tension, y’know what I mean?



Overall, banger of a piece and well done! I love it and if it is your birthday in real life soon, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMAZING WRITER! If it isn’t, have a great day nonetheless!! ^^
Thank you for sticking around and cya! <3




LucidNightmare says...


Actually, this is a suicide letter. In the description I mentioned that the MC's birthday is tomorrow, but that's not why they're excited. Sooo... yeah.

This poem is not about me and no, it's not my birthday. It's in December.



Coffeewriter says...


Hi there! Ooh yay, I was right! Oh, that%u2019s good, I hoped it wasn%u2019t written from a personal view and oh my birthday is in December too! :)



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Mon Jun 24, 2024 3:48 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



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Hi there, my friend! My name is Ellie and I am here to leave a review for you on this lovely poem! I hope you have had a fantastic day (: Let's jump right in to the review!

First of all- I LOVE this poem!! I noticed right away that you switched between today and tomorrow statements throughout the entire piece. That is such a cool and unique format. I love the back and forth. I found that your words were very simple, easy to follow along with, but still all connected made a beautiful poem <3

So it seems like tomorrow/today might be your birthday? Or some sort of party or celebration. You talk about today being the waiting day and tomorrow being this party day with shopping and balloons and cake. But then at the end, you say that tomorrow is today! So maybe it is your (or someone else's) birthday today, or it was.

I LOVED how you wrote this ending here:

Tomorrow has come,

I don’t have to wait anymore,

Never again.


You revisit that waiting idea in the very last line, which really brings it home and ends it well. I like that full circle of revisiting that overall theme of the poem at the end. If I could give you suggestions, maybe try adding some more statements about how you feel emotionally. You mention the waiting and never wanting to do that again, but I could totally see other lines to express other emotions. Like being nervous or excited or sad.

Overall, this was a simple but lovely poem. Great work and keep on writing! I look forward to seeing more from you hopefully soon.

Your friend,
Ellie

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LucidNightmare says...


That's a good suggestion about adding more emotion lines! I will definitely try to do that next time.

But... for this poem, the MC is not feeling very many emotions. Like what one of the other people who reviewed this said, this is a suicide letter.

Sorry for leaving on a sad note. :(




So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install a lovely bookcase on the wall.
— Roald Dahl