*Sorry I tried to break up the stanzas but it wasn't working when I saved changes. They are supposed to break after each period.
You are a lion.
You put your pride out in the open,
Like a rose on your chest
I am a wolf
I keep what pride I have
Locked away as if it may be stolen from me.
You are a creature of the sun
Always shining from within
I see you and feel your warmth
Spread from you to me.
But the chill in my bones
Quiets all fires.
I hide in the cover of night,
No longer warmed by the sun.
You became a lion,
But you were once the sky.
Now when I lift my eyes upward,
I see only blackness.
Flowers grow in your footsteps
But twisting brambles and thorns grow in mine
So that I cannot retrace my steps
Without spilling my own blood.
I sit alone in the falling snow
And the dry air freezes my lungs,
Constructing ice crystals in my blood.
I was once a wolf
But now I am little more
Than a shivering, whimpering dog.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,249 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
Hello, I really like this poem very much. It is darkly beautiful, romantic and filled with emotion. I do not think there is any grammar mistakes here. I get the impression that this is a love poem. It deeply and eloquently sums up the feelings of sadness, struggle, turmoil and loneliness but also feelings of love and admiration. From my perspective this is a truly eloquent, gripping, emotional reflection on a passionate yet tragic love between the lion - representing beauty and extroversion and the lone wolf - representing introversion, loneliness and hidden passion.
Anyway, that was my review and I hope It was helpful.
Keep on writing.
Hi this is spartan 118 here for a quick review and to make your day a lil better, so kick back and relax.
First off this poem seems like it's a love poem from my perspective but I am not sure. I love how you make it seem like there is some th thing more to this poem, like something deeper behind it. I see no grammar errors or anything error type wise. I really like your poem cause it's so deep with hidden means behind it.
Well that's my review and I hope you enjoyed it. I know it was short but oh well. I hope you keep up the good work and enjoy your day.