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I sit here all alone

by LittleTooArrogant


Foreword before the lyrics:
I wrote the words down while I was traveling, but I've been playing with this song in my head and with my guitar (which I sadly do not have on me at the moment) for over a month now. There are only a few rhymes and the lyrics sound better with the music creating the rhythm as I had a hard time writing the lyrics down in a way that would've made the rhythm more sensible in a written form. I'll actually write what the song is about at the end so you guys don't have to start guessing. I hope you enjoy!
____________________________________________________ 


So I sit here alone in my chair
Playing sad tunes, to the silence of my room

Sit here all alone
Play these sad tunes to my home


And I feel good in a way I didn't think I should
And yet I am so lonesome


Where will I be swept off my feet
By a girl so fine when I look in her eyes
I'll feel like I'm on cloud 9
Where will that be
When I meet that one
Who'll be with me

(Instrumental)

So I sit here alone
In my lonely throne
And think back at how things used to be

I see that I am content
In a way didn't think was possible

What is the way
To live
Unattended

So what is the way
To live
Unattended
in my head

How to be
Alone with your thoughts that used to be shared

I feel
content
Even though also so lonesome
Can this line truly be?


But somehow I know
Some day somehow
Somewhere she'll be there

(instrumental)

Some day I'll be swept off my feet
By a girl with eyes a beautiful brown
When I stare in them
My world turns around

So where will I be
Swept off my feet
By a girl so fine
When I look in her eyes
I'll feel like I'm on cloud 9
Where will that be
When I meet that one
Who'll be with me
______________________________________________________

Afterwords

So this song is something I started writing about two weeks after my fiancee left me for another man. Before the breakup she had led me to believe that there was still something for me to salvage in the relationship so I had embarked on a quest of self-improvement: Learning how to be a better listener (by learning things like emotive listening), trying to be more attentive in general, planning things more thoroughly, working on my emotional state (which was at the time, and probably still is of mild depression), and being more open with my feelings. I poured myself into this self improvement and pushed myself to try and fix the problems that we had. I was driven by the belief that our 8 years together would allow her to have that confidence in me that I could improve. Sadly her mind had already been made much earlier and she had just been afraid to tell me that she'd found someone else.

So after she left me I went into a spiral, thinking that all my self-improvement was for nothing, but my friends taught me some self-respect. I now wanted to learn self-love and I started working on that, and self-confidence and independence. During this time I met a girl, a gorgeous woman with brown eyes. She was also out of a long-term relationship recently. It didn't work out in the end, but I realized that I'm a sucker for brown eyes, which motivated some of the lyrics for this song.

I'm still not completely fine, but I find myself being more happy than I maybe should be after such a long relationship. Feeling content at times. I attribute this to my friends, learning self-love and keeping myself busy with other things. 

The song is not perfect and I hope you guys can help me with the words. I do think it's too repetitive and a tiny bit whiny but I needed to get it out of my system because I find myself unable to make anything else than breakup songs and that's just not my style, so I thought if I make this one breakup song then maybe I'll be done with that. 

I'm pretty happy with the guitar portions of the song and I will record it once I've fixed it up. Any and all help is greatly appreciated. 


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Fri Jun 14, 2019 12:20 am
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Casanova wrote a review...



Heya, LittleTooArrogant, Casanova here to do a review for you, so let's get this started.

So I sit here alone in my chair
Playing sad tunes, to the silence of my room

Sit here all alone
Play these sad tunes to my home


And I feel good in a way I didn't think I should
And yet I am so lonesome


Alright, so first off let's talk about flow here. This flow, the syllables, are not at all functional in these first three sections (unless I am mistaken, in which case I'd have to hear it to be able to make out the differences.) But just reading it off, and allowed, it doesn't seem to fit a particular beat/rhythm together and still be smooth. Anyway, on to the next part.

Where will I be swept off my feet
By a girl so fine when I look in her eyes
I'll feel like I'm on cloud 9
Where will that be
When I meet that one
Who'll be with me


I'm not going to mention flow here, but rather content- I don't say anything about how common something is or how cheesy something sounds most of the time, but honestly this feels like the gist of most love songs, and I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I would just suggest that you put your own twist to it and make it sound more personal rather than common.

So I sit here alone
In my lonely throne
And think back at how things used to be

I see that I am content
In a way didn't think was possible

What is the way
To live
Unattended


The 3-2-3 stanzas here really don't work together. It's just flow.

So what is the way
To live
Unattended
in my head

How to be
Alone with your thoughts that used to be shared

I feel
content
Even though also so lonesome
Can this line truly be?


This part here seems more like a rough draft than a thought about section in my head. It just feels choppy to sing out loud and I couldn't get a proper rhythm going in my head that could be the beginnings of a melody. It sounds decent slowly talked out (sort of like some artists I know like Sam Hunt and a few others), but that's all I could think of on that section.

But somehow I know
Some day somehow
Somewhere she'll be there

(instrumental)

Some day I'll be swept off my feet
By a girl with eyes a beautiful brown
When I stare in them
My world turns around

So where will I be
Swept off my feet
By a girl so fine
When I look in her eyes
I'll feel like I'm on cloud 9
Where will that be
When I meet that one
Who'll be with me


I'm guessing that the last portion is the chorus, but honestly to me it seems more of your weaker portions.

Anyway, I wasn't trying to be rude or mean or anything, so just excuse me if I was. I don't see lyrics on here a lot.

All and all this was a pretty good idea of a song, I look forward to anything else you have to say.

-Cas





cron
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
— Willie Nelson