Greetings dear friends,
Yes tis I ol' Fred
with my twisted toothy grin
and dirtiest blonde upon my head.
I'll tell you my story
with a compelling epilogue
of my dearest aunt Murial
and no less my favorite dog.
I'm freaky in nature,
that's fair to say
oh Courage, dear Courage
don't be afraid.
Parted by one thing
my desire to touch
but oh my dear Courage,
how I've missed you so much.
Murial, sweetest aunt Murial
I have missed thy silver waves
not frizzed nor fried
perfect I'd say,
it puts yours truly
in a perennial daze.
It's quite, so quite
behind these infranigable bars
one thing gives me comfort,
my dear family's not far.
I've grown so much
oh yes I have flourished
so my dear family,
please do not be discouraged.
I've outgrown my corybantic ways
those days have soon passed
but then again,
I've had no chance to be... naughty
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
hey littleredsstoryline!
you are certainly talking about the character Fred from the show 'Courage The Cowardly Dog'.
oh it was awesome. i spent my childhood watchin it. incredible courageous dog.
coming to the poem, it sounds fun. Fred describing his family and the description is too good.
that 'toothy grin', 'silver waves' sounds so interesting. so good choice of words. the overall poem is hands on . i like. it simple and sweet. some rhyming would be magical.
hope to read more of you.
---chitz---
Hi Chitz thank you for your review! I grew up watching courage the cowardly dog and was among my favorite shows the growing up and still to this day Freaky Fred is one of my favorite fictional/animated characters. I'm really glad you liked it!
I have not seen or heard about Freaky Fred, but I felt as if this would be a fun poem to review anyhow.
First of all, I noticed that your stanzas are not spaced out. I am not sure if you did this on purpose or not, but I thought I would point it out because a lot of people on here have struggles with getting them to line up correctly on here.
When you said:
"with my twisted toothy grin
and dirtiest blonde upon my head."
and
"I have missed thy silver waves
not frizzed nor fried"
I loved your imagery. I can imagine the characters that you are presenting. If I were you, I would go back and explain how the dog looks too. I am assuming his name is courage. Right?
Later on in your poem, I noticed that you had a few typos. You said that your 'family's not far.' I would change that to families. The speaker's family does not own far, it is not far. Do you catch my drift?
I like how you had the speaker tell their family not to be discouraged and then you mentioned things that they have outgrown. I like this because you are giving the reader more background on the character.
Overall, your poem was good. I appreciate that you took the time to upload it onto this website, I hope that you enjoy YWS. If you have any questions or if you would like any advice, feel free to PM me.
That is all I have for you today, have a wonderful day! Keep writing
-Anne
Thank you so much for your feedback Anne, I appreciate it! I tried to space it out however I couldn't seem to get it in the format I would have prefered but that's ok. And yes Courage is the name of the dog (from the show courage the cowardly dog) thank you again for the review!