z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Freak Fred 2

by Littleredsstoryline


Greetings dear friends,

Yes tis I ol' Fred

with my twisted toothy grin

and dirtiest blonde upon my head.

I'll tell you my story

with a compelling epilogue

of my dearest aunt Murial

and no less my favorite dog.

I'm freaky in nature,

that's fair to say

oh Courage, dear Courage

don't be afraid.

Parted by one thing

my desire to touch

but oh my dear Courage,

how I've missed you so much.

Murial, sweetest aunt Murial

I have missed thy silver waves

not frizzed nor fried

perfect I'd say,

it puts yours truly

in a perennial daze.

It's quite, so quite

behind these infranigable bars

one thing gives me comfort,

my dear family's not far.

I've grown so much

oh yes I have flourished

so my dear family,

please do not be discouraged.

I've outgrown my corybantic ways

those days have soon passed

but then again,

I've had no chance to be... naughty

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User avatar
34 Reviews

Points: 48
Reviews: 34

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Thu Sep 27, 2018 3:19 pm
Chitz wrote a review...



hey littleredsstoryline!

you are certainly talking about the character Fred from the show 'Courage The Cowardly Dog'.
oh it was awesome. i spent my childhood watchin it. incredible courageous dog.

coming to the poem, it sounds fun. Fred describing his family and the description is too good.
that 'toothy grin', 'silver waves' sounds so interesting. so good choice of words. the overall poem is hands on . i like. it simple and sweet. some rhyming would be magical.

hope to read more of you.
---chitz---



Random avatar


Hi Chitz thank you for your review! I grew up watching courage the cowardly dog and was among my favorite shows the growing up and still to this day Freaky Fred is one of my favorite fictional/animated characters. I'm really glad you liked it!



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62 Reviews

Points: 2406
Reviews: 62

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Wed Sep 26, 2018 12:54 pm
Anniepoo103 wrote a review...



I have not seen or heard about Freaky Fred, but I felt as if this would be a fun poem to review anyhow.
First of all, I noticed that your stanzas are not spaced out. I am not sure if you did this on purpose or not, but I thought I would point it out because a lot of people on here have struggles with getting them to line up correctly on here.
When you said:

"with my twisted toothy grin

and dirtiest blonde upon my head."

and
"I have missed thy silver waves

not frizzed nor fried"

I loved your imagery. I can imagine the characters that you are presenting. If I were you, I would go back and explain how the dog looks too. I am assuming his name is courage. Right?
Later on in your poem, I noticed that you had a few typos. You said that your 'family's not far.' I would change that to families. The speaker's family does not own far, it is not far. Do you catch my drift?
I like how you had the speaker tell their family not to be discouraged and then you mentioned things that they have outgrown. I like this because you are giving the reader more background on the character.
Overall, your poem was good. I appreciate that you took the time to upload it onto this website, I hope that you enjoy YWS. If you have any questions or if you would like any advice, feel free to PM me.
That is all I have for you today, have a wonderful day! Keep writing (:

-Anne



Random avatar


Thank you so much for your feedback Anne, I appreciate it! I tried to space it out however I couldn't seem to get it in the format I would have prefered but that's ok. And yes Courage is the name of the dog (from the show courage the cowardly dog) thank you again for the review!




We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
— Arthur O'Shaughnessy