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I like this. Short and sweet. It's very eerie like, but it's probably cause I havent read your book, but oh well. I am very puzzles by your ' our' in your first line. Our what? May be another book thing. Keep on writing!
-Ruth

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I just need it to sound, I guess....elegant? in the novel when I post the chapter. It needs to be kind of fantastical.

Lavvi

The first couple of lines, while sounding cool, don't really make sense. You said "our" at the end of the first line, but "our" what? Did you mean us? That would make a bit more sense if it was "ours" instead... I dunno. Maybe it was just a typo? I would also suggest possibly changing the word "unalike". It sounds a bit bulky in the first line, interrupts the already smooth flow. Overall, this was an extremely good piece of poetry- I would just consider changing those two things. Great job.

Coral