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Young Writers Society



The Janitors -Chapter 2 (Trash)

by LookUpThere


(Really need to improve this. Critique appreciated. :) )

Senators from all over the country argued with each other from across the room. “How the hell?”

“They are dangerous!”

“Give them a chance!”

“I thought this country was about democracy and freedom!”

The Vice President banged his hammer on the desk loudly. “Silence! The senate is divided in half upon the issue of mutant control. I as the Vice President am the tie breaker and I vote we create a new form of mutant segregation.” There were some cheers and the Vice President who was now also President banged his hammer once more “Several senators have been attacked in the past week, the president himself just yesterday. The group that have taken responsibility for these attacks are the YMA, the 'Young Mutants of America'. About ninety percent of all young mutants in this great nation are part of this shameful and despicable organization. We do not know whether our youth have been tainted but we do know that we have to keep them from it. We can destroy every mutant training facility and erect a grand new one. One where we can keep watch of what they're taught. One where they'll be safe and with their own kind. No discrimination and for the rest of the population there'll be safety. As for the adults, they shall be harder to take care of. However I promise you that I will do my utter best to take care of this country: the United States of America.”

The Vice President continued talking out the plan. Words that stuck out to Jack were protect, separate, safety, dangerous, mistakes. No one in the country liked the Vice President all that much. He often referred to non-mutants as 'normals', something which really annoyed mutants among other things and now he was the president while the real president recovered. He had revealed his true colors in one day, which didn't surprise many as they all felt he was the incarnation of evil. One thing that still confused most people was why he was so relaxed, the President would be back in a few days and the matter would be judged by a mutant – the president. The answer that lingered in the mind of the people was assassination.

“Well it's not like any of you there are mutants!” Jack shouted. It annoyed him when people believed they had rights over everyone else, especially over mutants. Jack knew a few people like that, students and teachers. He could see the hate and fear in their eyes when they looked at him.

“Mom,” he called “I'm going to Jason!”

“Okay dear!”

Jack took his bike from the garage and rode out onto the street. He was heading down to Jason's house when he felt a vibration in his pocket. He stopped immediately and lay his bike down against the picket fence of a house. He pulled out an ovalic object from his pocket, it resembled an Mp3 player and he could pass it off as one.

He pulled one end of it and pressed a button then answered, “Yes?”

“Jack, we have an issue down at the park. Come resolve it, the cops are having trouble,” Jason said over the communicator. His voice was deep and troubled, characteristics like that did not belong to Jason.

“On my way Jason,”

Jason was Jack's friend. He was also a mutant: his powers allowed him to teleport. On a side note he was mechanical prodigy. He's made several gadgets and the most notable he uses in combat. A shield of energy that forms from what he calls a bangle. Translucent white, triangular and strong, it's saved his life on multiple occasions. Grid also made a sword of energy that extended from handle disguised cleverly as pocket knife. It's shape was straight up until it reached it's end; it curved backward narrowly for a short length then shot back into a point. Between his teleportation and weapons Grid is a powerful force in battle. He doesn't realize his power though as Synchrotron always says. He claims that Apex's power are more stronger than his own when in fact it's the other way around.

Jack re-mounted his bike and changed direction. He rode through the afternoon streets of the beautiful Freedom City towards the park.

In a matter of minutes he arrived at the park. Police had surrounded it. Jack stood at the gate of the park trying to look for Jason when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Son, this is dangerous business. You just go off and leave us to our work,” said a deep voice behind him. Jack turned and looked up to see a blonde haired man in blue uniform with a golden badge that read Officer Ted.

Jack put on a desperate voice, “Sir, my brother is in there. I have to help-” he was interrupted.

“Are you like him?”

“No sir,” Jack said. He wondered exactly what was going on in there. What do you mean like him... Officer Ted?

Officer Ted sighed somewhat relaxingly and knelt down to Jack's height. “My boy, what your brother is doing is very wr-?”

“That's him!” Jack shouted, pointing behind the officer. The policeman looked behind him startled but there was nobody and when he turned around again Jack was gone.

The park was level ground from it's entrance, slowly elevating until ending in a large hill. There were walkways and wooden benches. An ice-cream truck had parked itself near the entrance against the black fence. Dark green bushes littered the area and trees fluttered in the cool spring breeze casting huge moving shadows.

He looked around and took note of any important points: officers were surrounding the large hill and they seemed to be spraying a purple gas into the air. A few were now advancing towards him. Outside of the park stood Jason, watching the battle. Jason hadn't seen him yet. Then he turned his attention back to the hill.

There was a smell of Persephone's Fist in the air: a gas designed to knock out mutants. He could hear the mixture being sprayed into the air. Grunts and shouts of pain as some of the guns caught fire spontaneously. The air was chilly despite the sun glaring down on the town. Come to think of it, the entire day everything had been hot, why would the hill be the only cool area. He threw off his denim jacket standing now in only a black shirt and jeans. It was sunset and the glow created a bright halo around the hill. Jack covered his eyes and he could see two people standing on the hill, one of them gesturing at the guns just before they caught fire..

Police were trying to spray the area but a wind had picked up in front of the two and blew the gas away. I have to get there. He looked again to where Grid was standing but he was no longer there. “Hey there,” said a voice behind him. Startled, Jack turned in battle position only to find that it was Grid.

“Don't do that. Grid, who are those guys?”

“They're the Gemini Twins. They-” he was interrupted.

“The bullies?”

“The very same. They have some very important person hostage, I think it's the mayor.” Grid was wearing a brown jacket with a white shirt underneath.

“So, a cyrokinetic and a pyrokinetic?”

“Not just that man, they're opposite in every way, except being bullies. One strength, the other speed. One controls earth and the other air. One-”

“I get it! So they're powerhouses?”

“Yep, the police are way out of their league. We have to do something.”

“Okay, I have a plan.”

Jack concentrated. He didn't have to concentrate too hard though, he had done this a thousand times before: he was morphing. His powers allowed him to draw energy from Crotus, a second dimension of bendable energy and matter, all heroes use it as a medium to affect things in the real world; for Jack it allowed him to draw energy from there to increase his physical attributes. He could balance the proportions or make them unequal, depending on what he chose his skin would become a different colour however whichever colour it became it was metallic. Now it was ruby red: the colour of combat. He was no longer Jack but Apex.

Apex leapt from his position of being mid-way up the hill to the head of the hill. He soared through the air for a while before landing on the ground with a thud. “Hey guys,” Jack said. He punched one hand into the other.

The twins stood on either side of the mayor. There was a sphere of wind blowing around them, keeping the Persephone Fist away. One of the Gemini Twins was a girl. She wore black and red and she had black hair. Not that she was goth. Her face carried a harsh look to it but nevertheless it was beautiful, she was Julia, 'Quake' The other was a boy. He wore a white suit with blue trimmings and tackies, he also wore shades and had blonde hair. His suit always fluttered, even with no breeze, the boy's name was Justin, 'Gale'.

“What do you want, boy scout?” spat the girl whom Apex recognized as Julia or 'Quake'.

“Oh nothing, just a good old citizen of the town trying to rescue the beloved mayor.”

“Gareth, you're a weakling,” Gale snorted “The mayor nearly shut down the mutant shelter your buddy goes to and now you're defending him. You really think he'll care if you save him? No, he'll just blame the mutants as always. That's the way he is.” Gale had hit a soft spot, talking about what had happened to Eric. Apex paused uneasily, thinking.

“It's my duty.”

“You're always like that Gareth. Stand for the weak.” Gale snorted.

“Well, most of them are better than you,” Apex snorted.

Julia chuckled, “You really think you can take us on?”

“I'd walk away if I were you Gareth,” said Gale.

“Well you're not and I won't,” said Apex.

The twins paused for a second and then Quake nodded at Gale.

Gale raised his hands and a wind picked up. “No!” Apex shouted. He rammed himself into Gale and the two tumbled downhill. They exchanged blows as they neared the nadir. They stood up and then continued the brawling, Gale using his super speed.

Apex ducked quickly and Gale punched at a tree instead. He shouted out and clutched his bloody fingers. The scars regenerated as soon as they appeared. The one second pause was long enough for Apex to make his move. He rammed Gale in his stomach, grabbed him by the arm and used the falling momentum to swing Gale back. The boy lost his balance and fell. While Gale recovered, Apex had transformed: his skin was metallic blue, signifying he'd be pouring all his energy into speed.

Apex lunged for Gale, following through fluidly with punches and ending in a round-house kick. Gale leapt backwards, it seemed every move he made was assisted by the wind. Apex charged and the two punched at each other and battled until eventually Gale got the edge by tripping Apex. He created a wind that threw the hero out of the park, cracked his fingers and then in a blur he was gone with the wind.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grid stealthily teleported behind the tree nearest to Julia. “Hey idiot!” he taunted. Julia looked around and locked on the tree Grid hid behind. A single leap brought her to it. She landed with a loud thud and Grid's heart to jumped. Julia neared and Grid teleported. It was a skill, teleporting silently. He had to make sure that every single molecule was replaced in time so that it doesn't create a sound. Grid smiled when he thought of how easily Julia had been duped.

He reappeared next to the mayor. He crouched and extended his blade to work on the bonds. Quickly he was freed. He exclaimed and breathed in. He ran down the hill quickly and pulled out his asthma pump, police buzzing around him. Grid stupidly ignored Julia's approach and by the time he noticed her shadow under his feet it was to late.

She struck his back and he flew through the air. Before he hit a tree, he teleported into a crouch stance and quickly drew his blade and teleported for Julia. He stabbed at her thigh but she moved swift. She made contact with his right hand, causing it to bend at an odd angle and send the blade flying. It effectively deactivated upon contact with the ground. Defenseless, Grid teleported backward.

Reappearing behind a bush, he pressed his finger to his wrist band and a familiar, translucent white shield formed. He peered over the hedge: Julia was headed straight for him. Think Grid, she's strong and control's the earth. Where would she be weakest? As he thought, a cage formed from the ground around him. Julia loomed over him and she swung interlocked fists downward for a finishing blow.

Grid teleported behind her and swung his shield round for her head. She ducked instinctively and then swung her own fist, anticipating that the swing had left his torso exposed. She managed to hit him in the ribs. Grid's eyes were bloodshot and hazy. He teleported back to the top of the hill. His head told him to run but his battle instinct dared not. Julia caused the ground to jut out in stalagmites. He teleported away but not before receiving a nasty bruise. The police won't handle her, I have to. He told himself in excuse.

Grid teleported his blade into his hand then threw hard at Quake. She ducked and quickly Grid teleported his blade back into his hand. A leap, another throw. She gestured upward and a pillar formed. Grid spun and teleported in the air simultaneously. When he reappeared behind Julia, he let the momentum flow with his blade. He gashed her shoulder. She kicked and sent him flying into a tree. Before he recovered, the ground devoured him, literally. Julia caused sand to fill the pit. Under the pressure, Grid struggled to focus. He couldn't breath. Would she?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apex hit the roof of Jo's pizza. He recovered and when he saw Gale levitating, he lunged quickly at him. He was still in his blue form. Before hitting the ground, Gale broke free of Apex's grip. Apex smashed into the road, cracking the tar. He opened his eyes and took a deep, strained breath. Soon he wished he hadn't, Gale bent winds downward at Apex, keeping him from moving. He couldn't move on finger, not even breath, the winds were overwhelming.

His mind raced. Think, think! Then he had the thought to use his third transformation. His skin washed away the blue with golden yellow. He felt a surge of energy, now he didn't even need to breath, he was still immobile but he wasn't in any mortal danger... yet. From above, Gale poured on more wind, he was beginning to tire.

He barely ever went into his golden form: it was indestructible, had a ranged attack, re-energized him but it did have a fault. He had trouble changing forms from it and on top of that he became immobile when in it. He focused on a thought, a golden crackle of energy shooting for Gale. He played it again and again in his mind then willed it to happen. It did.

Gale fell to the ground and the wind stopped. Apex tried to change forms, back to his blue form. He could hear Gale recovering, getting up. Come on! Apex rushed the change, he didn't concentrate. Thus he became warped, his head was in it's normal form, a spot on his chest became blue, his lower body in red and the rest in gold.

Gale dashed at Apex. He crouched and raised his fist above to punch him. As his fist fell for the blow, Apex kneed him. He lost his breath then Apex managed a second blow, to the chin. Gale fell back and Apex morphed his body into total blue. He righted himself then leapt into the air for a body slam. Gale rolled out of the way. The heroes stood up. Gale punched quickly but Apex moved back. They fought and fought through the streets. A car zoomed by, Gale used the wind to lift him and Apex cartwheeled on it. A punch, dodge.

Eventually they reached a corner of a street. Police had gathered and tried to disperse the crowd. Gale made a side punch that spun Apex. Gale did a 'wind-leap' over a fire hydrant. Apex balanced then spotted him. Gale taunted, “Come on Gareth.”

Apex charged at him and leapt over the fire hydrant. At that moment, Gale altered the air pressure around the hydrant. The valve burst open. A jet of water shot Apex high into the air. He moved from the water current into free air then he began to fall.

Gale watched as Apex fell down. When he was halfway down, he shot him through the water, through the wall of a building and onto another block with a gust of wind. Then he used his speed to zoom to the block.

Apex laded with a thud on a parked car. Gale had already arrived and was now throwing punches out madly. “You think you're so great!” he said between gritted teeth. Apex head jerked left and right and he slowly began to demorph. “Take this!”

As Gale lifted his hand for one more blow, Apex headbutted him. Gale leapt backwards. His white suit was now blood stained, muddy and torn. His shades had been thrown off long ago to reveal blue eyes which were now red. A vain throbbed on his forehead and his hair was tangled. He looked like a mad-man.

“Why are you doing this?” Apex shouted. Gale looked as if he were about to answer but instead he shot forward, bracing to punch Apex in his already scarred and battered face. Apex had his hands behind his back but Gale took no notice. He punched and Apex quickly brought his hands to his face. He was holding the cover for the fire hydrant that had burst and now Gale had punched into it at one hundred Kph. He shouted in agony. Apex lifted his hand and struck down at Gale's neck.

Gale fell to the floor, bloody, dirty and unconscious. Apex looked at him, a tinge of regret in his eyes. He was too tired for anything more than a tinge. A crowd began to gather, there were no cheers, no applause. One lady did however dare to say, “Hey freak why didn't you do that before?”

Maybe because one wrong move and he'd have moved so quickly I'd be late for my own funeral?

“Yeah,” everyone else began to say. “You're a freak. Get out, filthy mistake!”

He looked up at them. These people hated him. They hated him because he was himself.

It hurt him that Gale's words rang true. No-one would care, they wouldn't ask if he's okay or call an ambulance. Oh no, the mutants don't deserve that, call the police instead. They pointed, sneered and threw objects at him. They hate me.

-----------------------------------------------------

Grid managed to teleport from his imprisonment under the sand. He stood uneasily. His legs wobbled, Julia grabbed his hands and squeezed. He shouted out and slashed with his blade, that was in his other hand. She ducked and rammed him in the stomach with her head. She let go of his hand and jumped back. She lifted the dirt from the ground to create a haze.

Grid teleported out of it. He looked for Julia, teleporting frequently so she wouldn't surprise him. Then he heard her. She had given herself away, a small breath. He pretended to still search for her and when she lunged out he sidestepped her. Before she hit the ground he threw herself at her and they teleported into the lake. They exchanged blows underwater but she was drastically slowed down in the water. She took a chance and gestured for the lake floor to lift at Grid. He jerked his shield and hit her in the stomach.

Her mouth opened but she closed it quickly. He could see anger in her eyes. Suddenly the water tugged upward, when Grid looked down he saw the mud of the lake floor shaking, it was a miniature earthquake.

The pair were launched high into the air by the lake tsunami. They reached high into the air and Julia lunched for Grid. He teleported behind her and struck with the flat of his blade for her head. She shouted in pain. Grid grabbed her by the arms and teleported them onto the level ground of the park again. Julia shouted.

She was in pain, it was time to finish her off. Grid concentrated on an area he had designed for the purpose of strategic combat. An area that he had teleported the air out of long ago. He took in a deep breath then teleported the both of them there, still holding Julia. When they materialized she broke free of his grip with ease. She took a deep breath to fight again but there was little air to draw from. Grid moved to her side and avoided her as she slowly turned blue. When she was depleted he teleported them back to the park.

He pinned her to a tree. “Why did you do that?” he asked.

“The... Janitors.”

Did the lack of air affect her that much? Grid wondered. He let go of her and she fell to the floor. He teleported his blade into his hand and deactivated both of his weapons. Then he look up at the scene he and Julia had caused, the land surrounding the lake was saturated. The park had odd, killer rock formations. A crowd gathered and began to cheer for Grid. Yeah well, I did save the mayor. He thought boastfully.

Soon he remembered Apex, who was by now finished with Gale. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. In his mind he pictured Apex and then himself standing next to him. There was a rush of energy through him, no, he was a rush of energy. He merged with Crotus, the second dimension of energy and matter, and reformed exactly next to Apex.

He look at his bloodied, tired and dirty friend and grinned,”So what do we tell your mom?”

“Um- we were mugged?”


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134 Reviews


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Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:42 am
Hippie wrote a review...



Here we go...

When Jack was first introduced, it was unclear that he was watching it on TV. I thought he must have been one of the senators until you cleared it up later.

ovalic

Is there such a word? Oval shaped flows better.

After Jack gets off the "ovalic" communicator, you go into an info dump on Jason. Wait until we actually see him to say that so you can show rather than tell.

'Twas quite confusing with the names. Jack is actually Apex, but then Gale calls him Gareth; So he has 3 names. Jason has 2. Keep to 1 real name and 1 nickname at most, and you should be consistent, and either allways refer to him as Jack except in direct speech, or always refer to him as Apex. Switching them around randomly is confusing.

Their nicknames don't seem to serve any purpose either. They don't complement a part of their personality, so there's not much reason for them.

Grid stealthily teleported behind the tree nearest to Julia.

Stealthily is an adverb, and should therefore be shot.

I wonder why Jack and Jason are fighting on the side of the "normals" when they call them freaks. Wouldn't the mutants be more their type?

There were two paragraphs in a row starting with Grid teleported.

He couldn't move on finger, not even breath, the winds were overwhelming.

breath should be breathe. Breath is the noun, breathe the verb.

A jet of water shot Apex high into the air.

I strongly doubt a fire hydrant would have the pressure required.

I noticed a few times you switched point of view mid fight scene, so that it was from Gale's point of view. Stick with Jack and Jason.

There were a few wrong words as well. Vain = vein. lunched = launched.

This was really long, and hard to go into detail with. I'd actually split this into 3 parts. That'd give you ~1300 words per section, which is a good length for YWS.




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Thu Oct 15, 2009 6:21 pm
White Knight says...



Keep on writing. I am enjoying this. Its great story.




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Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:11 am
LookUpThere says...



Think I should make it Parts 1 and 2?




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134 Reviews


Points: 15966
Reviews: 134

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Wed Oct 14, 2009 12:36 pm
Hippie says...



Wow, this is huge. I'm going to have to do this on the weekend.




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Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:03 pm
TNG100 wrote a review...



I truly enjoyed reading every bit of this chapter. It kept me interested through and through. halfway through the chapter i realized that it was chapter two and not one, so after i finish commenting this chapter i will go and find chapter one. keep writing on this story and don't throw it away, whatever you do.





I’ll paraphrase Thoreau here... Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness, give me truth.
— Christopher Johnson McCandless