Adonia, Beloved / Chapter 7

The last rays of sunlight slanted over the dry landscape, pushing the long shadows cast by the Sovereign's procession across the flat ground. The guards' feet barely lifted from the ground as they hauled the palanquin that now bore the weight of the dead. The Sovereign rode at the head of the procession with Haemon and Rhea on either side of her. She wanted to slump in the seat of her saddle under the sadness that piled itself on top of her, but she kept her back straight and her shoulders relaxed, looking forward with a level gaze. As she leaned forward to brush away a fly that had landed in her gelding's mane, she glanced to her right at Haemon. He clearly felt the same as she did, and hid it with less effort. Surely he would be blaming himself for loosing so many men. He stared absently at his own horse's mane with his shoulders curving forward. Adonia caught herself wanting to put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. She straightened again and returned her gaze to the open land ahead of her. She didn't need to look to her left to know Rhea would be sitting rigidly in her saddle with a white-knuckled grip on her reins. She had been boiling with anger ever since the attack. It could take days for her to cool down.
"I think we had better stop now," Haemon said, straightening in his saddle a bit.
"Right," Adonia said. "We are on our own land now. We will burn the dead here. We can't carry them all the way back." She pulled her horse slowly around as Haemon began directing the men to stop and build fires and set up camp.
The sun was only a sliver over the horizon when they began to burn the bodies. Adonia stood with the others in solemn silence as the ashes were carried off by a gentle breeze. When she looked over to Rhea the anger was gone. Now was not a time for anger. She match every other person present, her face softened with grief. Adonia put a hand on her shoulder and Rhea's blue eyes lifted to meet hers, reflecting the dancing orange flames. "They have to pay for this," she whispered almost sounding helpless. Adonia felt startled. This was not at all like Rhea, to let her face and voice be changed by sadness. "I denounce my Daskan heritage." Her mouth contorted with the word, like it tasted sour coming out. Adonia did not say anything to her, only let her hand rest on Rhea's shoulder for a moment more.
When the flames died out Adonia stepped forward and turned toward the solemn group. "We all suffer for what has happened on this journey," she said slowly, pausing to let her words settle, "but we cannot let ourselves jump to conclusions. We will conduct ourselves with wisdom and care. Before we act, we must find the reasons for why this has happened." She directed her gaze to Rhea briefly. "We may feel anger and seek revenge, but that is how mistakes are made. These men will not be forgotten. Service will be held for them and their families when we return home." When she finished speaking there was a murmur of solemn agreement among the men, and Adonia returned to Rhea's side until the flames began to die out.
Using that last remaining bit of light, the men began to set up tents and campfires. Adonia's tent, being twice as large as the others, took the longest to bring up, but even when it stood, gold and red silk reflecting the firelight, she did not go inside. She began walking away from the tents, waving Rhea away when she began to follow. The body-guard frowned and crossed her arms, but remained where she stood as Adonia walked on. Perhaps Rhea was in pain and needed Adonia's comfort for once, but Adonia needed to be alone. She felt embarrassed that she had been so trusting of Daskus. She wasn't ready to blame Aiseljah yet, but knew that she had placed too much faith in a man she had so scarcely met with. She didn't walk far, knowing how agitated Rhea would become if Adonia was out of her sight for too long, and found a small boulder with a flat top. She sat down on it tiredly, watching the horizon, just barely visible beneath the darkening sky. She had barely been there for a minute before she heard footsteps coming toward her. Annoyed, she turned around to see the silhouette of a man outlined buy the distant firelight.
"Sorry to bother you, Lady Sovereign, I just-"
"Call me Adonia, Haemon. Did Rhea send you to make sure I didn't trip on a rock and scape my knee?"
He hesitated, his dark silhouette appearing taken aback. "No." There was a pause before he said, "I know you are hurting, even if you choose not to show it." Adonia grimaced. This didn't sound like the beginning of a conversation she wanted to have right now. Haemon continued, "but I also know that whatever action you take will be what's best."
She wanted him to leave, but she kept her voice steady and void of irritation. "Thank you Haemon, your words are kind. How is your brother?" If he would not leave, at least she could change the subject.
"Still in pain, but a little better, thank you."
There was a moment of silence before the bellowing sound of a lion's roar was came through the night. Adonia glanced toward the sound. "Only about a mile off. Lions are crossing the border, back into Nivahl again."
"We will need to warn the shepherds to be watchful."
"Yes, but the lions are perhaps in more danger. There are hunters in this area who are not afraid of them. My father among them."
"Your father lives close by?"
She nodded, feeling some of her agitation fade away. "To the north of here, in a large village. No more than twenty miles." She paused thoughtfully. "I think I will visit him soon. It's been four years since I've seen him or my mother."
Though she could not see his face in the dark, she could almost sense a small smile on his face. "I think that would be good for you."
Adonia surprised herself by realizing she was glad for Haemon's company. His own calm demeanor seemed contagious in a way. Her anger and frustration had seemed to ease away, but as she thought about her own feelings, sadness began to fill the empty spaces. "Haemon, I'm terrified. I cannot bear to see war break out between Daskus and Nivahl, but I cannot bow my head and let this go unpunished."
When he spoke, there was sadness in his voice too, but there was also confidence. "There is no one better to lead us through this time than you, Heavanlight."
For once she was not bothered by being called 'Heavanlight.' There was sincerity in his voice; he was not trying to win her favor, only giving words to how he felt. "Thank you Haemon. I value your words." She rose, taking a moment to stretch her stiff limbs. "It is getting late. I should be back to my tent before Rhea comes to drag me back by the ear."
Haemon laughed softly. "She always gets her way. Goodnight, Adonia." He bowed formally before turning and heading back to his tent. Turning back towards her own tent, Adonia could see Rhea's silhouette sitting by the fire. With a pang of guilt she remembered that Rhea was surely in pain too. She wanted to to help, but knew Rhea would need time alone to sort out her feelings.