Published January 17, 2010
At the end of the names ate little things lime this *. Those are the names I changed to protect my friend. Thank you and enjoy.
When I was in sixth grade, this really cute guy transferred from some school, his name was Alec*. He was in seventh grade so he never actually really talked to me. Well everyone Except him and most of the eighth graders talked to me. So after a while I sort of got over him and I forgot he existed. But all of a sudden he started to hang around more of my friends. I told all of my friends how cute I thought Alec was. Word travels fast I guess so it got around to alot of people. Even his ex-girlfriend, who, at the time i didn't know. Her name was Jenny*.
Jenny was on the girls basketball team, so everybody knew her. She started telling people she was going to beat me up and even though I knew she was joking I was still scared. Every time I saw her in the halls I'd run to somewhere safe where there were witnesses.
On New Years eve of last year, I got Jenny's number from my friends. The next day I talked to her for the first time, no witnesses, and no jokes. That day, January 1st, 2009, changed my life forever.
After a while we knew we were friends. It wasn't actually discussed or anything, we just knew. I'd only text her on a Friday or a Saturday in case I said something wrong she couldn't beat me up the next day. She was one of those girls that was known to not be messed with. A bully could summon her up.
After a few months we became the best of friends. We have alot of differences, but I think that's what attracted us in the first place.
We had earned each others trust and shared secret after secret to each other, secrets that could kill. Jenny was afraid of
people finding her and reporting her family to child and adult protective services if I wrote and posted our story, but she trusted me, and I'm trusting every single one of you.
Her dad abused her and her mother. Her two little sisters only got "whoopings"(which I don't think is any better) because they were alot younger.He smoked weed and got drunk all the time. To me she was a soldier, dealing with the beatings she got.
I made it very clear to her if she ever needed help or needed to talk, all she needed to do was call or text me. She started to worry me more and more when she turned to drinking and smoking(as her friends and cousins did) to "forget", as she would say. It made me angry whenever she would admit to me she had taken a shot or she got high. It made me mad because I knew and I know she knew, she's way better than that.
Sometimes Jenny would come to school with marks on her face and I'd be the only one knowing the truth behind it. She didn't even have to tell me, you could just see the pain and hurt in her eyes.
I remember one time, she called me and her dad had beaten her. He busted her lip and punched her in the face. I remember this the most because I didn't answer the phone. She ran away that night too. God! How could I have been so selfish to not answer the phone?!
Later that night, she got it even worse. She didn't go to school the next day, or the next day. I thought she was dead, literally. There were other incidents that were even worse than that, but too explicit to type and too hard for me to want to
remember. I just don't understand how people could be so....so cruel.
After a while, we realized the school year was almost over. I think I took it harder than she did. She was going to graduate, I was going to be a middle schooler. I was and still am scared for her because when she gets knocked down, it takes her a long time to get back up and dust it off. I was also scared she would start smoking again(which she stopped doing for like six months). I told her of my worries, and how much I lived her and how much she meant to me, and what she said still sticks with me;
I could never ever want nothing to do with you. You changed me and helped me change. Your my best friend! You will be first before anyone
The day of her graduation, me and my other friend walked down to the church where it was. As I watched her walk across the stage to recieve academic awards, I had flashbacks of that day, January 1st 2009.
After I held it together in the church, I walked outside, and cried as I sat on the curb, my friend by my side. I cried and cried and cried. I cried because I was sad that our friendship might end, and I cried because I was happy. Happy that I got a chance, happy because Jenny was my friend, but most of all, happy becaus Alec came to our school.
Me and Jenny are still best friends and keep in contact whenever we have time,her being in high school and me going to a
new middle school, it's hard but not impossible. Her dad no longer lives with her family,and Jenny and her mother aren't
abused any longer. Jenny's one of those girls I couldn't live without and is like a big sister to me. Alec left before the school year was even over. I'm thankful God sent him to our school and gave me a chance to be friends with Jenny.
Recently, Jenny has "come out" to me. In other words, she has told me that she's bisexual. I think it's really weird that she has a girlfriend and everything because of the way she is(you have to know her to understand). But you know what? Fuck it! If my best friend wants to be bi-, that's totally cool with me. Her and her girlfriend are in love. So if that's what she wants to do, she has my full respect and support. 
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140,108 Literary Works • 673,015 Reviews
The way you wrote this story was very understandable; an easy read. I like how that was consistant and it carried through. I find that if one says too much about an emotion than it takes way from the actuall feel of the emotion. A quick couple words and nothing else is great. But at some points I found that there should have been an emotion described when there was not.
Otherwise, it was great!
Hey Layla!
Anyway, one thing I would really love to see is what exactly you said to each other on Jan. 1. I don't know... you probably don't remember all the details, but even just the general gist would be nice. I want to see why you are best friends with her! 
First of all, I boosted this to a 16+ because of the f-word in it.
So, this was a really good piece! I'm glad it's a happy ending... I was worried there for a while.
Also, I'm glad she's away from that abuse... that's an awful life to live!
Hi Layla,
your account of your bestfriend's abuse is heroic and commendable.
anyway, on the technicals:
this is a narrative exposition of Jenny's story through your eyes. alhtough generally, non-fiction is written in an objective manner, that is, written, on a non-partisan, independent third party point of view, I could not imagine this piece in that tone. your evocation of emotions is too strong that i feel for you and your friend. your title is, well ok, related to the story but i think you could have chosen a more appropriate one that would exalt your friend's courage and strength.
although some parts does seem vague and seemed loosely connected to the previous events, i think this piece is good, altogether.
you are one lucky girl to know your bestfriend. her being a bi is inconsequential. both of you, stay safe and take care
How can people be so cruel? Who would harm a child? Who would have the audacity and sheer callousness to do this? No one deserves the treatment her father gave her. I might aswell ask "Why do we have evil?" Still, at least he's away from her, now, so she is safe where she is. Nice story!
Hello there!
I didn't find anything wrong other then the things that people have already commented on. It is a very good story that you told and I know where you are coming from. I had a friend who dealt with difficult issues in their life also. I can connect to the part where you felt bad about not answer your phone, because I can admit to doing the same thing.
Well anyway, there is one big problem that I had with your story. I'm still not sure how the boy has anything to do with the story. Is it that if you had never tried to talk to him you would never met your friend? That's what I got out of it. Well, again I enjoyed your story. Keep up the good work.
Ok Flower here to review. One thing that I noticed that you kept doing was switching from past to present alot. I think that you should stick with one. I also think that if this is a story it should be told like a story. There should be more details! It is also told in a very draggish voice. It's like you have told it for the hundredth time and you are sick of the story. Give some more emotion, and this could be a great story. Sorry about you friend by the way, I don't think i could deal with that.
Keep Writing
-Flower-
Hi i'm sionarama! I liked your story. It was heartwarming and sad though cussing is a big prob. also spacing is. Keep up the good work.
Hey Leyla! This was a really nice story, and I liked the overall feel of it. I don't really have much to say here, because people already all got the nitpicks that have been bugging me. You've got some really good characterization, and this is fun to read. I can feel the pain that it took to write this. However, I would just like to enforce two points that have been made:
Swearing
I'll have to agree with BenFranks about the swearing. In my view, it's really something that you should leave out of your writing. To me, when an author swears in their work, it looks like they're insecure and trying to be cool, but in reality it just makes you look stupid. Keep swearing to your everyday life and blogs.
Proofreading
You really need to proofread your work before you post it. When I read something aloud, it helps me catch a lot of mistakes. You've got easily correctable mistakes in here, for instance, "limes", that could have been caught had you proofread it. YWS also has a spellchecker. If you check in the right hand corner, right above the text box, you'll see it.
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Hope this helps and best of luck in your writing!
-Elinor
Hey there,
There's a few things that make this piece lacking in what it should be and generally it's due to your use of punctuation and structuring. Moslty this is okay but sometimes you can seem to jump or confuse your reader. It might help to read over it.
I second the nitpicks that have been mentioned so far and there's a typo in your author's note as well where I think by "lime" you mean "like". Also the cursing in non-fiction defeats purpose because it's like saying you can't come up with the right description, cursing should be left to fiction.
Hope this helps,
~Ben
Hey Layla.
I thought this was a good story, but it was a mess. You had a lot of mistakes, so just check over your work a second time in the future. Also, I noticed that you only rated this at "12" If you're going to put the "word" if you know what I'm saying, rate it higher or just get rid of it. i don't believe that cursing makes your writing better. But, it is a free country and you can do what you want.
Hope this helps,
Minister
What about limes?
So anyways, Hiya, hey there, hola, greetings, salutations, aloha, bonjour, guten tag, et cetera. I've decided I'll give a review today! ^^
Lower case.
Fix the little space there, and maybe add one of those hyphen thingies in there instead of a comma.
Would be "loved", I do believe.
This just bugged me. It would be "you're" because the meaning in this case is "you are".
Jenny and I, I'm pretty sure.
So, yeah. A few spelling mistakes. I've glad you and your friend are all right.
Dealing with a abusive parent is hard I know first hand. I'm one of the lucky ones who has gotten out of such a household as described. But I really wised at the time I could have had a friend as good as one to help me through each day. Your a good person and I admire your compassion for your friend. As a review I would advise to check a bit of grammar and spelling, but besides that it was flawless.
Hey! I know you told me to check this out ages ago but oh well. Here goes; I LOVED THIS! It was so cute, your friendship with Jenny is really sweet. BTW I have also a best friend named Jenny!
Nice story, well written. Just space out those paragraphs correctly and you're good to go! 
xxxxxxx
Hi! I'm Rosey, and I'll be your reviewer today.
A few nit-picks:
"I" is important, so it should be capitalized.
Jenny should be capitalized, and there should be an ' after the y, to show the number belongs to Jenny.
Delete the "n" and replace it with a space.
~ Replace the "b" with a space.
~ You're calling your friend "Jamie" here, when you'd called her "Jenny" before.
*
I liked the overall feel of this story. But I think you're missing some conflict. What I mean, is, there's no real problem in this story. Conflict makes a story heart-wrenching. If you were to show some of these moments with Jenny, like how it felt to get her number, how it felt like when you started getting closer, what happened when she told you those deepest secrets and turned to drugs, then we'd feel a lot more emotionally connected to this work. Right now, I like that you found a good friend, but the narrative leaves me walking away feeling pretty much the same as I did before.
Hope this helps, and PM me with any questions!
~Rosey
Um...
I think you forgot to change some of the names at the end, so you should probably do that before too many people read this.
Other than that, I can really sympathize with you. I've known a lot of people who have been in similar family situations in the past.