An Explosion

I'm going to university/college (for Americans) in the fall and my school has a special program, for which they require us to write a reflective essay prior to arrival on campus. We were told that it could be creative! The essay will be read by quite a few people, including our academic advisors, peer advisors, and director of said special program. I would appreciate feedback on the personal essay prior to submission, which is July 1st. I have redacted the name of the university for privacy reasons. Thanks for your help! :) 

The prompt question for the essay is: 

What is something important that you will leave behind when you come to [university]? What is something important that you will take with you?

On the last day, my heart exploded. We had transported one of the dayroom’s crappy formica tables onto the paved walkway out front and, around it, arranged chairs (also suitably crappy). Despite the heat, Zoë still insisted on making tea. I still wonder if her disproportionate love for the drink was the actual reason she always made it for us, or if it was because of the wide smiles of unconditional love that always greeted her as she attempted – and often succeeded – to balance five or six mugs between her hands. So there we were, an eclectic group of tea-drinking students who never should have been, basking in the island sun, spouting laughter that carried far across the bay to the Pacific; indeed, our eyes were bright with the type of aching love that only exists when breaking farewells are imminent.

Two years with these people who became not just friends, but sisters and girlfriends and brothers and boyfriends – confidantes and soulmates –, is not easily forgotten. Not easily forgotten is the trek from passionate Kantian discourse to pinpointing Stromae’s social commentary (undisputed god of French house music). Not easily forgotten is letting everything go, from exam anxiety to the latest broken heart, in screams over the bay, only to be met with the serenity of sleepy, coastal forests. No, not easily forgotten is the sensation of your best friend’s tears on your face – or are they yours? Moving from room to room, because the mood of homework changes. Sometimes marine science prefers the sparkle of the marina across the water or the arbutus trees that extend like the Gates of Heaven by the spiritual centre (although, I tended to reserve such a place for Rumi’s lyrical Arabic). And it was the crêpes at midnight with my houseparents that saved my life during the most stressful times.

So there was really nothing else for my heart to do but explode as, in just one day, all of these memories, full of light, joy, heartbreak, and tears, became bittersweet shards of glass and I swelled too much and hurt too much and loved too much and cried too much. Finally, it was all too good and wonderful to last. My time at Pearson, at the United World College, had come to its appropriate, expected end. Where words spoken or on paper could not express the explosion of my love for the shining individuals that had graced my Pearson experience in the past two years, I sobbed into shoulders, clutched hugs, and planted kisses. At the time, I thought that everything I had built up – the community, the support, the love – was crashing down too quickly too fast. In a way, I was experiencing my own personal apocalypse, where emotion shrouded my usually optimistic outlook. And, in another way, one part of this is true because never again will we all be together again and never again will we have the exact same experiences together because life goes on, variety is beautiful, and we all get older. Reunions will come and not everyone will show. That is a fact. Our special bond is stretched thinner, at points diluted, at other times severed, parts of which might never be recovered. I have left behind the safe bubble and shelved brilliant memories. I leave my Pearson behind and the physical aspects of it, but there is a part of it that will remain forever woven into who I am as a person.

It is this part – the strong sense of community, the deep loyalty for people met along the way, the almost irritating enthusiasm for life – that I will eagerly pack in my bags for [university]. Because of these values, solidified over the course of two formative years at Pearson College, I will actively seek out meaningful relationships with the college and with my fellow [university demonym], to ensure that I am living life to its fullest, loving with all of my heart, and making an honest difference in this often confusing, daunting world. Already, without having stepped foot on campus or met a single [university demonym] in person, I can feel my heart swelling for the [university] community and all it has to offer. I will bring with my keen enthusiasm and dedication so that I can be the best student, the best participant, the best friend, and the best sister.

On the first day, my heart will explode.