Young Writers Society

I found this piece to be really heartfelt and relatable! I personally really related to the theme of escape in this poem and the theme of waiting for the right time to "be free." Those themes are so emotional and raw, and I love it. I think that the heart of this poem is the right mindset for recovery and I love how it acknowledges the hope for the future without diminishing the pain of the present.

The refrain really hit home for me.
I know there's another side to me.

Just waiting for the right time

To let myself be free

Need courage to escape the pain

To lift myself above the rain

To allow no-one to hurt me this way again.
I think that the heart of this poem is the right mindset for recovery and I love how it acknowledges the hope for the future without diminishing the pain and anger of the present. I really appreciated this poem!! Good job!!

The flow is excellent, and I especially love the line "to lift myself above the rain." Very relatable, with heartfelt emotion. I see a lot of potential and talent. However in the beginning I feel like you can use different words, or explain it differently so it can go with the flow of the rest of it. Overall: great job.

Hey! it’s tinybookfarie!!!!!!!!!!! I luv this. I feel u in every way. Keep writing cuz sometime the best way to let ur feeling out is by writing thins thru poetry, stories, and even songs. I do these things all the time, and trust me it helps some of it!!!!!!!

Hey!
You are a very talented, and this was definitely something right up my alley, going through a break up right now.

I think everything after the first six lines is absolutely perfection. But let's take a look at the beginning of this song:

"I’ve seen what life can be about

And haven’t liked what I have seen (This second line seems a little redundant and maybe there's another way to put that life's giving you crap)

So I retreat into the life I live on my own. (The repeat of the word life so closely doesn't do the flow any justice)

In the bubble that’s my mind (I really like this line, it definitely stands out on it's own)

No one can hurt, erase my pride (This line doesn't flow very well. I don't know to me there was this sudden pause and it didn't go well.)

Existing in the cloud that’s life alone. (I don't think this last line flows into the rest of this songs very well.)

Now i don't know if i have any corrections, but everything above is purely opinion.
Thanks for the read, and I hope to see some more of your amazing work.
Rascalover

AMAZING!!! You definitely have talent!! You put so much feeling into this!