z

Young Writers Society



event of today

by Brigadier



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28 Reviews


Points: 930
Reviews: 28

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Fri May 03, 2019 8:52 am
Leviari wrote a review...



Hi! Here's a brief review for you:

The poem felt like a punch in my gut. And yes, that's a good thing! This piece feels very close to my experience so I found it inspiring, powerful and relatable.
I got a little lost in the last verse, I'm a bit confused with the wording "all of time". I guess it's connected with the "far away time" of verse two, but I think it's not very clear. Were you trying to say that someday you'll loose the respect you have for yourself?
I feel like this verse needs to be a little retouched, because it breaks the strong impact of the rest of this beautiful poem.

The title is very smart and catchy!

Please consider that's just my personal opinion, and I think you wrote an amazing piece.




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155 Reviews


Points: 11208
Reviews: 155

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Fri May 03, 2019 12:18 am
Toboldlygo wrote a review...



Hello there! Toboldlygo here for a review!

I think this is another fantastic poem! It's very vague and I think it's a great way to make your reader think about it. As with the other poem you posted, I recommend putting the text above or below your image because the gray on gray might be a bit hard for some people to read. I do think, though, as with the other one, that the visual effect created by the image is very cool and definitely adds to the piece!

I actually am a little unsure what the intent of this piece is. It seems like a regret of a bad experience or making a bad decision or feeling that your expectations in yourself weren't met, but I'm not really sure how the last line relates to the rest of the piece. It's a beautiful, poetic, romantic line, but I don't see the connection to the rest of the poem. And that's okay, maybe that was intentional on your part, but it comes across as disconnected when I read it.

I think that this is a very dreamy piece, and I do like that. Retrospective writing can be very cool, and this is very cool to read. I really like how much it seems to call to a past version of the point of view, as if the writer is trying to say something to himself or herself in his/her past. I think that's a really beautiful thing.

Very well done! I hope to see more of your work!

Happy Writing!

Toboldlygo




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Points: 201
Reviews: 69

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Thu May 02, 2019 10:54 pm
brookeallo wrote a review...



So I am going to review this. First of all the font is kind of big which makes not so appealing to the eye. The I in the beginning should be capitalized. It seems more of a quote than a poem, but you might have been going for a quote so, also the meaning is there. The meaning overall is very special and shows how everything is gonna end someday so whats the point basically and I just like the way it was put together so yea that is about it. Thank you for writing I hope to review some more work from you soon.





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