Cruxless. Chapter's 1-4 of the rewrite, uh... It's still mid guy's don't worry. Not much has changed.

Chapter I

The Dark…

I feel the chalk-like sensation of existence come into my range of feeling, it takes a second… But it comes into my small but sure rainbow selection of sense. I expect to taste more come into my range of sensation and wait a couple seconds, but as I do so, I realize nothing more besides my mere existence will seemingly load into my mind's own data. In other words; I can’t move, feel, talk, breathe, or do anything of the like. For some reason though while most of my senses are gone, It’s as if I can still see somewhat, only issue is… How am I supposed to turn and look at my surroundings with seemingly no body to encase me? I stare straight on ahead, only aware of the extreme darkness that envelopes my strange stream of consciousness. In front of me I can see what seems to be white and yellow wallpaper. Such paper is the kind of thing you would find in a child's daycare, or room. As such I am quite confused as to why I am seeing it now.

I think more importantly than the origin of this strange wallpaper is the fact that I know what wallpaper is, or what a daycare is… This is strange to me in that I don’t recall ever having lived a proper life. So how then can I know what these things are? These weird questions float around in what I can hardly call a brain.

As I stare straight forward I notice a new sensation, not of one I would have expected. But something new nonetheless. It feels as though some kind of strange familiar force watches me from behind. I consider this for a second, especially because I have no fucking clue what lies behind me. If I had a mouth, and a respiratory system I probably would have sighed in this moment, but as I do not have such privileges I must simply stare forward. I ponder quickly how I am able to even be aware of my own existence when I don’t even have the most basic, involuntary ability to breathe. I mean, where even am I anyway? Is this Purgatory? I am honestly just confused, more so than I am scared. I try to focus in on the perfect symmetric nature of the stripes that line the wall in yellow, but as what I feel are minutes pass I can’t help but feel the notion of me being watched from behind grow more and more. I feel the extreme urge and want to turn back behind me, which only makes me long for the ability to do so more than I already had.

I feel kind of strange at the weird set of circumstances I have met with at this point. What got me here? Is this death? What does time mean here..?

That last question sticks with me a little more than the other two… How do I even know if a minute can pass here? As such, what about an hour? Or a day? What if I have already even been here for years and I don’t even know it?

As I continue to ponder, I look at the lines a bit closer now. As I do so, it seems as though it somehow gets even darker wherever I may be. I sense some form of unrest behind my back, as though whatever has been watching me is getting ready to make a movement. I would flinch, but I think we all understand by now that I can’t do such things. Something creeps into view, all I can see of it is a small portion clearly, as a good bit seems to be out of view. For the most part whatever this is that is standing in front of me is humanoid. It has an arm and probably another one out of view, it stands on two legs, and has a neck and head that stand tall. Whatever this thing is it towers over my little stream of consciousness like a beacon of darkness. From what little I can make out of its face, it has a small white dot, that of which seems to operate as an eye, and a long tail, that comes out of the back of the head? Before I can continue to analyze its appearance the eye atop its head shines a bright light unto me.

I can hear the distant sounds of an engine rumbling throughout what seems to be a cylinder-like space, and the sound of a creaking metal cockpit flying through the air. The sounds of a plane, or craft fill my non-existent ears as the light absorbs me. I would scream, but hey… What can you do?

Part II

Sir, yes Sir.

Leaving the totally sensation deaf place I was in before is crazy, I see endless colors zoom in almost infinitely, tons of choices, holes to jump down… Like a fractyle. At some point after falling for long enough I see the shape. I couldn’t really recall any meaning to the shape at the moment, but I did remember the name of it. A Mandelbrot. The fine black tendrils that spread off into infinity, the constant formation and deformation of realities right before my… eyes?

Soon enough I decide to fall to the center of the Mandelbrot instead of to its sides like a typical fractyle zoom would dictate, and head straight for the center where I can hear the sounds of what must be some sort of plane emanating. As I envelope in inky black I feel the confines of a body begin to take hold of me. The strings of mortal coil fall on what are now shoulders. I feel heavy, weak, and yet more my own. I can personify myself now… So where am I?

My eyes now in place feel weird moving around, I stare forward for a moment gathering my bearings…Ok, Just find out how to move around without making it weird.

I stand up now, I am wearing shoes as I do not feel the temperature of the floor as I do so. I let my eyes wander down first. The floor is some kind of stainless steel, I can see my reflection perfectly. I have short bright blonde hair almost like a soft version of hay, a black mustache crosses my upper lip like a slash of charcoal, But by far most strikingly is my eyes. I stared down at them for a good few seconds; they were Orange… I mean really orange. Like the sparks from a sparkler on a warm summer night, or the outermost layer of the sun just touching the vacuum of space. I do also have a decently built body, my musculature is fine and lean, I do not stand very tall as far as I can tell but I look handsome to my appeal. My attention is pulled away from the floor though thanks to a tap on my shoulder.

“Hey idiot, you do realize that there are other people in here right? I mean, I get you’re a new guy ‘n all, but you should really sit your ass down before someone walks in.”

A man with skin like honey scoots up behind me and speaks. I tune it out a little though as I am now analyzing my surroundings properly, but I do as he asks and sit myself down. I sit now on what seems to be a military grade seat, it's hard and has lots of buckles and pockets that cover it. We all here seem to be wearing the same gray uniform. I see now that there are many more presumed inmates here with me. The passengers area is largely cylinder like, front to back it stays the same. The seats are green and gray, and this color scheme seems to stay steady throughout. Something about this craft feels different from the memory of a plane I have stored in my brain, strange… I see the guy next to me open and close his mouth a couple times, clearly ready to speak. I let him.

“Hey, I mean when I told you to sit down I never said you had to stay quiet. Besides, it’s not like I am in charge here after all…”

There is an awkward silence.

“Sorry, I’m just kinda disoriented. Where am I? Also, what was that dark room all about?” I ask, genuinely curious as to what the hell is going on, I am not exactly in a panic or anything, but I am very confused.

“Well I hate to tell you but you likely just had your memories erased. None of us recruits really know what it’s called, but we know that we all had rough backgrounds originally, and that has something to do with why we are here or whatever.”

Something about this guy seems off, specifically his tone of voice and body language when he said something about not knowing the name. Then again I am just making stupid judgements because I have no idea where the hell I am or why. But I made the choice to trust him anyway.

I ask him a question now. “What’s your name?”

“Zach, You?”

I think for a second, but I feel something Click in my head…

“Cooper.”

The other men in the craft on the other side of the room seem to give essentially no shits to me having woken. All except this guy, interesting. I hear footsteps outside of the room we are inside, they are heavy and hard. Zach opens his mouth again…

“Oh shit, those footsteps are unmistakable… We just call him Sir ‘round here. Though hopefully I don’t have to be around him much longer…”

“Sir?”

Zach nods, “He’s a little rough. I guess that’s one way to put it.” Zach shrugs.

A loud deep SLAM Is heard as a large burly bald man walks in, chest covered in medals, clearly he was some kind of general or high ranking officer in whatever ‘military’ I was about to set foot into.

“Attention boys! It’s been a while since I have come back to check up on your pussy strewn selves! So tell me you worthless tard trash, what’s new?!”

I sit back in my seat immediately, I don’t want him to take notice of my current state of awake-ness. The man scans the room. Zach follows suit now encapsulated far into the metal of the chair as he sits back. But as I am sure we all assumed, there was no avoiding it.

The large man with long heavy strides walks up to me and, stares me deep in the eyes. His eyes flared a little looking at me.

“See, you are different here. I am glad to see you awake actually. You here are destined to surpass every other sack of shit in this room, that includes me. You have been assigned to the Gray Titans as a special exception. I heard you killed tens of thousands with your own hands before the wipe for you. I may look down on such heinous acts, but I respect the pure power and force of will it must have taken to do so, especially since it seems you only did so passively.”

I just gawk at him slightly, “U-uh, me?”

“Yes you, you will soon meet the current Gray Titan division at the Gray titan’s initiation, they need one more member. I am sure that you will be the one to pass, no one in the running has nearly as much of a reputation as you for being crazy.”

He continues walking throughout the room, yelling at a few people, but frankly I have tuned out… What does all of that even mean??? I am startled when Zach shakes me violently by the shoulders.

“WHAAAAT?! You’re THAT guy? Holy shit, I had a feeling… but still. No one gets that level of respect from him, that’s crazy! Put in a good word for me at the top m’kay?”

I nod at all the right beats but am not wholly listening. I do notice that some of the excitement in his tone of voice sounds almost… fake? Weird again… Something about this guy feels warm, but off. Familiar.

“Yeah, okay. Sure.” I let out weakly.

I jolt a little bit suddenly as I feel the craft dip and tilt down slightly…

“We must be landing soon,” Zach observes.

A good while, not sure how long passes. After such an amount of time I feel the craft touch the ground with what I assume are wheels. No windows are within, I can’t see outside, but I feel the plain drawl and slow, the engine calms and we stop. Sir yells something about leaving. With that the hatch opens.

Blue sky, white clouds, gray cement, yellow lines, a big H, lot’s of light, with all of this I am already overwhelmed. I move from side to side as I exit into what is now my life.

Chapter III

Who is this guy???

Zach and I walk side by side as the craft door closes behind us. I grant myself a slight glance at the thing as we leave, it is still green and gray on the outside, it does have wings ‘n all, but it’s clearly different from a plane, it seems as though it operates on what seems to be some kind of hovering like technology in the stead of using jet engines to take off. I turn my eyes to face forward, we stand on an open platform facing a long set of buildings and tarps, these buildings are heavily reinforced, clearly this really is some kind of military. Some buildings ahead seem more important than others… But as of now I am more focussed on this Zach guy. All I have gotten from him is a weird off feeling, so I decide to ask him more about himself. Even if he has a small recollection like any of us would with no memories.

“So… Zach?”

“Yeah Coop?

“Well, I was just wondering, even if you don’t have any memories why would you come talk to me?”

Zach hitches in his step as we walk forward. I am sure we will have different destinations later down the line.

“You had interesting eyes…”

“Huh? My eyes? I mean I guess the orange is a bit striking huh..?”

“Yeah…” Zach responds clearly, not wholeheartedly agreeing, maybe it does have to do with the eyes, but not the striking nature.

“Listen Coop, I remember better than anyone else here about myself. But understand I am not here to bother you if you don’t have anything to do with what I am here for. But I am here for something, I was captured, sure. But I had my ways of getting around that stupid otherworldly realm.”

I look at him intently, So this guy really is different.

He speaks again “Don’t expect much, I am not going to throw around my personal info like it’s nothing.”

I frown. Damn.

“Well hey, I am absolutely clueless. How am I supposed to get around that?”

“Well don’t blame that on me Coop, that was the mind erassure thing they did, not me. I think more important than that though is that you won’t be clueless for long. Small memories will come back, not about your life, just general important knowledge, this is mostly convenient since going over everything would be a hassle…”

“So you’re just too lazy to explain it… I get it.”

Zach is the one who frowns this time. “Ok, whatever. We are nearing my training grounds now. If you really wanna know stuff that bad, just know that I was also initiated into the Gray Titans as the third member once, got rejected though once they found out I managed to keep my memories. Something tells me you might be able to grab at some of your memories too, just be better about concealing that ‘k?”

“O-Oh, Alright..!” I answer more than a little bit surprised that he would reveal anything.

As we had been walking we had passed lots of buildings, walking on mostly cement and for some reason mechanical metal? We pass by other groups, doing push ups and sit ups along the sides of large tents. In the distance I can see a massive structure, only past the gray desert that was outstretched before me. It almost looked like a castle, only that it covered up the entire horizon. It was huge, but aside from the size there were cannons that lined all over it. It seemed that there were many more large structures like this in the distance, like buried battleships, but much smaller than the central one.

“Am I going that way?” I ask Zach kind of intimidated…

“Uh, not as far as I know, no. You will be headed somewhere in that direction.” Zach points east at a distant smudge on my vision.

“That's a building?”

“No, it's an arena. Can’t tell very well from here, but you’ll be there soon enough.”

“An arena..?” I smile weakly, my teeth clutching to the opposite row.

“Yeah, I don’t really know what they’ll make you do. But have fun with that I guess.”

Zach answers uninterested. I just nod sadly at the pile of shit circumstances I have ended up in.

We had been walking alongside some jeeps for a while now, eventually making it to where a certain cement made structure is layed out. There are no obvious markings on the outside.

“This is my stop!” Zach exclaims excitedly. “See you around Coop.”

I wave goodbye to who I assume is a friend now… Sorta. All of the people who had previously been on the plane were now gone. All that was left was one jeep, me, and Sir. I sigh then clear my throat.

“So I assume we are going to ride in that jeep together right?” I ask Sir, hoping for a yes so that I don’t have to walk all the way to the distant smudge across what looks like miles and miles of metal and cement land, but also not sure if I want to ride with him of all people.

“Yes of course, what’d you expect, for me to make you run alongside the jeep?”

I just give my best attempt at a smile and climb into the jeep, I don’t bother to buckle as it seems there aren’t many obstacles to crash into. As for the jeep there isn’t much to look at, mostly empty besides the two men within.

“Name’s Balboa Conners.” Sir, or Balboa reaches his hand out for me to shake it. I grab it and shake it firmly.

“Cooper.” I let myself say calmly. Balboa smiles a surprisingly warm smile for his hard face.

“That is a new one, not many Cooper’s ‘round here.”

“Yeah…” I say awkwardly as I let go of his firm grip. We drive like that in silence for a good five or so minutes.

…

After a ton of silence Balboa pipes up again. “Y’know I think it’s kinda sad. People always assume by my demeanor that I am a ruthless, mean person. But really I feel like I do a good job most of the time, I try my best. I hope to you at least, someone who will no doubt make it much farther than me in this world, I didn’t come off to you as an ass.”

I am taken aback by this a little but reassure him nonetheless. “Well, I don’t think it’s strange that people judge you based on simple actions, people do it all the time. But I do agree that it is sad. I hope that can change for the better for you Balboa.” The man smiles once more as I speak.

“You’ll do good Cooper, you will.” I nod at this and let the rest of the ride continue on in fulfilled silence… In the stead of awkward silence.

As we reach the base of the large building that resides clearly as an entrance to something bigger I double take at the beauty before my very eyes. The building that lies before me is spangled with gorgeous colors like fireworks. I step down slowly, not really paying any attention to how goofy I must look staring up at the building in front of me. At the head of the structure there is a massive set of letters clearly laid before my eyes to help me understand what I am supposed to be getting into. ‘Cybernetic initiation’ spelled out in silver curvy letters atop the brim of the upper part of the structure. Another far smaller sign I notice lies close to my feet, and in small red letters spells ‘full disclosure, you might die here depending on what the initiation will be like.’ I just frown lightly at that, almost like it was put there as a joke. I turn my head back to the large building at hand.

“So, are you gonna go in or what?” Balboa says watching me gawk.

“I-I uh… I guess I am.” I step forward into the black double doors that contrast with the rest of the colorful entrance and find myself inside the massive building.

“Here we go…” I whisper under my breath as I open my eyes onto the new territory that beholds me.

Chapter IV

Danger woven arena.

My fingers twist around the hair on the back of my head, I run them along the soft nervous skin of my neck as I put one foot inside the cold air conditioned building. It’s extremely quiet, like the eerie quiet of a storm approaching. I walk up to the front desk, my feet gripping the carpet firmly as I walk along the faded purple floor. Around the carpeted areas are slick cold floor tiles, the walls lined with medals in glass cases, with a big statue behind the lobby desk of a man with a gun. A small silver bell sits on the side of the oak desk where I stand, gleaming, and innocent, but I know the second I ring it everything will change. I hover my finger above the press of the chime, hesitating, before letting my fingertip drop ever so slightly to dip onto the metal bell. The ring is disquieting to my ear’s, from something so calm, almost like a library with no one inside, to a sharp ring. Eventually someone opens and closes a door to my far right, with silver hinges just like the bell I had rung seconds prior. Through the gaping door comes a stout woman, dressed in black attire

“Name?” She asked, not looking at me, or even seeming to care.

“Uh, ‘names Cooper Ma’am.” I respond tentatively, not really feeling her ‘I don’t wanna look at you’ attitude.

“State your business.” She frowns, glancing up at me, perking her nose up into the air.

I feel the cold air of the lobby on my neck and begin to rub it again, looking at the statue behind the woman distractedly. “Gray titan initiation I think..? Uhm, Balboa Conner’s sent me.”

She looks at me skeptically. “You don’t much look like someone being initiated into the Gray’s? Oh well... Stick out your finger.”

I am again kind of agitated at her dismissive attitude, but blow past it, raising my brow as I stick out my finger. She takes a small prick and stabs my finger with it. I am surprised by this sudden action, my finger bleeding a little.

“Hmm…” She pauses after looking at a screen to her left. “So you weren’t lying.” She frowns, pointing her thumb to the door she had just come from a minute ago. “That way should take you where you need to go sir.”

I am still a little annoyed with her, but shrug it off as I gaze over at the door, stepping hesitantly and slowly off of the carpet and onto the hard, cold, and tiled floor made from the same slab like material that plagues most of this building from what my eyes can peer over. My hand grips the long metal bar handle, and I swing the door open with a relaxed pull.

Chatter is heard as I enter the room. The walls are drab and confined, a stark difference to the big open space of the lobby, though admittedly the lobby was pretty drab too. People line the small room, most of whom look much stronger than me, with defined and muscular features. I just shuffle myself over to one of the non-taken chairs on the left side of the room, trying not to be noticed. I take my seat, rubbing my neck still. The cool air feels almost frigid against my now slick and sweaty skin. I am actually nervous now, butterflies ripple my abdomen. Someone points over at me, not looking at me, but clearly referring to me while speaking to another in whisper’s. (Do people here know who I am?)

After awkwardly sitting there in the cold room for long enough, someone new walks in, just as awkward as me, taking a seat and hiding themselves. I am starting to think nothing will happen after long enough, that maybe I’ll be fine… Until the door opens again, slamming this time into the wall with its metal hinges straining.

“HEYYYYY EVERYONE!” Screams a voice, stretching their arms into the air as they burst into the room. At first I scowl, but then I realize that the person who had just stormed in must be one of the Gray Titans. She was short, but she had a wide open smile plastered on her face like an advertisement, she wore her hair up in two red tails. She had freckles dotting her face, brown eyes full of energy dominating the room.

I just shrink back more at the sudden change, not drawing attention to myself. She begins to speak. “So..! As I am pretty sure you all know, I am one of the Gray titans.” She clears her throat waiting for some kind of reaction, and resumes when she gets none. “My name's Hinsa, I’m sure you are just pleased to meet me, isn’t that right..?” Another blank pause with no response “Oh well boo hoo, jeez guys lighten up!” She kneels down to one of the big buff guys who was just sitting down and elbows him jokingly. The guy looks at her pondering whether he should smack her on the head, but just looks down at his shoes instead.

Hinsa jumps up into the middle of the room dramatically at that point. “And now..! Drum roll please…” Crickets might as well be in here as again no one responds… No one drum rolls remotely “It’s time for my partner! Xavier!” She waves her hands at the door like a clown.

A guy walks into the room, probably the most bored looking man alive. He just stared around the room, picking at his teeth, barely even paying attention. Hinsa frown’s and walks over to him. “You’re being a bad example idiot! I said to be energetic!” Hinsa bonks him on the head after yelling at him.

Xavier barely reacts, just sticking his tongue out at her, to which Hinsa raises her nose. Eventually once Hinsa is done being as goofy as she could possibly be, she walks back to the center of the room, resolving to actually be serious this time. “Ok, sooooo… As you all probably know, we need a new member for our squad. Now, of course we can’t have all of you. So we are gonna play a little fun game, ok?” She pauses as if anyone is actually going to react. “I call it weeding.” She says dramatically.

She breathes in and continues. “Weeding is basically where I am going to throw you all into a little tourney style type event, and whoever wins gets to A. Join us.” She gestures at herself and Xavier. “And B. Keep living!” She says ominously, but excitedly.

I double take, not really listening at first, but then begin blinking wildly at the reality of her words.

She tried to quiet the room down as an uproar began. “Hey! hey!!! Relax you babies, take a chill pill, all of you! You’ll be fine I promise." After a few minutes she had gotten the room down to a bunch of glares, but no noise.

She spoke up again. “Ok! Thank you for your respect. Sooooo, there is one, tincey-wincey little thing left that I forgot to mention, and it’s part of being a Gray titan… If you do win, and join us… uh, you get to be a Cybernetic like us two!” Hinsa says, lights coming on under her skin, as if she was robotic. I gasp. (What in the fuck? I uh, I don’t want to be a fucking robot! Do I?) I can barely even react to the sudden flash of robotic parts that she shows before something new happens.

One of the walls to the room suddenly started opening at Hinsa’s last sentence, opening slowly almost like a garage, leading evidently to the outside of the building. Looking outside I see the blue open sky, a few clouds, and below that…

A massive arena lies embedded deep into the ground. Stands and seats are all around, thankfully not full of people. The arena’s center is full of dirt and sand flooring. The walls on either side have weaponry lining them, all kinds of pointy things sticking out at ends.

I stand up, walking forward with the small crowd as we exit the drab inside of the building we had once been in. Hinsa walks up behind me, actually grabbing my shoulder, making me jump slightly.

“Hey, you’re that Cooper guy right? The one everyone’s been talking about?” I am shocked as she speaks these words, giving me some kind of soft tone.

“Talking about?” I ask earnestly.

“Yeah. Your story is pretty popular around here… And hey…” She leans in close and nips my ear as she speaks. “Maybe you can make it into the team with me? Who knows…”

I shiver slightly, wanting nothing more than to get out of there. I step away quickly, not waving goodbye or anything. I found a seat for the first match of the tournament, and sat down, not bothering to look at the arena.

Finding a shady tree over away from all the people, I sit down. I grab a tourney plan from one of the seats, laying out the paper on my lap while I sit in the grass. Reading through the paper my first “Test” (Fight) is third in line., and I am up against a girl named Zoe. I don’t think too much about it, trying to keep my mind away from the wall of weapons on either side of the arena I saw earlier, instead just looking at the leaves on the ground. I fidget with the paper in my hand, my nervousness changing into curiosity slightly, I stand up to go watch whatever match is happening now.

As I walk over to the stands, a few people leer over at me, but don’t move closer. I take a seat on the hot metal stands, the sun above beaming down as it reaches for the horizon. I look down at one of the guys in the pit, bloody and exhausted, he wields a mace of steel, swinging wildly, but the other guy just calmly dodges, the only sweat showing on him from the gleam of the sun as it bears down on the arena.

It’s clear that the two men are talking or communicating at least somewhat, but with the distance in between us I can’t hear them. Eventually the calm and collected one whips out a small knife, and cuts the throat of the other swiftly, no regret or remorse in his eyes at what he’s done. My eyes follow the blood as it pools and splatters. Something about the sight of it is familiar for me, almost appealing. Strangely, I feel almost drawn to the idea of it. I catch myself wandering into a more dark state of mind and calm myself down, patting my legs as I sweat. (What has gotten into me? The red…) I move back over to my tree, too stuck on the thought of blood, the copper like taste, the wet texture, the way it flows out from cut skin, and its warmth… I lean back against the wood and sigh. My match is up after the next one.

-30 minutes later.-

I gaze up at the burning sun, and look down when I see Hinsa waving me over with a smile on her face. I could tell it was time, so I stood slowly and shakily, knowing in my soul that I was either about to die, or about to kill someone. Then again, since I can’t remember anything… Who knows how many people I’ve killed right? I give an almost insane smile to Hinsa as I step down into the pit, broken and halved.

I look up at the wall of sharp objects, of murder weapons,and I reach up and feel them, my hand eventually landing on a spear, long but light. “Here we go…” I whisper and then sigh.

I shift my gaze to the girl across the arena from me, many studs away. She has a cold grin across her face, glasses on her nose gleaming with light as she brandishes her rapier. “Hey there Coop. I was lucky to have been paired with such a talented partner huh..?” She gives me a soulless look. “All things considered, you did kill so many people before you got here right?” She lowers her stance, increasing her guard until she is almost touching the floor. I do not respond to her words, my orange eyes sparking as I look at her. I had felt bad for hurting only moments before, but as I picked up the spear, as it fit into my palms, and as I heard her soulless accusations, I felt no pain, only the feeling that she must be judged. It’s practically as if I can hear church bells ringing as a coffin is brought onto holy ground… But really, we are just given the que to begin the battle to the death.

I do not put up a guard, just take a single step forward, Zoe lunging like a hound in response. She is slim and slippery, her weapon choice a clear representation of that, her hair is black and pulled far back into a tight ponytail, the gleam in her no rimmed glasses so blinding that I can’t see her eye’s. She attempts to clash with me, swinging swiftly at my midsection, but instead I dodge, wheeling around and delivering a right hook to her face, my fist bouncing off of her like a bullet to a metal fence. She staggers back, surprised at my lack of lethal attack, but all she does is grin. She is more careful this time, circling around me. I do not provoke attacks though, so it is her choice to make.

She moves forward to attack with the intent of it being obvious, she wants me to try and hit her this time. But I do not fall for it, she jumps in swings, and then jumps back. I do not flinch.

Something in me is about to snap, and all I can see is Zoe’s head hanging as I hold it from my hand, severed from her body, bleeding wildly. I exhale, trying to let go of my bloodthirsty thoughts, resolving to just knock her out.

Zoe is upset that nothing she seems to be doing to provoke me to attack is working, so she decides that overwhelming me would be the best choice. With lightning speeds she ducks as low as she can, slicing at my ankles, but to her surprise, I am above her before she can even blink. I burst forth, launching myself off of the ground using the butt of my spear, already winding up a kick, meant to slam her into the dirt. I do not succeed exactly, but she is forced to back off, and while she rolls off the ground, staggering to her feet again, I drop my spear and hit her square in the jaw again, sending her back to the dirt.

“WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT!?” She yells in impatience. She comes at me with a barrage of thrusts and slices, clearly upset. Her glasses are broken now, revealing a face struck with nerves. Some of the cuts land, but don’t go deep, I managed to weave behind her hilt and slam a fist into her abdomen. She falls back, and stabs downward, trying to stab my foot with the tip of her sword to immobilize me, but I’m too quick. I knock her to the floor, kicking out her feet, and stand over her.

I don’t speak, but Hinsa does from the stands. “You do know you HAVE to kill her right..? you big pacifist! I mean I get what you were doing. PaciFIST, with the whole punchy punchy thing, but you have to kill her at some point!” I frown as Hinsa’s words cut through the air, like a wind of disappointment. By this point my opponent has no weapon, and clearly no skill at hand to hand combat, I’ve won… But do I really want to succumb to the red?

I pause for a few seconds before muttering “At least to my recollection, you are the first I have killed. I do not believe otherwise, you will never call me a murderer again.”I hesitate, before just stomping on her neck to end it fast. I don’t wanna see the blood, as much as it brings something… Out of me. She screams, the sound like a pipe being grinded down to dust.

I walk away, with a shadow cast over my once nervous face. My hands are in my pockets as I walk the walk of shame back to the top of the arena. I rub my neck again as I reach my tree, finding solace in the green of the grass, I sit down again, ignoring Hinsa who winks at me from her seat. I wait in silent rage for my next opponent.

-An hour or so later, after I had fought one other opponent, the finals approached.-

After having thought without end about my first match, I am at the end at some kind of invisible rope, my mind is cheering for me to kill my opponent without care this time. I step down into the pit again, nabbing the spear once more. My presence looms over my opponent as they see orange sparks in my eyes. I hold my spear to one side, and tilt my head to the other, an inhumane smile cracked across my face. It felt good to crunch that girl's skull on reflection… I wonder what this guy will feel like when I pierce it all the way through! “Let’s just get this over with.”

My now third opponent, and last, has bright orange hair, and yellow eyes. He doesn’t look easily intimidated from his facial features, but he is definitely thrown off by the stark contrast in how I seem to be acting in comparison to my last fight.

This guy is smart, keeping his distance and only striking with an opening, using a heavy dagger. He waltzes in a diagonal motion toward me, and I keep my guard down, a lot like last time. The main difference though, is that I put my spear in my mouth, put one hand on the ground, and put the other in a fist before me. I move around him in an orbit, but get subtly closer with every passing moment, my teeth clenched around my spear.

Suddenly the orange haired guy strikes. I didn’t bother to read his name this time, he was dead the second he got paired with me. I can already see his blood dripping, his flesh ripping.

I launch up into the air as he swings at me, so fast that the orange haired guy couldn’t even see me leave the ground, I slam down into his head with a heavy kick, enough to cause brain damage even, he wind’s back with the force of my punishing kick.

The orange haired guy spits up a bit of blood, and can’t seem to stand up straight after having been hit square in the back of the head, by the sole of my foot. I walk over to him as he squirms helplessly. His knife had fallen from his hand at my feet, and I picked it up like a mom who had dropped her keys. “Hey buddy! It looks like you dropped this… Do you want your toy back? Well first we have to visit the dentist, is that okay with you?” I ask in a sadistic and playful tone, already having gathered a plan for him. I am losing it now. Something in my head hurts so bad…

I grab the guy by the throat, and he screams as I draw the knife to his mouth, sliding it across his gums, blood seeping out. I stick the tip of the knife in between two of his teeth. “Ah, what a dear shame… It seems that you have a cavity in here my dear patient..! We might have to remove that tooth, it's a lost cause huh?.” I jut the back of the knife sideways, cracking the tooth right out of his mouth, he screams in pain, and I do this a few more times.

Something in my smile fades when I see the teeth hit the floor though, some innocent part of me realizes that I am torturing a person for really no reason at all… (But he wants to kill me!But he had to!But most, if not all the people here are fugitives, killing him won’t matter!All lives deserve a second chance! Kill…Save…) I toss him aside, his body crumpling as he hits the floor.

I pause and lament over my careless bloodlust, opening my mouth, needing to say my word…

“...Kill me.” I pause for a second ”I’ll let you win.” My voice echoes out over the arena, hesitant, but loud and clear.. The orange haired guy is stunned, and so is everyone in the audience.

Hinsa growls and jumps into the arena, not happy with my idea to play dirty, and also not going to let such a valuable asset die. She yanks my spear from my hands and throws it like a dart straight through the orange hair of the guy, shattering his skull undoubtedly, with a show of force unlike what I had first expected of her being capable of.

My eyes go wide. “W-What the fuck!?” I yell as I watch the blood spurt from the guy's head. I look over at Hinsa.

“You can’t sacrifice yourself!” She spits.

“Since when was that a rule!?” I spit back.

“...” Hinsa stops, and walks from the arena, not giving me another look. She waves her hand dismissively at me.

All I am left to think is: (THAT, THAT was my last fight? THAT, THAT is how I win?) My hands drop to my sides, and I just look up at the sun, knowing that after I had been sitting under my tree for long enough, so many had died, and this little orange haired guy was the last, but no… Now I am the last, what does my destiny hold? I look at my hands and wonder if becoming a Cybernetic will change my humanity for the worse beyond how bad it already clearly was.