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16+

Pain

by Lilemogirl


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.


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11 Reviews


Points: 369
Reviews: 11

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Fri Dec 13, 2019 11:05 am
ReeN_beNa wrote a review...



Yeesh, this is very accurate and sad.

You were able to say a lot using just a few words and that is very good.
I just hope you are ok. I mean not to pry but if you feel like you need to talk, no matter how painful it is, i will say it is best to talk all the hurt out rather than keeping all the hurt inside and suffering alone. I used to feel this way a lot in the past year, and i always used to wrfite poems which had this dark tone, but with time, i realized that was not helping me, and I was a walking mood swing. But i learnt to get a grip of myself by writing it out and also speaking my frustrations out loud.
I din't care if I had someone to listen to my rants or not, but every time I felt me loosing myself, i used to have a conversation with myself and that always made me feel very ok.
you can try that too. If it doesn't work out for you, remember people such as myself would like to hear you and will be always willing to help.
stay safe.




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129 Reviews


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Reviews: 129

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Sat Apr 13, 2019 3:11 am
Anma says...



That's sad...
I hope your doing okay now!

I do suggest that you should mostly say, why, how you feel this way.
I mean you don't need to say anything personal.
But you can say something like I'm just super sad.
Either way its great.
The way you expressed your felling in this though.
It's really good, but sad.

Hope you feel better!

Keep up the good work!
Sincerely
Anma




User avatar
129 Reviews


Points: 183
Reviews: 129

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Sat Apr 13, 2019 3:11 am
Anma wrote a review...



That's sad...
I hope your doing okay now!

I do suggest that you should mostly say, why, how you feel this way.
I mean you don't need to say anything personal.
But you can say something like I'm just super sad.
Either way its great.
The way you expressed your felling in this though.
It's really good, but sad.

Hope you feel better!

Keep up the good work!
Sincerely
Anma




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61 Reviews


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Reviews: 61

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Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:48 am
OofOof1 wrote a review...



That is so sad. Even though this is so short and has such good meaning. I'd like to congratulate you on that that you did a good job describing pain in one simple piece of art.

My only suggestion is that you tell the reader where this is coming from, was this poem just for fun, does this describe your life, there are endless possibilities that you could pick to do this poem. Tell my opinion I think the reader should know why you made this.

Anyway you did a good job and I don't really have much feedback except to maybe make this a bit longer, thanks.

Sincerely, you're clumsy little friend.




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109 Reviews


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Wed Dec 19, 2018 2:32 am
manilla wrote a review...



((Do you need someone to talk to? Ring me up, please, I can listen.))

--

Quick review - I know this is supposed to be a short work, but it would be great if you could extend it and add sensory, examples, and a broader vocabulary. This could be the introduction to something more, as well.

And if you put it under art, you could possibly rearrange the words to form the shape of an object that can be a symbol related to this poem. The possibilities are endless.

And last question - Are there any other types and ways to show the diverse experience pain?

That's all from me -
Manilla out.




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45 Reviews


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Reviews: 45

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Tue Dec 18, 2018 10:28 pm
potatoefry2001 wrote a review...



I just wanted to say even the simplicity of this piece speaks VOLUMES.... Good job! I think for me in my life right now, this is true on so many levels. I have been trying so hard to not bottle things, but it's not the easiest thing to do. I don't think people need to suffer alone. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can private message me, and I will be more than happy to listen to you, and help you in any way that I can. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you. Anyways, Have a good day, and remember there are people here who care about you. Happy Writings and readings.




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162 Reviews


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Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:24 pm
FireSpyGirl says...



Amazing and so true!!





Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and the shadows will fall beyond you.
— Walt Whitman