Forest Sunset

Hey friend, I'm here to leave a review on the lovely piece of yours! Let's jump right into the review:

This song, Would be ethereal with a particular sight

all the are the same, maybe in different places but the same sky,

Oh, the sky, sit stayed the same glowing with fire from the sun and stars.

I'm there again, on top of a mountain, in a hammock, in a car in the middle of nowhere, under the stars.

That song is Je Te Laisserai Des Mots,

A beauty like the sky that shows feeling without words,

A song like the sky.

Your description beautifully captures the intertwining of nature's beauty with the ethereal quality of music, particularly the song "Je Te Laisserai Des Mots." The imagery of a forest with towering pines facing away from the road to reveal the stunning sky, painted with the colors of sunset reflected on the needles, evokes a sense of wonder and tranquility.

The experience of riding in the backseat of a car, gazing at the stars against the backdrop of the changing sky, creates a serene and introspective atmosphere. The comparison of the road's curve to the gentle sway of a hammock or the peaceful solitude of lying on a mountain blanket under the night sky adds depth to the sensory experience.

The recurring motif of the sky, with its fiery sunsets and glittering stars, serves as a constant backdrop to these moments of contemplation and connection. The parallel drawn between the song "Je Te Laisserai Des Mots" and the ever-present sky highlights the emotive power of both music and nature to evoke deep feelings without the need for words.

Overall, your description eloquently captures the transcendent experience of being transported to serene and mesmerizing landscapes through music, evoking a sense of connection to the beauty of the natural world and the ineffable emotions it inspires.

Hi, your poem is lovely.
I really love the way how you described each and every thing in such a delightful manner. The poem is really effective, it feels like we were also there with you looking at the sky and the stars. It reminded me of my summer vacation in the hills, with pine trees surrounding you from everywhere, where sun shines bright. Your poem made me visit my memories from the old days.
The poem gives peaceful and calm vibes, on the top of the mountain where you can forget all your worries and enjoy the environment.

"A beauty like the sky that shows feeling without words,
A song like the sky."

I also appreciate comparison you made between the sky and the song. You are correct, songs are just like the sky sometimes joyful and bright, sometimes sad and dark.

Your poem writing skills are very effective.
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Merci.

Hello, My Friend!

Pleasure to meet you! If you don't mind, I was hoping to review your poem today! Here we go:

This was a gorgeous poem! It really creates an experience, and the visuals it builds are so vivid and pretty. I love the incredible attention to detail with those analogies, like the embers and pinpricks, and the great color palette you mentioned. The addition of music, and this scenery passing as you pass in a car, gives it a feeling of adventure and slight nostalgia, and I really appreciated that. Brilliant!

*Ahem, as far as a more technical review goes, not much to complain about! Your descriptions and word choice are all great. As a minor recommendation, though, maybe breaking up those longer lines would help smooth it out (generally, poetry reads better when lines are close in length, but this is also subjective -especially for narrative poems).

Likewise, since you're going for a "vivid" poem, maybe sensory details could help! The feeling of the breeze against your skin or the rough fabric of the hammock, the scent of pine and the fresh night air, the sound of nocturnal chirps and the white noise created by the car against the road? Maybe. This is something I'm trying to improve in my own writing, so you wouldn't be alone if you chose to play around with them, haha.

Of course, I am not a professional, so please always take my advice with a grain of salt.

My favorite moment here would be hard to pick, but I know some close contenders! This line really drew me in when I read it:

Their needles each reflected a different color of the sunset, all showing bright, beautiful, eerie colors.

A beauty like the sky that shows feeling without words,

A song like the sky.