Hello there fellow writer.
I really love your poem. It gives me the impression of an apocalyptic environment, for some reasons. It's nice how short a poem can be but act as the root for so many new ideas and feelings. My favorite part in your poem is "a newborn kitten's broken mewl". It brings an extra feel of innocence in this dark world you created.
What I dont like, it's more of a personal preference, is the repetition of the article "the". I think that if you try to avoid overusing it and replace it with another word or short phrase it would make your poems so much better.
But this is a nice poem and I really want to see what other worlds you can come up with. I love world building in poems because besides that vivid description of it, like in a narrative work, you also get a little more insight in the artist's heart and mind
Points: 18
Reviews: 78
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