Awake Part 1

~ Bryn ~

I hover in the corner of the room, peering around doubtfully as children play around Mom's legs. She smiles at me, tired but happy with her job. "Come play, Bryn," she says, but I just draw back fearfully.

One of the boys notice me hiding. I remember his name; Ethan Morningway. He and his identical twin brother, Brady, are spending their first day at Mom's daycare. Brady hasn't smiled once or said a word to anyone, but Ethan is already friends with everyone. But he abandons them to come to me, Brady trailing along behind with that scary look on his face.

They are two years older than me; I'm five and they're seven. They're here after school. Ethan smiles his winning smile and offers me his hand, asking if I want to play. I look past him at Brady, and the faintest hint of a smile touches his face.

From then on, I enjoy my day. Ethan makes me comfortable as we climb trees, play hide-and-go-seek, and get into trouble chasing the cat. Brady still doesn't talk or smile, but he's as considerate as his brother in his own quiet way. But for some reason no one else sees this about Brady. He gets yelled at and none of the kids seem to like him.

As evening falls, I am up in the apple tree while Ethan and Brady's mom comes to pick them up. I watch as she fondly says hello to Ethan, her voice affectionate. Then she turns an icy glare to Brady and tells him to get into the car; he's in trouble again. I bite my lip, angry, but too scared to say anything. I try to climb down the tree, but my hands slip and I fumble--

The next thing I know, my stomach is in my throat and I'm falling to the ground. Then I know pain bursting in my head and everything goes black.

* * * * *

When I wake, I'm lying on the couch with an ice pack on my head where I have a throbbing goose egg. Mom is relieved to see me awake because we don't have the money for a hospital. Dad runs a small restaurant and she the daycare, but between my two sisters and I there is never much money left over. Mom also hands me a gold dollar-piece with a smile, saying that Brady and Ethan left it for me as a get-well wish. I stay that night and the next day in bed, but otherwise it seems completely normal.

~ Ten years later ~

It's my sixteenth birthday. It starts out as havoc; I run about helping Mom get the last of the cleaning done before kids arrive to the daycare, then stop by Dad's restaurant to remind him I can't work after school. He's well-meaning but absentminded and both my parents are too busy to really remember my birthday. But I have my own plans, and my heart races each time I think about them.

I end up in school in my usual outfit; baggy vest over a short-sleeved shirt, knee-length skirt with pleats, knee-high socks and buckle shoes. It's plain and old-fashioned and unattractive, but it makes me feel more comfortable. My hair is my most radical feature; though it is just brown, it's cut in a daringly extreme a-cut so that the back is cropped against my skull but the front is past my shoulders. I shoulder my back pack and walk into my school with a vague smile. I don't know whether to be scared or excited.

There are five hours in a day at my high school--I'm a sophomore. The first three before lunch pass in a blur, and then I'm sitting next to my friend Jenna Cardiff and eating flavorless chicken soup. Jenna isn't shy or plain like me. She's popular and radiant, with perfect red curls and amazing almond eyes and the most beautiful smile. She's brave, too, to the point of being blunt and rash. She talks about Ethan endlessly, euphoric at my success. I smile thinly, the butterflies in my stomach erupting. "Just wish me luck," is all I manage to say.

Jenna, Ethan, and Brady are all in my fifth hour. Ethan is even more popular than Jenna; all the girls want him. Including me. I've had a crush on him since that first day at the daycare. He's a senior, handsome, athletic, smart, and incredibly funny and kind. Brady remains an enigma. He's still stubbornly silent and straight-faced and intense, but somehow I understand that he really just doesn't know how to express himself. Both are my friends.

But yesterday, what I had thought impossible happened. Ethan cornered me in the hallway, smiling his usual smile. He apologized first about it being such short notice, and I had no idea what he was talking about. Then he asked me out on a date! He said he wanted to celebrate my birthday with me. Jenna found me hovering in the parking lot with no real clue where I was going. When she asked me what was going on, I told her. "Bryn Anne O'Herra, you've got a date with Ethan Morningway?" she whooped, seemingly ecstatic with the news. "I want to know EVERYTHING."

So here I am now, bubbling with an odd mixture of nervous jitters and hyper excitement.

At the end of class, Ethan leaves for his club activities. Jenna seizes my arm as I try to leave. "You can't go looking like that!" she says. "You aren't going home to get ready, Bryn dearest. You are coming with me." She flashes me a smile and drags me out to her car, handing me her cell phone so I can call my mom and let her know where I'm going.

And then she takes me to her house--well, its more a mansion. Her mother is a super-model and her father a very successful business man. They actually are a very happy family. Her mom beams at me as we enter and offers any assistance she can. Then she and Jenna are on me like crows to a carcass; make up in hand and extensive wardrobes at their disposal, they prepare me for my date.

I don't get to see myself until they're done, but I'm shocked by the result. I smile uncertainly at my reflection as Jenna turns my chair towards the mirror with a triumphant grin. "Behold the Bryn I see," she announces.

She has dusted my eyelids with gold and emerald green, which brings out the color of my eyes. My brows are lined, making them seem more dainty and shaped than before. I'm wearing peach lipstick and I realize how soft my lips seem for the first time. My skin has been transformed to alabaster perfection with pink roses in my cheeks. I'm wearing one of Jenna's dresses, pale yellow knee-length skirt and an empire waist, with white bodice and lacy sleeves. It fits to my curves and I see how womanly my figure really is. I have yellow roses in my earlobes and around my neck. They give me yellow strap heels to wear, shaping my legs.

"That's me?" I ask blankly, my voice even quieter than usual. Jenna laughs as her mother sprays a bit of expensive perfume on my neck.

"It's perfect for you, Bryn," Jenna explains. "It makes you look like a knock-out who's still completely innocent...which, of course, you are."

"Look at the time!" exclaims Mrs. Cardiff, glancing at her glittering watch. "Where was Ethan going to pick you up, Bryn?" she asks me.

"Just in front of my dad restaurant," I say. I had convinced my dad to hire Brady a while ago, and Ethan was going to drop him off for his shift. I glance at the clock and my heart jolts. "Ten minutes!" I cry.

It's havoc again. Jenna and I race to her car and she clutches my elbow so I don't trip and fall in the heels. Even though they're only three inches, it's more than I'm used to. She drives me back to the restaurant at speeds rather over the limit, but for once I don't complain. When we arrive, Ethan is already waiting in front.

"Don't worry, you have two minutes to go," Jenna hisses in my ear and pushes me out of the car.

I smile awkwardly at Ethan as Jenna speeds off. He smiles back, almost as nervously. "You look amazing," he says, and I inevitably blush.

"Thank you," I manage to say.

"Your dad said we can just go ahead. He already gave me a lecture." This makes me laugh; my mild daddy would only lecture someone if it was about me. Ethan points out his car, just as nice and fancy as Jenna's. "Shall we then?"

He's a gentleman the whole night. He opens doors for me, helps me stand, escorts me. He's sweet and funny and I'm more at ease than I thought would be possible. First we go out to dinner somewhere nice, and then we go walking along a coastal road to watch as the stars come out. Once we make it to the beach, we both take off our shoes so we can race along the sand like when we would as kids. I end up laughing helplessly as I fall spectacularly into a drift. Ethan follows me, flopping on the hill of sand like an idiot.

"Now I've dirtied all of Jenna's nice things!" I exclaim, sitting up and giggling.

"She's got plenty," Ethan grins. "I'm more worried about the wrath of my mother when she sees sand in my suit." He runs a hand nervously through his mass of soft, dark-blonde hair--hair that was just a little long, so that it curled ever so slightly over his collar. His blue eyes twinkle as he tips back his head and looks towards the sky. For a moment, we sit in comfortable silence, only a foot apart. It's closer than what I'm used to.

"Bryn," he finally says, breaking the silence, "I've got you a present for your birthday."

I blush. I had thought that this date was my present. "You don't have to--" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"I wanted to," Ethan laughs, and he pulls a flat jewelry box out of his pocket. Opening it, I see a small silver charm glittering in the star light. He knows me well; it's a dolphin. I take it and admire it.

"Thank you, Ethan," I say. "I love it."

His eyes light up and he smiles like an excited little boy. "Really?" he asks. Then he throws back his head and laughs. "Oh Bryn, I was so nervous you wouldn't!"

After that, we just talk. He makes me laugh again and again. We wander around the beaches and do our best to dust off all the sand before climbing back into the car. He drops me off at my house with a slight bow and nervous smile, and as he drives off I spin into euphoria. My sisters and mom make me tell every detail before they finally let me go to bed. When I do, I fall asleep smiling and content.

And that's when my world falls apart.

* * * * *

I wake up, and I'm lying on a bed in a hospital. There's an oxygen mask over my face and something is stuck in my arm--an IV. Beside me, a life-support machine is beeping away. I blink, utterly confused. How did I get here?

I turn my head and see my sister Sharalee sitting there. She looks as though she's nodded off while doing homework. "Shara?" I ask, my voice muffled through the mask. It irritates me, and I try to remove it, but my arms seem too heavy to move. "Shara!" I say again, louder.

She jerks awake and just stares at me. For some reason, her eyes brim suddenly with tears. "You're awake!" she gasps, and promptly crushes me with an awkward hug. Then, before I can react, she's raced out of the room yelling, "Bryn's awake! Bryn's awake!"

While she's gone, I manage to raise one of my hands and look at it--but it's not right! It looks skeletal, as though it had been years since I'd eaten a true meal. Then I hear a stampede in the hallway and turn to see the rest of my family rush in, followed by a doctor. Sharalee, Mom, Dad, and Beth tumble to my bedside. All of them are crying and laughing and repeating the words, "You're awake! You're finally awake!" The doctor tries to beat them off and unhooks my oxygen mask, checking my pulse and breathing and heartbeat. He shines a light into my eyes and checks my reflexes. "Now, Bryn," he says, "I want to know what you remember."

I'm nearly in tears. "What happened?" I cry. "It was just--just my birthday and--"

Mom cuts over me. "Your birthday? Sweetie, you slept through your birthday. You've been...you've been comatose since you were five, honey." Her voice is gentle, but I panic.

"No!" I cry. "That's not possible! My sixteenth birthday was yesterday, Mom. I just went to bed after having my first date!"

Everyone looks confused. Beth is bawling. Mom is shaking her head and Dad starts to stroke my hair--which is no longer cut but long, too long. "What's going on?" Mom asks helplessly. "How would Bryn know her birthday was yesterday?"

The doctor cuts in. "Everyone, settle down for a moment! This needs to be dealt with as calmly as possible, for Bryn's sake." He sits down and looks me straight in the eyes. "Bryn, your sixteenth birthday was yesterday, but you've been in a coma since you were five. You were playing in an apple tree and fell out. You hit your head and ever since then, you've been unconscious. Anything you think has happened has just been a dream, probably inspired by what you may have heard around you. Most comatose patients have some level of awareness. Yesterday, your condition took a sudden upturn and we were able to take you off life support and just kept the oxygen mask, IV, and monitor. Now you're awake and there seems to be no lasting brain damage."

My family has fallen silent during this speech. My head is spinning. "You're telling me my life--my friends--are all figments of my imagination?" I cry. "No! Jenna and Ethan and Brady--"

Mom cuts in again. "Sweetheart, Ethan and Brady were the two you were playing with before you fell. That's probably why you had them in your...in your dream."

I break down and cry, but more from fury than anything. "No!" I protest again. "That's not it!" Then my mind locks on Jenna. I hadn't met her until I was twelve. "What about Jenna--Jenna Cardiff? She's my best friend. I didn't just dream her up!"

Sharalee's eyebrows draw together. "I know a Jenna Cardiff," she says doubtfully. "But maybe I mentioned her once while I was in here?"

I shake my head and bury my face in my hands.

I'm despondent for the rest of the day. The doctor says he wants me here for the week just to make sure there aren't any unexpected complications, and so I can get used to my life. He says seizures are a risk, and that I have bleeding ulcers that can cause problems. Then he says I should probably take it easy at home for another week, and then we can figure out the rest of my life. I don't say anything, I'm just in shock and longing to wake up.

My life had all just been a dream.