She was broken promises and untold lies,
Lip glossed joints and lush liquor highs
Swallowed tears and silent cries
Genuinely happy (In an artificial way)
Mouthfuls of goodbye, Lips lined with cliché
She’d sit and wish on every stationary star
Clinging to dreams of places so far
From wherever she may be.
She gave three cheers to high school:
Four to varsity lettered paparazzi.
She was all crossed fingers/Unanswered prayers
The type of girl who never cares.
She had a disease - An allergy to feeling
A Cover Girl hidden within compacts
Addicted to concealing.
All facts and little fiction
She knew nothing of love,
(Yet too much of friction)
Once upon a time, A boy looked into her eyes
& saw tired half truths between the lies
In a fabricated world where reality is rare
She dared to look back and match his glare.
She’d wished on every stationary star
She’d wished and found her fairytale:
Prince Charming on guitar.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This is..cute. Your lines varied in length - got to short in one part. I think you should fix that rhythm. Maybe not.
I didnt like this. The / made it sound like you were trying too hard and I have no idea was "four to varsity lettered paparazzi" is supposed to mean.
I like stationary star. Good job.
I'm not a fan of the flow of it all... but I think that's more of a personal thing than any sort of criticism...
But I love lines alone. Especially the "Stationary star" and "prince charming on guitar"
I know, it's no sort of step in helping you on your poetry. But I like to type... so there.